The Daily Flapdoodle

AN EMERGENCY CALL TO ARMS
WE HAVE ONE LAST CHANCE
TO STOP SMIRK'S COUP BEFORE IT STARTS

Democrats.com, the first online community for all us 100 million Democrats, is gathering evidence of official misconduct and deliberate fraud in the Florida presidential election. With the more than $25,000 contributed so far, they've hired lawyers and investigators and begun their own investigation of several extremely disturbing allegations.

Democrats.com needs our help! They urgently need us to call our Senators and Representatives IMMEDIATELY and urge them to vote to reject Florida's 25 Electors on January 6th! Democratic Senators are ESPECIALLY needed so if you have one, call your Dem Senator FIRST!

And please contribute to this extremely worthwhile cause. If you can contribute even $10, your support will show the Democratic Party that there is one more person who demands that they stand up and fight for freedom.

Learn all about this exciting campaign to uncover the truth about Florida's election! Click here to read Democrats.com's email! Copy it and send it on to all your friends! This is "do or die" time folks - - Democracy won't survive without our help!

(For more info on this campaign, click here to see a copy of their FAQ page.)

Click Here For AlGoreWon.org

Vice President Gore has sent you a gift for the holiday or holidays appropriate to your Faith Tradition or Faith Traditions, if any.
Click here (and scroll all the way down) to see your present!

THE POSSUM COUNTY DAILY FLAPDOODLE
Serving America - One Possum At A Time!

NO!! I WANT THE OLD JOKES!!! NOW!!!!

Just who's in charge here, anyway?

Dateline: January 2, 2001
HAVE A NICE HOLIDAY OR HOLIDAYS APPROPRIATE TO YOUR FAITH TRADITION OR FAITH TRADITIONS, IF ANY? GET PLENTY OF REST? GOOD. 'CAUSE NOW IT'S TIME TO KICK SMIRK'S FASCIST ASS.


I have absolutely no reason to run this picture here other than it shows the rightful President and First Lady and is 100% A. Dubya Oil-Free.

I have to admit that, since I have been on vacation, I have been intentionally avoiding the majority of Smirk coverage, just because I wanted to have some small part of the post December 12th, 2000 part of the space time continuum NOT filled with blinding rage.

But one of the "interesting" things that I have seen is this theoretically "smooth" transition D. Dubya is having, is that the D.C. police are expecting the biggest inaugural protest EVER, planning for AT LEAST 750,000 non-violent protesters to drop by Smirk’s lovely little coronation (and that estimate doesn’t include those of us who can't get to the main event in D.C., so will be protesting in other cities - - or those unable to reach any protest so are simply wearing black armbands and driving with their headlights on). And what do we hear from the Democratic leadership (read Dick "Not To Trusted Out Of Your Sight" Gephardt and Tom Daschle) as the nation gears up to protest Smirk’s coup? Two words: radio silence. A lot of the discussion on the Dem e-lists is wondering whether this quiet on the part of the Democratic leadership is them being total chickens, or simply the calm before the storm.

Since we won’t know what the DL is up to until January 6th, I thought I’d give my suggestions for how America's last legitimate President and Vice President could liven up the transition and coronation ceremonies - - purely in the interests of Democracy, of course.

BILL AND AL'S EXCELLENT AGENDA
FOR SMIRK'S CORONATION


*"No, no, no. You ring* the doorbell, then you run. There's not supposed to be anybody there when the door gets opened. See, that's why it's funny."**

1.) Get some of that REALLY indestructible black spray paint and decorate every interior wall of the Naval Observatory with "GET OUT OF JOE LIEBERMAN’S HOUSE!"

2.) Make sure the nuclear football is replaced by a nerf football. When asked by Dick Cheney where the nuclear football is, look at each other in panic and say "I thought YOU had it!"

3.) Call Domino’s pizza and order enough pies to feed the protesters - - but charge it to the U.S. Supreme Court. When the Domino’s clerk asks who’s placing the order, lie and say "Jeb Bush".

4.) Pass McCain/Feingold by January 19th.

5.) For the coronation parade itself: Get really boss Harleys and menacingly circle Smirk’s limo all the way to the ceremony. Al should pop a few wheelies in front of the CNN camera crew, just for effect. (For an even more terrifying look, wear faux leather jackets with "Hillary’s Hubby Bubba" and "The People’s POTUS" on the backs.)

6.) Make sure Smirk is seated at every function between Ted Kennedy and Betty Ford.

"Bullseye! I told you, if you adjust for drift, wind velocity and relative humidity, a banana cream pie can strike Target A, which in this instance would be Smirk, at a sixty two degree angle and at least forty percent of the meringue will remain intact and continue on to splatter Target B, which in this instance would be Scalia." "Well, dip me in gravy and call me Aunt Minnie! Race you to the Piggy Wiggly bakery for more ammo!"

7.) Revive the inaugural tradition dating back to James Madison where the outgoing administration puts on Groucho glasses and assaults the incoming administration with banana cream pies. On CNN.

8.) Before leaving for the parade, remove all the light bulbs and toilet paper from the White House and the Naval Observatory.

9.) When Smirk gets to the part in the oath of office where he swears to protect and defend the constitution, have Bill burst into uncontrollable laughter for at least five minutes.

10.) Tell Ralph Nader he can have that Attorney General position Smirk promised him for sabotaging the Gore campaign. Give him a set of keys to the West Wing. Tell him to show up for work at 9 a.m. sharp January 21st and hold a press conference to announce his new position.

"I think that the greatest problem (America faces today) is the fact that we need more meaning in our national life. We need more people to believe in this country and to believe in our ability as a people to make it what it’s supposed to be. This country is what we make it and we have the power, because of our freedom, but there are a lot of people who kind of stay arms length from the political process, because, you know, it’s "politics". And it is "politics", but we can change "politics" if we have enough people who are willing to push past the fear of disillusionment and disappointment and do what our Founders did and what each generation has done in really seizing the opportunity to make this country what it’s supposed to be." Vice President Al Gore, September 12, 2000.

Okay, so what are you doing to make this country what it's supposed to be? Reading about nature's noblest of creatures, the Possum? Well, one can hardly blame you for that. Fascinatin' critters, them Possums. But there are some more... shall we say productive ways to use the 'Net (Thank you Al, for giving us the Internet!) to restore Democracy.

Consider signing up to the following Democratic activist e-groups:

US Democrats and its companion state lists. (Information about joining the state lists are at this same site.)

"This egroup, along with 60 other democratic egroups (1 for each state and territory) give democrats the ability to join together in state groups as well as discuss national issues."

Dem-florida-strategy. Don't let the name fool you. It is a VERY topical, very busy list, full of all kinds of information about all kinds of actions.

And, for a limited time only:

Are you one of the over 50 million Americans who voted for Tipper's husband? Want to let her know you appreciate what she's done for his career? Want to let her know that she would make a way completely and totally better First Lady than Laura Bush ever could in like, a gazillion years? Then join "FlowersForTipper" - - a short term e-group with a goal of getting THOUSANDS of flowers delivered to Tipper Gore immediately before Smirk's coronation.

Why? Because this is a P.R. war folks, and most Americans don't have access to the Internet to learn they are not alone in their opposition to Smirk! Help lift up the spirits of your fellow countrymen who are Internet-challenged! Click on the "Flowers For Tipper" graphic and sign up!

GET READY TO HAVE YOUR BLOOD PRESSURE SHOOT THROUGH THE ROOF

Al Gore gained 120 MORE votes in the Tampa Tribune's recount of Hillsborough County's 5,533 machine-rejected votes. That brings his lead to 260!!

YES, THAT'S 260 MORE VOTES THAN SMIRK GOT - - IN THE ENTIRE STATE OF FLORIDA.

THAT WE KNOW ABOUT.

SO FAR.

Which side are you on?
Well, well, well... knock me over with a feather. There's mounting evidence of GOP arranged voter fraud against African-Americans, not just in Florida, but in Illinois and -- shock of all shocks -- Tennessee! (Didn't you just KNOW Team Smirk had fixed Tennessee, since they made such a big deal out of Al loosing his home state, even before the $election?)

I have also seen passing mention made of vote fraud in the poorer (read mainly African-American) precincts in Georgia, where people were given punch card ballots where the holes did not line up with the tray that holds them. The voter would punch "Gore" but the misalignment would cause "Bush" box to get punched. I have not seen any supporting web pages or articles for this accusation, however.

Click on the image to the left to see a sample letter to former President Jimmy Carter, asking him to get involved in any "reasonable, thoughtful and thorough" investigation of the Florida vote fraud. An excellent idea, which the Possum County Editorial Board endorces wholeheartedly. (And while former President Carter's nosing around, he might want to take a peek at the hijinks in Illnois, Tennessee and his home state!)

ON DECEMBER 19TH, SMIRK MET AL FOR A BREIF, PRIVATE CONVERSATION.
WHAT DO YOU THINK AL AND SMIRK TALKED ABOUT
FOR FIFTEEN WHOLE MINUTES?
PLAY OUR EXCLUSIVE INTERACTIVE GAME!

FROM THE "I DON’T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CRY" DEPARTMENT

Now that America has finally gotten a chance to see Smirk’s "Compassionate Conservatism" in action, now the Corporate Media Attack Chihuahuas have stopped smearing Al 24/7 and actually focused on other victims for a solid week, guess what the latest polls have discovered? Why - - Al Gore is popular with voters! Did you know his approval rating is back up to 57%? In fact, early December was THE ONLY TIME IN GORE'S POLITICAL CAREER THAT HIS APPROVAL RATING WAS LESS THAN 50%!!!! (Gosh, thanks for telling us that last October during the "Gore Lies" debacle! And "The Greens Will Steal The Election From Gore" farce! And think how much less stressful November and December might have been if we'd known that piddling little detail during the FREAKING ELECTION AND ITS AFTERMATH!!)

Ready to be TOTALLY vindicated? According to this poll, if the 2004 election were held today, the results would be:

VICE PRESIDENT GORE	50%
PRESIDENT $ELECT BUSH	41%

Yep... that’s Al over Smirk by NINE percent... And currently the Democrats with a preference want Al to run in 0-4, by a 6 to 1 margin.

The corporate media Chihuahuas running this poll are quick to point out that THIS poll means nothing, because THESE people might not fit the LIKELY VOTER PROFILE (read: they might actually NOT be white and therefor NINE PERCENT OF THEIR VOTE MIGHT JUST GET IGNORED OR SOMETHING... )

Yeah... I don’t know WHY all those stupid Democrats want to run AL GORE again!

Do me a favor. Post this gif file on your site:

and link it to: http://www.oocities.org/possumcounty/current.htm
It's not like I'm asking for money or anything - - yet.

Smirk Links! Visit links both comedic and serious about His Fraudulency, George the Second, Pretender To The Throne, unaffectionally known by us peasants as that Coke Snortin', Draft Dodgin' Granny Killer for Christ -- D. Dubya Smirk!

We are becoming like so way totally popular! Visit our close personal virtual friends:

The Fine Folks At Occidental Petroleum Remind You That They've Already Sunk A Ton Of Money Into This Election, So If You Must Vote, Vote For Their Guys.
Or Else They'll Steal Florida Right Out From Under The Smart Guy. Not Like There's Anything Fishy About That. Or Illegal. Nope. Nothing.

Talk To The Possum!
Return To Possum County!

THE REVIEWS ARE IN!!

Thanks to Kevin@Cunninghamstrikes.com - - King Of The Phototoon!!

"If You Don't Know About Cunninghamstrikes.com - -
You don't know Smirk About Comedy!"