FALLEN
Everybody's Fool
*Perfect by nature Icons of self indulgence*
He doesn't see it, that's become apparent. Over the months he's been here, he drifts by, day by day. It seems he's succumbed himself to merely exist, not live, and I can't help but wonder if I've played a major role in that. It's most obvious when he looks in the mirror. Even from a distance, you can tell that he doesn't know, doesn't recognize who he's looking at. Like he's a stranger to himself in all waking hours of the day.
Only the waking.
When he sleeps, it's like he's gone somewhere else. His dreams- nightmares rather, make him break out in cold sweat as he tosses back and forth, mumbling. I've tried to comfort him before, but he turns away.
Tonight, I just watch from the doorway, waiting for ghosts and monsters he sees to subside.
*Just what we all need More lies about a world that never was and never will be Have you no shame don't you see me You know you've got everybody fooled*
Rain beats the windows, leaving teary streaks so thick you can't see through them. He loves rain, always has. I've never really understood that about him, but then, there's a lot I don't understand, a lot he doesn't tell me. In fact, he never tells me anything.
Especially about her.
With most relationships, it's that he won't shut up about this or that or her. In this one, or lack there of, it's because he never says a word. I hear him late at night, on the phone, calling to talk to her, to hear her voice and seek her comfort, when I'm right next-door.
*Look here she comes now Bow down and stare in wonder Oh how we love you No flaws when you're pretending*
Pretending? Isn't that what he called it once? He's good at it, no doubt about that. Being something he's not. Feeling something he doesn't. Certainly fooled me. I guess that's the point though. He fooled everybody.
Doctor, lawyer, shrink, pilot. The list goes on and on, the identities on and on. It makes you wonder, if even he knows who he really is.
*And now I know she never was and never will be You don't know how you've betrayed me and somehow you've got everybody fooled*
He searches for those he's lost and helps those he finds, but he can't seem in all that to discover himself. At the rate he's going, one of these days he's going to die, wondering who he really is. And there'll be no one there to tell him, no one where to hold his hand.
Because the only person he wants to hold his hand pulls away every time. He doesn't accept anyone else, and he'll do whatever it takes to avoid the subject of his past, future or well-being.
*Without the mask where will you hide Can't find yourself Lost in your lies*
"Her? No, we're just...old friends."
Friends, in the loosest sense of the word. I don't hunt my friends, or attempt to kill them and I don't blow them off if they need to talk. They aren't friends. They're addicts. Addicted to each other in the most bizarre way. He can't go one day without contacting her.
*I know the truth now I know who you are and I don't love you anymore*
And I hate it. He knows I do. I hate that he insists that they're still friends. I hate that he insists that they're still only friends. I hate that he mistakes me for her. I hate that he ignores me. I hate how much I love him. And most of all, I hate that I don't love him anymore.
*It never was and never will be You're not real and you can't save me Somehow now you're everybody's fool*
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