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THE POSSUM COUNTY DAILY FLAPDOODLE
Serving America - One Possum At A Time!

NO!! I WANT THE OLD JOKES!!! NOW!!!!

Just who's in charge here, anyway?
Dateline: December 16, 2000
AMERICA'S CORPORATE MEDIA CHIHUAHUAS STRIKE A BLOW FOR FREEDOM

Which cross do YOU bare?
In these, the darkest days for our sacred Democracy, who steps up to the plate as our White Knight? Don’t laugh - - it’s the Fifth Column in the Fourth Estate. Loving their profit margin more than the Fascist puppet they worked tirelessly to enthrone, the corporate media Chihuahuas have started a "pool" to count Florida’s undervotes! Among the sharks in this pool are The Miami Herald, The New York Times, New York Daily News, Los Angeles Times, and Time magazine. Other major outlets, including The Washington Post and CNN, are considering signing on as well. And the list of Chihuahuas is expected to keep growing.

Expect one or more of the following:
1.) Camp Smirk files frivolous lawsuit after frivolous lawsuit to "run out the clock" until Smirk’s coronation.
2.) The Scalia Five find some mysterious loophole in the First Amendment that applies only to the moment in human history when a pool of media sources might stumble across evidence that Al Gore won Florida which allows them to seal the ballots for 100 years, minimum.
3.) A mysterious fire/flood/hurricane localized in one police evidence locker/toxic waste spill/plague of locusts/herd of starving goats/spell of like really bad karma results in the Miami Dade ballots becoming impossible to read. Two mysterious figures described as "looking one Hell of a lot like Jeb Bush and Katherine Harris" will be seen fleeing the scene of the crime on a moped, but the Florida State Troopers will be unable to crack the case.

Book it.

The People's President is IN CHARGE of the Democratic Party!
In a more hopeful vein... notice how the Corporate Media Chihuahuas have been drumming the GOP spin that "Anybody But Al Gore" is the Democratic front-runner for 2004, implying that Gore’s popular vote win, capturing the largest number of votes of any Democratic Presidential candidate ever by proudly proclaiming at every opportunity that he was more boring than watching paint dry while being savaged by both his opponent and the media as a creature two steps to the left of Satan in the dirtiest campaign in American history -- that ended with over 50 million people vowing to work tirelessly until "their President", Al Gore, is given back the office that was stolen from him -- somehow makes Gore political poison? (HEL-LO!! GIMME A BREAK!!!) Well, our former friends at CNN.com report that Al is the man in 2004! Terry McAuliffe, the leading candidate for the DNC Chairmanship, took a meeting with Vice President Gore to get his backing.
And we quote: "One top Gore adviser predicted the vice president would line up behind (MCAuliffe), but another said Gore wanted assurances McAuliffe would not openly support a Gephardt presidential candidacy in 2004.

"McAuliffe and Gore have a good relationship, but McAuliffe raised money for Gephardt before signing on with Clinton in 1992."
‘Nuf said.


We agree with Tamara Baker 1200%!
NO JUSTICE, NO JUDGESHIPS!
Tell your Senators and Representatives
"NO MORE SCALIAS"!!



NEW POPULAR VOTE FIGURES HAVE BEEN RELEASED! GORE'S MARGIN OF VICTORY NOW MORE THAN ONE HALF MILLION!!
GORE 50,970,857 - - BUSH 50,432,874
Difference = 537,983
Funny how that kind of stuff happens when you count all the votes, isn't it?


Largest Number of Popular Votes Received (+4 million, rounded):
1.Ronald Reagan, 198454,455,000
2. . Al Gore, 2000 50,970,857


Most Votes Received By A First-Time Presidential Candidate (+7 million, rounded) :
1. .Al Gore, 2000 50,970,857
2. . Ronald Reagan, 1980 43,901,812


Most Votes Received By A Vice President Running For President (+ 7 million, rounded):
1. . Al Gore, 2000 50,970,857
2. .George Bush, 1988 43,901,812


Largest Positive Margin Of Votes Received In A Close Presidential Election:
1. .Al Gore, 2000 +530,000 (rounded)
2. . Richard Nixon, 1968 +272,415
3. .John F. Kennedy, 1960 +119,450


Note: All historic vote totals are from the National Archives.
(Original table complied by The Maverick Republican)


The Free People Of The United States
Salute The Heroic Actions of Senator John Breaux (D-LA)!


Senator Breaux, long rumored to be a top pick for Energy Secretary in a Bush II: The Nightmare Continues Administration, yesterday told His Fraudulency to take a long walk off a short gangplank attached to the Exxon Valdeez. Senator Breaux, the Free People of America salute you for remaining true to the 50-50 Senate split, the Democratic party and America! Email Senator Breaux and thank him personally for being a true Democrat!


"Hi. I'm not a Progressive Activist. But I play one on TV."
Hey, you Greenlicans! Yeah, both of you! Still think there's no difference between Gush and Bore? Click on the People's Quizling to the left for your daily dose of cold, hard reality!




HOW GREEN ARE YOU?
THE CARIBOU ARE SENDING OUT AN URGENT S.O.S!!
THE ARTIC NATIONAL WILDLIFE REFUGE IS IN TROUBLE! BIG TIME!


Satan says "I can smell the kickbacks already! Screw the caribou! Let’s drill!"
Just because Smirk’s Rent-a-brains STOLE the election with the help of American’s favorite unindited coconspirators, the Scalia Five, doesn’t mean we have to abandon Al’s excellent agenda. Did 50 million of us go Gore just because he was the most qualified person to EVER run for President, running on the issues against a GOP character-assassination-fest, playing by the rules while team Smirk kneecapped Democracy to the delight of all the corporate media chihuahuas, who rolled around in the stinking gutter, degrading our electoral process like no electoral process has ever been degraded before???

Well, okay... yeah, we did.

But that's not stopping Team Smirk from setting their sights on the Artic National Wildlife Refuge - - home to incredibly fragile caribou breeding grounds - - and the humans who depend on the caribou herd for their lives!

We at the Flapdoodle say – not so fast, Snippy! Email President Clinton (remember him?) and DEMAND he save the caribou from the clutches of Smirk and Company! DEMAND he designate the coastal plain of the Artic National Wildlife Refuge a National Monument!

And while you're at it, ask your Democratic Senators and Representatives to get off their donkey and lobby Clinton to save the caribou!


EXTRA, EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!!
NEW YORK TIMES RUNS SEVEN PAGES OF
REASONABLY UNBIASED GORE COVERAGE!
 (Yes, you THOUGHT you felt the world come to a screaming halt!)



Smirk says: "This is my bestest friend ever, Jimmy. Jimmy showed me how to play Donkey Kong. Jimmy showed me how to watch Pokemon cartoons on the computer! Jimmy showed me how to make a secure online contribution to the Gore-Lieberman Recount Committee. Jimmy said if that dumb Gore guy and that dumb Lieberman guy get enough money, I will never have to do any of the really hard President stuff, like uniting the country and restoring faith in honest elections. I told Jimmy to give two million dollars. That sounds like a lot, but it was Jebbie's Visa card."
Want to get that Partisan Rage GOING?? Read some of the back issues of the Senate's Republican Policy Committee Policy Papers!

Read about the extremely evil Al Gore, wasting your tax dollars and GIVING INTERNATIONAL TERRORISTS A HELPING HAND!

Read about how passing the Dingell-Norwood Patient’s Bill Of Rights would INCREASE CANCER DEATHS!!

Read how the THE DEMOCRATS ARE CAUSING ALL THE PARTISAN ILL-WILL ON THE HILL!!!

Read THE TRUTH about Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Joe Lieberman and the rest of the EVIL, EVIL Democrats - - even the Starr Report missed the RAW, UNVARNISHED TRUTH!!


Do me a favor. Post this gif file on your site:


and link it to: http://www.oocities.org/possumcounty/current.htm
It's not like I'm asking for money or anything - - yet.







Smirk Links! Visit links both comedic and serious about His Fraudulency, George the Second, Pretender To The Throne, unaffectionally known by us peasants as that Coke Snortin', Draft Dodgin' Granny Killer for Christ -- D. Dubya Smirk!


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The Fine Folks At Occidental Petroleum Remind You That They've Already Sunk A Ton Of Money Into This Election, So If You Must Vote, Vote For Their Guys.
Or Else They'll Steal Florida Right Out From Under The Smart Guy. Not Like There's Anything Fishy About That. Or Illegal. Nope. Nothing.


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"If You Don't Know About Cunninghamstrikes.com - -
You don't know Smirk About Comedy!"