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A Strange
Declaration Chapter 5 Patrick
felt stung. He didn’t know what to say. Is that really her idea of what’s
important? Is that all that matters to her? She sounds so idiotic! Patrick
had finally come to a point where he didn't think he could reach Christa anymore, and it hurt him. Christa
watched as Patrick’s face grew red, then sad and serious in a way it had
never looked at her before. Now as she looked into his eyes, Christa realized
that she had really upset him. She also understood that it wasn’t the
personal insult that upset him, but her shifting ideals. The
reality was, however, Christa wasn’t any different. She was only acting
differently. And suddenly, she realized that this person who would willingly
hurt one of her dearest friends was not the person Christa wanted to be. She
wanted to be the old Christa. It
wasn’t long before Christa’s face turned red, too. Standing in front of his quiet,
unblinking stare – one that only seemed to see the shell she had wrapped
around herself, Christa felt like a criminal. She knew better than to expect
him to be rude, but right now, this was an instance where such behavior would
have been justified. In fact, it might make her feel less guilty if he did. She
owed him an apology, and she needed to make it honest. I have to make
things right. "Patrick, I know you aren't trying to be mean to me.
You don't want to hurt me, but I was aiming low when I said that. I was just
trying to make you shut up, because I didn’t want to listen to what you had
to say. I’m sorry and I'm ready to listen now, if you'll forgive me." Patrick's
eyes softened and she felt a rush of genuine affection for him.
"Thanks." She said it for the unspoken words that he expressed with
his eyes. He was always willing to forgive--and she felt even more ashamed.
She needed to explain herself, but she began to feel defensive again. "I
wasn't having sex, or even getting close to it. Eric pursued me and you know
I didn't give him any encouragement for a long time. Tonight, I was only
going to give him a kiss. Is that going to really ruin my life? I mean, my
best friend, Jessica, kisses guys all the time, and she hasn’t had sex."
Patrick
didn’t know what else to do, but suddenly, he blurted out what he had been
thinking about ever since he saw Eric and Christa in the greenhouse.
"What if you’re the one for me? I've waited years for the right person,
and I have kept myself pure. You know I've told you about how I'm staying
away from everyone and trusting God to bring the right woman to me.” Christa
was silent and stock-still, frozen, it seemed. He continued. "Well,
tonight, I realized that you have all the qualities I want in a wife. When I
think of it, it’s as if God had made you especially for me.” Taking her hand,
he said softly, “You're a caring person, and you have a heart for God. You
want to help people, and you like to laugh and to make people laugh. You have
strong principles and a strong will. I love all that about you.” Then,
dropping her hand and stepping back a bit, he added, “And if you are the one
for me, I would want to know that you had waited for me. I would want you all
for myself." She realized why he had let go of her hand. If he hadn't,
those words would have made the touch too personal, and they both knew that
her age made that inappropriate at this time. Well, is it ever going to be
appropriate? He'll be 30 when I'm 18! |
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