Do me a favor. Post this gif file on your site:


and link it to: http://www.oocities.org/possumcounty/current.htm
It's not like I'm asking for money or anything - - yet.

THE POSSUM COUNTY DAILY FLAPDOODLE
Serving America - One Possum At A Time!

NO!! I WANT THE OLD JOKES!!! NOW!!!!

Just who's in charge here, anyway?
Dateline: November 28, 2000
DIVIDING THE UNITERS FROM THE DIVIDERS
(One of God's unforeseen paths/Reuters)

Last night, Democratic Presidential Candidate Vice President Al Gore (D-Sworn To Preserve And Protect The Constitution) showed the world once again why his high school class voted him "the person most likely to have some huge, neoclassical monument on the Washington Mall containing a sculpture six times bigger than life named after him."
Vice President Al Gore 11/27/2000: "Good evening. Thank you for taking the time to listen tonight.

Every four years, there is one day when the people have their say. In many ways the act of voting and having that vote counted is more important than who wins the majority of the votes that are cast. Because whoever wins, the victor will know that the American people have spoken with a voice made mighty by the whole of its integrity.

On that one day every four years, the poor as well as the rich, the weak as well as the strong, women and men alike, citizens of every race, creed and color, of whatever infirmity or political temper all are equal. They are equal, that is, so long as all of their votes are counted.

A vote is not just a piece of paper. A vote is a human voice, a statement of human principle, and we must not let those voices be silenced. Not for today, not for tomorrow, not for as long this nation’s laws and democratic institutions let us stand and fight to let those voices count.

If the people do not in the end choose me, so be it. The outcome will have been fair and the people will have spoken. If they choose me, so be it. I would then commit and do commit to bringing this country together. But whatever the outcome, let the people have their say. And let us listen.

Ignoring votes means ignoring democracy itself. And if we ignore the votes of thousands in Florida in this election, how can you or any American have confidence that your vote will not be ignored in a future election? That is all we have asked since election day: a complete count of all the votes cast in Florida. Not recount after recount, as some have charged, but a single full and accurate count. We haven’t had that yet.


Earlier in the day, the Democratic Leadership quashed the persistent rumors of party disunity and disapproval of Gore's protracted struggle for the Presidency by participating in an open conference call with Vice President Gore, Senator Lieberman and the media. Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle (D-SD) told the Vice President "The Corporate Media is totally wacked. The Party has your back, Bro." House Minority Leader Richard Gephardt (D-Mo), agreed vociferously, adding "Dude, we checked their fuzzy math and you won by like nine votes! Is that Smirk asshole like totally bogus or what?"
Great efforts have been made to prevent the counting of these votes. Lawsuit after lawsuit has been filed to delay the count and to stop the counting for many precious days between Election Day and the deadline for having the count finished. And this would be over long since except for those efforts to block the process at every turn. In one county, election officials brought the count to a premature end in the face of organized intimidation. In a number of counties, votes that had been fairly counted were simply set aside. And many thousands of votes that were cast on Election Day have not yet been counted at all. Not once.

There are some who would have us bring this election to the fastest conclusion possible. I have a different view. I believe our Constitution matters more than convenience. So, as provided under Florida Law, I have decided to contest this inaccurate and incomplete count in order to ensure the greatest possible credibility for the outcome. I agree with something Governor Bush said last night: we need to come together as a country to make progress. But how can we best achieve that? Our country will be stronger, not weaker, if our next President assumes office following a process that most Americans believe is fair. In all our hands now rests the future of America’s faith in our self-government.

The American people have shown dignity, restraint and respect as the process has moved forward. This is America, when votes are cast, we count them. We don’t arbitrarily set them aside because it’s too difficult to count them. In the end, in one of God’s unforeseen paths, this election may point us all to a new common ground, for its very closeness can serve to remind us that we are one people, with a shared history, and a shared destiny. So this extraordinary moment should summon all of us to become what we profess to be: one indivisible nation. Let us pledge ourselves to the ideal that the people’s will should be heard and headed and then together let us find what is best in ourselves and seek what is best for America.

Two hundred years from now, when future Americans study this Presidential election, let them learn that Americans did everything they could to ensure that all citizens who voted had their votes counted. Let them learn that democracy was ultimately placed ahead of partisan politics in resolving a contested election. Let them learn that we were indeed a country of laws.

Thank you. God bless you. And God bless America."




(This takes about 6 minutes to load, but after that, it runs at the speed it's meant to -- 60 seconds)




IT'S TIME FOR EVERYBODY'S FAVORITE GAME
COMPARE AND CONTRAST!!

Knowing that shortly he would have to plead his case before the American people in an address that would either justify his continued fight for the Presidency or pave the way for America to devolve into a brutal, hereditary fascist dictatorship, the Last Best Hope Of The Free People Of The United States interrupted his lunch to greet some surporters. Knowing that shortly he would have to plead his case before the American people in an address that would either justify his claim of being the legitimate President or pave the way for a lifetime in Federal prison, Smirk did his hysterical impersonation of a white knuckle drunk wishing to God he could ditch these losers and get totally smashed on Zima.




The Free People Of The United States
Salute The Heroic Actions of Vice President Al Gore (D-America)!


Despite being the victim of the six year long Ken Starr witch hunt and the GOP’s two year long "Al Gore Is A Big, Fat Liar" character assassination campaign, despite being kept from his rightful position as President Elect by an opponent who thinks nothing of violating the civil rights of thousands and hiring Rent-A-Nazis to fix an election, Vice President Gore has demanded his supporters refrain from any divisive, partisan display or rhetoric. He has worked quietly behind the scenes, keeping the Democratic party on the high road at all times - - and diffusing a situation that, in other times and places, has often escalated into civil war. Once elected, he has sworn to have a completely bipartisan administration, in order to heal the shattered nation. Vice President Gore doesn't just talk the talk, he walks the walk.

And even with all that responsibility, he still finds time to go to lunch with his soul mate and life partner of over thirty years, his wife Tipper, as well as their friends Joe and Haddassah Lieberman.



As a public service to everyone saddled with a dittohead in their lives who is claiming that Smirk won and Gore has no mandate, the Daily Flapdoodle liberally reprints the following letter from "The Maverick Republican" that we stole without permission from Bartcop.com’s letter page:


Subject: Facts Is Hard To Argue With If'n You Don't Use Fuzzy Math


Okay, here are the ‘hard numbers’ for the whacko right to chew on as they celebrate the anointing of the Texas WonderBoy to the highest office in the land:

According to the latest (11/25/00) numbers from USA Today, Gore has a vote total of 50,099,022 votes. That gives Gore about a 300,000-vote lead over BushBaby in the popular vote totals.

Only one other US presidential candidate in history has amassed more than 50 million popular votes – Ronald Reagan.

In his re-election bid in 1984, Reagan received 54,455,000 votes. Reagan also garnered the highest popular vote total ever as a first-time presidential candidate in 1980 by winning 43,901,812 votes – Almost 6 million votes LESS than Al Gore has gotten.

As for a Vice President running for the office of President, Gore outperformed then Vice President George Bush’s total in 1988 of 43,901,812 votes. (about 2 million votes more)

Gore also did better than Bill Clinton did in each of his runs for President. Clinton received 44,908,254 votes in 1992 and 45,590,703 votes in 1996.

In ‘landslide’ victories, Gore still received more than either Lynndon Johnson in 1964 (42,825,463 votes) and Richard Nixon’s 46,740,323 votes in 1972.

In close elections, Gore is the hands-down champion vote getter. In 1960, Kennedy won by only 119,450 votes over Richard Nixon. And Richard Nixon defeated Hubert Humphrey in 1968 by 272,415 votes.

In summation:

Largest Number of Popular Votes Received:
1.Ronald Reagan, 198454,455,000 (+4 million, rounded)
2. . Al Gore, 2000 . 50,099,022 . .

Most Votes Received By A First-Time Presidential Candidate:
1. . Al Gore, 2000 . 50,099,022 .(+6 million, rounded)
2. . Ronald Reagan, 1980 . 43,901,812 .

Most Votes Received By A Vice President Running For President:
1. . Al Gore, 2000 . 50,099,022. (+2 million, rounded)
2. . George Bush, 1988 . 43,901,812 .

Largest Positive Margin Of Votes Received In A Close Presidential Election:
1. . Al Gore, 2000 . +300,000 (rounded)
2. . Richard Nixon, 1968 . +272,415
3. . John F. Kennedy, 1960 . +119,450


Note: All historic vote totals are from the National Archives.

Compiled, with my compliments, by
The Maverick Republican



We believe EVERY Republican should be OUTRAGED that Governor Bush is using HIRED THUGS to force FLORIDA PUBLIC OFFICIALS to NEGLECT THEIR DUTY just to ensure that he FRADULENTLY MAINTAINS HIS MANUFACTURED LEAD IN FLORIDA. If Republicans truly are committed to the values they espouse, they should either defect to another party in protest (Democrat, Green, Reform, Libertarian, Socialist, Peace And Freedom... it doesn’t matter) or DEMAND their Senators and Representatives take back their party from the Extreme Right Wing.


Sign the petition!
ASK SMIRK TO SPEAK OUT AGAINST THE RENT-A-NAZI VIOLENCE
You, I and America know he won't. But we're Democrats. We gotta ask.



Ounce for ounce, one of the best dang quotes of the whole Florida flap:
"The right of the people to cast their vote is the paramount concern, overriding all others." --
The Florida State Supreme Court

Okay, so this quote is now a close second:
"The good news is yesterday was Sunday and the Republicans could not file another lawsuit." --
Rep. Peter Deutsch, D-Florida.



What happens when you ask Al to solve a problem?


Click on the picture above to find out!
Can't get to Florida to march with Jesse? Send a lawyer instead!
Contributions are being accepted for the legal battles against the Bush Brothers' Banana Hall Putsch!

Make your personal check payable to "THE GORE/LIEBERMAN RECOUNT COMMITTEE". There is NO LIMIT to how much you can contribute. However, your donation will be reported to the Federal Elections Commission, so be sure to include your occupation and employer (if applicable) on the "note" area of your check.

Send your check to:

ATTN: Recount Committee
c/o the Democratic National Committee
430 S. Capital St. S.E.
Washington, DC
20003



SMIRK THINKS HE FIXED THE FLORIDA ELECTION
SMIRK'S HIRING RENT-A-PHOTO-OP NAZIS
TO INTIMIDATE THE PRESIDENT YOU CHOSE
(EVEN THOUGH WE'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO
MENTION THAT PART ABOUT AL BEATING SMIRK
IN THE POPULAR VOTE ANYMORE).
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT
POPULAR VOTE LOOSER SMIRK?

AL'S DAY IN D.C. UPDATE: The Last, Best Hope of the Free People of the United States and Senator Lieberman share a laugh over Richard Gephardt and Tom Daschle's zany banter. After Daschle's hysterical "What If Klingons Had Written The 1883 Pendelton Act?" routine, Gephardt started in on his legendary "The Top Ten Reasons Why The 1948 Interstate Weights And Measures Clarification Act Should Be Updated To Reflect Current Transportation Issues Pertaining Specifically To The Commercial Poultry Industry". I don't have to tell you things got a little crazy after that!
DON'T LET THE RENT-A-PHOTO-OP NAZIS WIN THE PR BATTLE: My understanding is that there will be pro-Democracy, anti-Bush coup rallies every Saturday, to protest Smirk’s fuzzy vote count in Florida and his bogus claim that he won the Presidency already so we don’t need to see if anybody’s civil rights were violated in Florida. Click here to stay updated on participating cities and their protest locations.

Write, phone or email your Senators and Congressional Representatives -- tell them how you feel about the Florida election and what you think needs to be done to pick the next President! Especially if they are Republicans, let them know how you feel about Smirk hiring Rent-A-Nazis to force America to accept him as President! Let them know how you feel about the way Jeb runs THOUSANDS of black voters out of Florida's polls!

Al’s back in DC, on the job! Email the Last, Best Hope Of The Free People of The United States and tell him how you feel about his fight against the fascist menance, as well as Florida’s vote fraud and its civil rights abuses! Get specific! It’s Al!

Don’t forget to tell Joe what you think! After all, he’s in this fight, too!

Why has the fifth column in the fourth estate insisted that Al concede an election that isn’t over - - especially one so obviously rotten with voter fraud? WHY ISN'T THE RENT-A-NAZI STORY THE TOP STORY OF EVERY NEWS CAST?? WHERE'S THE COVERAGE OF THE THOUSANDS OF BLACK VOTERS IN FLORIDA THAT WHERE KEPT OUT OF THE POLLS BY THE POLICE?? Give those weasels a piece of your mind!





Smirk Links! Visit links both comedic and serious about America's favorite Coke Snortin', Draft Dodgin' Granny Killer for Christ -- D. Dubya Smirk!



Don't forget to visit "Gore-in-context", your one stop shop for debunking urban legends about Vice President Gore!
There are other ways to find this page, but here is the day I lost hope we'd ever beat the Smirks of this world. Thanks to everyone who offered their comfort and support.
Click here for your October Surprise Update!
(Link Updated On 10/14!)
I'm Mad As Hell And I'm Not Going To Take It Any More! (Updated on 10/22 -- We take on CNN!)



The Fine Folks At Occidental Petroleum Remind You That They've Already Sunk A Ton Of Money Into This Election, So If You Must Vote, Vote For Their Guys.
Or Else They'll Steal Florida Right Out From Under The Smart Guy. Not Like There's Anything Fishy About That. Or Illegal. Nope. Nothing.


Read yesterday's Flapdoodle!
Read tomorrow's Flapdoodle!
Talk To The Possum!
Return To Possum County!




THE REVIEWS ARE IN!!

Thanks to Kevin@Cunninghamstrikes.com - - King Of The Phototoon!!

"If You Don't Know About Cunninghamstrikes.com - -
You don't know Smirk About Comedy!"