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12
Years Makes a Difference FREE
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A Lasting
Promise Chapter 17 They
sat once more upon the steps. "You know how it feels to worry and wonder
if this will all fade away?" she asked slowly. Patrick's smile said that
he did. Finally, he took a breath and said, "If I wasn't sure that our
being together is God's will, I'd be a nervous wreck. You all the way over
here, attending college with all those muscular guys, and me such an old
codger." She took the bait, but not the way he expected. "You,
old?" she said, "No, you're a bit worn out and banged up, but I
wouldn't call you old--not exactly." The teasing glint in her eye made
him reach out and take her hand, drawing it to his lips. "Now I know how
hand-kissing became so popular. I don't dare get too close, but I can't seem
to keep my lips off you." She took that as a compliment and her smile
said so. Yet something in her eyes held back from him. He could see it, but
recognizing it was another matter. "What's
wrong?" he asked. Her face showed varying emotions as she struggled to
put her thought into words. "I don't know. It's just been so long, and I
realize right now that you'll be going away again. It's coloring everything
we do." Tears fell from her eyes, quickly increasing, until he thought
he might weep, too. Her throat tightened and it was difficult for her to get
the words out. "How
can I bear to miss you so much again, after seeing you now--knowing we could
stay together?" Patrick felt her pain, and in spite of his resolve not
to touch her, he reached out and took both her hands in his, pulling her
close to his side. "I love you, Christa. I'm coming back for you.
Nothing in the world could stop me." She smiled sadly and said,
"You can't promise that." Patrick
felt as if the rush of emotions inside him would soon burst his heart.
"Yes, I can. I can prove it." With this, her head came up, and in
spite of all her tears, she looked like a little girl waiting for a surprise.
He didn't disappoint her. Pulling
from his pocket a small box, Patrick opened it to reveal a small, sparkling
engagement ring. "I was waiting for this for later, but I want to give
it to you now, if you'll accept my proposal of marriage." He could see
that she was swallowing hard, and knowing that he didn't have much time
before she spoke again, he added in a rush. "Now
it won't be for a number of years, but I wanted you to know that I'll wait as
long as it takes." As tears began once again to fall along her cheeks
and onto the hands folded in her lap, he smiled and added softly, "I
told you I'm coming back for you. It's your turn to tell me whether you'll
wait for me." Christa's
heart was about to give out on her--she just knew it couldn't contain all
this happiness. How could she put into words what she was feeling? She wanted
to marry him now. Reaching
for his hand, she pulled it close to her, reveling in the smallest thing,
like the corded muscle of his forearm and the hardness of his nails. She
loved that his arms were hairy, masculine, and that his face was smooth and
baby soft. Giving him a kiss on the cheek, she finally found that she could
speak, but she didn't want to. All she wanted to do was listen to him say
that over and over again. He wanted to marry her--and he was promising to be
there for her when the time came. A
few moments ago, Christa had felt as if waiting were the most horrible thing
in the world--she had been unable to stand the thought of staying away from
him for so long, not knowing how it was going to end. Now, hearing him speak
so lovingly, seeing the promise in his eyes as he slipped the ring on the
hand she held out to him, knowing that he was giving her the rest of his
life--well, waiting didn't seem so hard anymore. So much joy filled Christa’s
heart that it radiated from her expression. After waiting for her voice to
return, she finally voiced her answer. "I would be honored to be your
wife." To
think Christa had waited all year just to see Patrick again, hoping he still
felt the same way about her, wondering how long she would have to wait until
she knew if he could envision a future with her. Christa knew she was very
young and that there was no logical reason that he should be drawn to someone
her age. Though
she had not doubted his love for her, she had wondered if in the months that
followed he might have begun to rethink the whole thing. Now, realizing that
during their time apart he had been planning the moment when he would present
her with this ring made her feel more blessed than she believed possible.
"I love you, Patrick," she found herself saying, breathing deeply
of the joy that seemed to surround her. It was almost a tangible presence,
this all-encompassing contentment. "I can gladly wait for you, Patrick,
now that I know that you will be coming back to me. That knowledge is such a
comfort to me." The
look in her eyes was changed. That shadow and gulf he had sensed between them
was gone. It was so nice to see her looking at him that way--open and
connected, the way she had always been with him as a child. She was no longer
a little girl, and for that he was glad. Really glad. Still,
the distance between them during her early teens had been so tough, and he
had feared that it was happening again. Seeing the real Christa shining
through again, and watching her become the person he knew so well was the
most beautiful thing to experience. The child he had loved had grown into the
most beautiful, mature, exciting woman he could have imagined. All he could
do was stare at her, willing himself to stay where
he was and not break the spell of the moment. Patrick's
smile melted her. How was it possible that without touching her, he could
make her stomach twist inside her, her heart ache to be in his arms? Never
could she have imagined that this man would mean so much to her. The friend
of her childhood, the mentor of her youth, this person who had played a part
in so much of her life, was now dearer to her than he had ever been. And he
was looking at her with a tenderness that made her whole body go weak. It was
completely unfair, she decided, that he could be so calm while she had to
endure such torture. As
if reading her mind, Patrick said, "You do terrible things to me, just
with your eyes." Then, breaking into a smile, he added, "I think
I'll have to wear some kind of protective goggles when I'm with you." Christa
laughed at a mental image of Patrick dressed in some silly scientist's coat,
eyeing her through tinted plastic lenses as if she were radioactive.
"Oh, you are funny, and it might be funnier if I didn't feel it so much,
too." Her groan matched his. She had never once in her life ended a sigh
with a groan, but this time she did. Being away from Patrick was horrible,
but being with him was pure agony. And that was the hard part--neither of
them wanted to be apart, and they couldn't stand to be together, either. Though
they didn't like it, they were both relieved that they only had four days to
be together. If he stayed any longer, they were afraid of spontaneous
combustion. How could one body--one heart and mind--endure so much emotion?
Knowing he had waited a whole year for this day helped Patrick try to relax,
take it slow, and just enjoy being near her. Still, the longer he looked at her the worse he felt. Was there any cure for this? Oh,
for the magic goggles that would allow him to gaze at her without such
longing! Sensing
that it was time to break their gaze and find something for them to do, he
suggested they go into the living room and see the family. "Part of me
would love to sit like this forever, but it's like I've been dying of thirst
and I jumped into a swirling river. It's too much for me right now." She
got up, holding his hand, and he was grateful for the smallest bit of
contact. Walking through the door into the great room, he found himself
praying for the strength to endure these four short days, knowing that he
would need these memories to get through the next year, but also aware that being
together made them feel as if they were falling through quicksand into
unknown territory. Knowing how much he loved her, remembering how these past
months had pained him, he determined to enjoy her company from now until he
left. For the sake of their love, Patrick would endure anything to be with
Christa. |
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