Episode 14 - Mousetrap
ACT TWO
EXT. THE MAGIC BOX - DAY (DAY THREE)
to establish.
We prelap:
ANYA (V.O.)
Rats?
INT. THE MAGIC BOX - DAY
ANGLE : ANYA
concerned countenance.
ANYA
You mean, third cousin, once removed
from rabbits, rats?
We CUT TO a shot of the Gang around the table.
Everyone here except Giles. Amy is in a cage in the
middle of the table.
BUFFY
Uh huh.. and with the big.
XANDER
(little nervous)
Big? You mean Chihuahua big right?
BUFFY
More like Mexico big.
WILLOW
It's been all over the news.
There've been all these sightings in
and around Sunnydale.
XANDER
(as if reading a marquee)
Giant rats invade Sunnydale. It's
like one big, cheesy B-grade movie..
emphasis on the cheese.
BUFFY
That's not even the half of it. They
like talk now.
TARA
T-They talk?
BUFFY
Yup. It's like someone's dropped us
in a Disney movie.. only, without
the singing.. and dancing.. and I
seriously doubt there's gonna be a
cute, yummy, choclate-covered moral
message at the centre of all this.
DAWN
This is so not normal. This is like
far east of normal.
BUFFY
No, this is Sunnydale. Normal for
this town is like.. giant snakes for
graduation.
WILLOW
Evil Internet demons who turn into
robots.
TARA
Dracula and, you know, thralls.
XANDER
Double Xander. Creepy.. but funny in
retrospect.
ANYA
Alternate realities where the vamps
have taken over and.. wait, you guys
weren't there for that one.
BUFFY
This place is definitely gettin' me
weiry of the eerie. Some days, I
long for just a nice, wholesome crop
circle or two.
ANYA
So, do we know what these giant
nibblers want? Cheese right? Cause I
can whip up a nice fondue.
XANDER
(a little earnest)
All rats are evil. Given the chance,
they'll turn on their masters and
enslave the human population.
(off looks)
Not that I've given it much thought
or anything.
BUFFY
Well, if last night is anything to
go by, they're not here to forge a
brave new chapter in human/vermin
co-existence.
XANDER
So, what are we thinking? New
species of giant, evil rats? Cause I
think we've got the Museum on speed-
dial. This critter could finally put
this place on the map.. Rattus
Sunnydalus.
BUFFY
I'm thinking more that our local
rats were turned. I mean, have any
of you guys seen a normal-sized rat
since last night?
Everyone quietly turns to look at Amy in her cage at
the middle of the table. A beat.
BUFFY
I really gotta plan things through
before I try to make a point.
ANYA
(re Amy)
Yeah, what's with Miss 'I just wanna
be different from the crowd' here?
Willow thinks for a beat, then something occurs to
her.
WILLOW
(to Tara, all excited)
Oh! Oh! Amy.. with the floaties.
XANDER
You're teaching Amy to swim?
WILLOW
(unimpressed)
No.
TARA
She started floating stuff last
night.
BUFFY
Floating? We're not talking creepy
Linda Blair antics here are we?
Cause I don't know any priests
who specialise in rat exorcism.
DAWN
No, it was really cool.
WILLOW
Yeah, you just show her something,
tell her to float it, and reward her
with a yoghurt drop when she does.
Works every time.
BUFFY
Wait a minute. So you're saying this
thing with Amy is linked with the
sudden growth spurts?
WILLOW
Amy's not a true rat, so whatever
happened last night to turn the
other rats half-human must've also
caused Amy to regain some of her
human attributes.. in this case, her
ability to do magic.
(a beat, off looks)
Hey, if anyone can come up with
anything better, I'll be happy to
take your calls.
XANDER
Great, we've got this whole thing
with the General, giant man-eating
rats and the much anticipated return
of WiccAmy. Doesn't leave much room
for an encore.
ANYA
So, what do we do?
A few awkward looks, each Scoob looking to the other
to start. They eventually all turn to Buffy.
BUFFY
Well.. I guess.. I mean, it's
obvious that we have to start by..
um.. doing that thing we always do..
at the start.., you know, before we
get to that thing we do in the
middle.. um..
(a beat, then as if an
actor forgetting her line)
Line?
TARA
We need Mr Giles. He's the co-
ordinaty guy. He'll know what to do.
XANDER
There you go. Plan! That wasn't so
hard. We'll get Giles to do all the
messy thinking and stuff.
(to Buffy)
Where is he?
BUFFY
I don't know. I left a message on
his answering machine. It's totally
not like him to sleep on the job.
INT. RAT'S LAIR/PRISON - DAY
ANGLE : GILES
unconscious, lying on a makshift bunk bed.
FEMALE VOICE (O.S.)
Rupert.. Rupert
Giles begins to stir. He slowly opens his eyes.
REVERSE ANGLE : A BLURRY FIGURE
looking down on him.
GILES
Jenny?
REVERSE ANGLE : A FEMALE FIGURE
sitting on a bed opposite. She is all blurred and
unrecognisable as Giles is still dazed.
FEMALE VOICE
Shh. I'm right here.
Giles slowly clears his head and stares at the figure
again.
REVERSE ANGLE : A BLURRY FIGURE
as we slowly get the figure into focus to reveal
Sasha, smiling. She sits on a bed about two metres
across from Giles. We see the two are in some sort of
cell, metal bars surrounding them. The cell itself is
in a small, empty room which is sparsely lighted and
has one door leading out.
GILES
(looking around)
Where are we?
SASHA
Doesn't really matter does it?
Sasha raises her left arm to show a chain around her
wrist which leads to a metal hook embedded in the
floor. Giles notices that he has been similarly
chained.
SASHA
It's not like we're going anywhere.
(a beat, then playfully)
Do you know your nose twitches when
you sleep? It's the cutest thing.
GILES
Do you know that I won't hesitate to
stake you the moment I see you
sleep?
SASHA
(appraising Giles)
You're a strange one. I mean, most
men, once they know who I am.. what
I am.. they tend to lose that
endearing boyish confidence of
theirs. It becomes far too easy. Far
too dull. But you..
Sasha slinks off the bed, gets on the floor and
playfully prowls towards Giles, as if a cat closing in
on its prey. Giles watches Sasha approach but does not
flinch. Sasha gets closer and closer then.. clink. The
sound of the chain reaching its limit, holding Sasha
in place. Sasha reaches out with her other hand
towards Giles, almost touching Giles, inches away from
his face.
SASHA
Don't you know what I can do to you?
What I will do to you?
GILES
What could you possibly do to me
that I would even care about?
Sasha stares at Rupert strangely, then smiles.
We hear a door being unlocked. Sasha returns to her
bed. Hugo enters with another giant white rat. They
are flanked by two giant brown rats.
HUGO
Good day to you both. I trust you
had a pleasant journey into night.
I'm sorry we couldn't do any better
than your current accomodations but
we were rather pressed for time.
Giles and Sasha continue to stare, taking in the
scene.
HUGO
Rupert Giles..
(then turning to Sasha)
and friend. I'm sorry such a lovely,
delicate creature such as yourself
had to be caught up in this unseemly
mess.
Sasha smiles, almost flattered.
GILES
You have got to be joking.
Sasha shoots a quick look at Giles, then back at Hugo.
SASHA
And who might you be?
GILES
A giant, talking rat.
HUGO
(to Giles)
That I am, and very much more.
People call me Hugo. Those people
are now dead. You may call me Hugo.
GILES
Charming.
Hugo points to the angry looking white rat next to
him.
HUGO
This is Fink.
GILES
You look like a fink.
Fink snarls angrily and slams his paw into the cage
angrily.
HUGO
Now, now. These people are our
guests. We wouldn't want to give our
species a bad name now do we? Why
don't you wait outside?
Fink gives Giles one last angry look before exiting.
Hugo turns back to Giles.
HUGO
You'll have to excuse him. His human
handlers treated him rather badly,
what with all those nasty
experiments. It all ended rather
badly for him.. and as it turns out,
his handlers. He's not like us. We
are a more cultured, civilised lot.
I'm sure we can communicate without
bringing up the long held animosity
between our species. Why don't we
try this? You forgive us for that
unfortunate business with the plague
and we'll forgive you for trying to
exterminate us all these centuries..
that and Michael Bolton.
Hugo turns to leave.
GILES
What exactly do you want?
HUGO
(turning back to Giles)
Oh, I have what I want.. for now.
The rest will soon follow. You'll
see. It's going to be a brave new
world.
Sasha and Giles share a look as Hugo exits..
INT. RAT'S LAIR/OUTSIDE THE PRISON - DAY
as Hugo exits the prison. Fink comes up to him.
FINK
Can we kill them?
HUGO
Not yet. Soon.. when it is done.
Then, my friend, you can play with
them as long as you like.
Hugo exits off-screen as we look at Fink, evily smile
on his face.
EXT. THE MAGIC BOX - DAY
to establish.
INT. THE MAGIC BOX - DAY
We see Anya, Xander, Dawn, Willow and Tara seated
around the table in deep research mode. Plenty of
books littered on the table. Willow is on her laptop
while everyone else browses through books.
ANYA
(grumbly)
Research.. research. That's all we
ever do. I hate going through these
musty old books.
DAWN
I think it's cool.
ANYA
Oh, you're so young.
(takes a look at the
mountain of books)
I mean, I bet you could die from
going through these. Think about it.
There are all these germs lying
dormant for hundreds of years,
trapped between the pages of these
books until someone decides to look
up..
(grabs a book and flips to
a random page and looks)
Eeww.
Anya shuts the book quickly.
ANYA
I don't want to catch the germs from
someone who's looked that up.
WILLOW
(snarky)
Maybe you could spend your time more
productively. Oh! I know! You can
grab a sherper and a pair of
climbing boots and get over that
gigantic ego of yours. You might
wanna bring some extra oxygen
bottles cause I hear the air is
pretty thin up there.
ANYA
It's easy for you to say, Miss
computer gal on her laptop over
there. I mean, for all we know, you
could be looking at pictures of
buxomy models in swimsuits.
WILLOW
(disparagingly)
Yeah.
Tara looks up and takes a look over at Willow, raised
eyebrow.
WILLOW
(noticing, panicy)
'Yeah' in a totally no way.
Willow turns the laptop around to show everyone.
WILLOW
See. Boring facts and figures.
(quickly clarifying)
Diagrammy figures, not the stimulaty
kind.
DAWN
What are you looking up there?
WILLOW
Oh. We're guessing that this whole
thing's been dipped in some magicy
goodness. I mean, rats turning into
evily half-human creatures? Let's
face it. It's not like
transmogrification is a new word in
the Scooby lexicon.
XANDER
Okay, two words there I'm pretty
sure I'll never use in a sentence.
TARA
If this is a work of a spell, it's a
very powerful one. We're thinking
that a talisman is probably
involved.
DAWN
Talisman?
TARA
Uh huh. Certain orbs, amulets and
crystals can be used to amplify
magical energies. There are some
very powerful ones floating around
the place.
WILLOW
They also leave a distinctive trail,
so we could probably work out what
it is if we cast a little spell of
our own.
A door-bell rings as Buffy enters the store.
DAWN
Buffy!
WILLOW
Any luck?
BUFFY
Nope. He's not at home and he's not
at the Espresso Bar. I spoke to the
manager and he said he left at
around closing time last night and..
XANDER
Oh wait. Say no more. It's obvious!
Our Rupert found himself a Ruprette.
You need to be a guy to know these
things.
(off the looks)
What? Do I have to paint you guys a
mental picture? Cause with Giles,
it's gonna have to be in abstract
form.
BUFFY
Okay Pablo.. If you'd let me
finish, I was gonna say that his car
is still parked outside the Bar and
some people heard scuffling after he
left.
XANDER
Well, sure, that whole date theory
seems a little less likely now.
DAWN
Giles is missing?
BUFFY
Don't worry Dawn. I'm sure he's
okay. We'll find him.
(turning back to the rest
of the group)
Will, Anya, Xander? We'll split up
and search the town. He's bound to
be somewhere. Tara, stay here with
Dawn in case he turns up here.
Tara nods. Willow, Anya, Xander and Buffy begin to
head out. Anya leads the way. Suddenly..
A giant brown rat bursts through the front entrance of
the store. Anya, standing closest to the rat, freezes.
Buffy gets into a defensive posture.
The rat snarls menacingly for a beat, all wild and
vicious. It then suddenly stands up on its hind legs
and produces a piece of paper from one of its paws. It
takes a deep breath, strains hard to read the paper.
MESSENGER RAT
(slowly, having difficulty
reading)
The great and mighty Hugo, leader of
the new order of rats has a message
for the one known as the slayer.
The rat looks up and quickly surveys the room,
straining to make out the people. He instinctively
focuses on the closest person, Anya.
MESSENGER RAT
(addressing Anya)
We have the one known as the
watcher. The great and mighty Hugo
politely requests the slayer's
presence at the Sunnydale Dump
tonight at seven to discuss terms
for a power-sharing deal. If the
slayer fails to comply, we will kill
the watcher.
The rat finishes his speech and puts the paper away.
He looks up and addreses the group.
MESSENGER RAT
I have been told to destroy an item
in the shop before I leave to show
the seriousness of our intent.
Reaction shot of the group - rooted to the spot, not
quite making sense of all this.
The rat heads over to an expensive looking vase on a
stand and is about to pick it up when..
ANYA
No, wait! Not that. Try the crystal
balls over there. They're on sale.
The rat looks at Anya for a beat, down at the vase,
then puts it down. He grabs a crystal ball and throws
it to the ground, shattering it. He snarls, satisfied
at his work. He promptly leaves the shop. Buffy takes
a few steps forward and looks out the store.
Anya takes a look at the shattered fragments at her
feet, then calling to the departed rat..
ANYA
Thank you.
DAWN
Well, that was convenient, you know,
with the exposition-gram and all.
ANYA
Yes, they should all do that. It
would save us from all this
searching and reading.
TARA
What do we do now?
Buffy turns to face the group, looking a little lost
and unsure.
INT. GENERAL'S MANSION - DAY
We see Harmony skulking around quietly in some large
room containing a few sleeping vamps. As she tip-toes
through the room, she quietly counts the number of
vampires.
HARMONY
One potato, two potato, three
potato..
She finishes counting and exits the room to a hallway.
She produces a piece of paper from a pocket and begins
to scribble on it with a pen.
ANGLE : PAPER
as we see adding a little room to a crude map she has
drawn on the paper. She draws a few cartoony stick
figures in the room and adds a few 'zzZZ's for effect.
She smiles, proud of her little effort, and places the
map back into her pocket.
She turns into another hallway and spots a closed
door. She takes a few furtive looks around and slowly
steps towards the door. She knocks on the door.
HARMONY
Hello? Someone order a pizza? Extra
blood, hold the anchovies?
No response. Harmony nervously reaches for the
doorknob.
SOLOMON (O.S.)
What are you doing here?
Harmony spins around to see Solomon behind her,
holding on to a box containing various trinkets.
HARMONY
(mortified for a beat,
then panicy)
Um.. lost.. bathroom?
Solomon stares hard at Harmony.
HARMONY
I mean, I was lost.. not the
bathroom, cause that would be
silly.. the bathroom being a not-
moving object and all.. and me being
a completely moving object.. which I
will now totally demonstrate.
Harmony turns and starts to scamper away.
SOLOMON
Stop!
Harmony stops, turns around slowly.. dreading what may
come.
SOLOMON
(nodding the opposite
direction)
Bathroom's that way.
Harmony smiles and scampers off the other direction.
Solomon looks on, looking a little suspicious. After a
beat, he turns away and heads for the closed door. He
is about to open it when..
THE GENERAL (O.S.)
Solomon.
Solomon turns to see the General calling him from an
adjoining chamber.
THE GENERAL
Come out here where I can see you.
Solomon does so, carrying the box with him.
SOLOMON
General.
The General steps closer to Solomon and takes a look
at the box of trinkets in Solomon's hands.
THE GENERAL
Well, what do we have here?
SOLOMON
Just a personal project.
THE GENERAL
(idly browsing through the
box)
One of these days, I feel we might
need to have a little chat about
these personal projects of yours.
SOLOMON
(bowing respectfully)
Yes General.
THE GENERAL
Have you seen Sasha?
SOLOMON
She hasn't returned from her
feeding?
THE GENERAL
Oh, I'm sure she's in some dark,
dank place.. sleeping off her feast.
SOLOMON
Shouldn't we find her? We can't
afford to have any disruptions this
close to the handover.
THE GENERAL
She's a big girl. She can look after
herself. Besides, I have things well
in hand. Things will run just as
smoothly without our dear Sasha.
A vamp enters the chamber. He bows.
VAMPIRE
General.
THE GENERAL
Yes, what is it?
VAMPIRE
There's a creature here who says he
has a message for you.
Two more vamps enter, flanking a giant brown demon-
rat. The rat looks up at the General and smiles.
BLACKOUT
END OF ACT TWO
CONTINUE TO ACT THREE