Title: Lost (1/1)

Author: QueenC

Feedback: Yes! Please! Gimme, gimme, gimme! *g*

Rating: PG  (warning!  Character death!)

Pairing: Dawn/Connor; mentions Angel/Cordelia and Buffy/Spike

Summary: A wedding and some reflections on the past.

Spoilers: Nothing, really.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Never said I did. Joss owns all. Please don't sue.

Author's Notes: This was written in response to a challenge on the site 'Unnatural'. Basically, the fic is supposed to be a POV piece, taking place six years in the future, at Dawn and Connor's wedding. There were some other requirements as well, but I'm not going to tell you them because it would ruin the story. So, enjoy!




******

"Son, it's almost time."

As I hear my father's soft voice coming from the doorway, I glance past my reflection in the full-length mirror in front of me to his. It's still strange, seeing his image like that, knowing that he's now human. He has a genuine smile on his face and I think about how white his teeth look in contrast with his now tan skin. He slowly begins walking up behind me and I avert my gaze back to my current dilemma.

"I can't do this," I say quietly, my fingers frantically fumbling with the bow tie on my tuxedo shirt. I hear his breath catch and I look back up, my eyes locking with his.

"Connor," he says slowly, and I know that he's trying not to anger me. It's funny, really. It's been six years since I returned from Quortoth and trapped him in that box. Yet, there are times that he seems almost afraid that I still hate him, that I'll attack him and run if he pushes me too far. I watch as his lips move and I have to force myself to listen to what he's saying.

"I know that this is frightening. When I married Cordelia, I was terrified. But, you *can* do this."

I frown, not understanding what he means. Then, realization hits me and I laugh. "No," I exclaim, turning around to face him. "I meant the tie. I can't get it straight."

He stares at me for a moment and I watch as the relief washes over him. Chuckling softly, he shakes his head. "Here," he offers, replacing my now cramped fingers with his own. "Let me help."

As he messes with the black material, I focus on the buttons on my jacket sleeves. Once we're both finished, he takes a step back and just stares at me, an unreadable look on his face.

"What?" I ask, fighting the urge to run my fingers through my hair. "What's wrong?"

My father shakes his head, smiling once more. "I just can't believe that you're about to get married," he answers, suddenly pulling me to him in a hug. "I'm so proud of you, Connor," he whispers, his warm breath tickling the back of my neck.

I return the hug, reluctantly pulling away. "I love you too, dad," I say. Then, I smile nervously. "I guess we should go out there, huh?"

He nods and we turn, walking out of the room. As we enter the hallway leading to the wedding party, I see Spike leaning against the wall, smoke billowing around him from the cigarette that dangles from his lips. I smile at him and he nods, standing up straight.

"It's about bloody time," he snaps, "I was beginning to think I was going to have to come in there." To an outsider, the peroxide blonde would sound rude. However, I can see the smirk he's trying to fight and I know he's only being himself.

"Yeah, well, you know us, Spike," my father says, winking at me. "We had to make sure that our hair was in place."

Spike rolls his eyes, groaning softly. "Bugger off, Peaches," he replies, stomping out his cigarette. Then, he looks at me. "Better get in there. Don't want to keep everyone waiting."

I nod, taking a deep breath. I cast one last glance towards the bride's room, wondering if my fiancé is ready. Then, I smile at my father and we head into the chapel.

As my father and I take our places at the end of the aisle, I let my gaze wonder over the crowd that’s sitting there. Fred is sitting between Cordelia and Wesley, a bright smile on her face, and Lorne is sitting on the end. They make up my family and I love them all. However, I can't help but feel a pang of sadness as I remember the one member of our group that's absent.

Charles Gunn was one of the greatest people that I have ever known. He was funny, smart, brave, and a true friend. I think back to the last time that I saw him, a lump forming in my throat. The Powers That Be had sent Cordelia a vision about a group of vampires that had set up a liar on the south side of LA. Normally, vampires weren't something to cause alarm. After all, my father used to be one, I'm the offspring of two, and the rest of the group had been fighting them for a long time. However, this group was different.

The head of this group had gotten a hold of a spell, the same spell that had been used on the Ring of Amara and was now invincible. To make matters worse, he had used the spell on at least two hundred of his own minions, making the task of defeating them seem nearly impossible.

My father had decided that we would wait and try to find a counter spell. However, those plans changed when the vamps attacked us and took Fred. They told us that they would release her in exchange for "the miracle child".

Against my father's wishes, I left the hotel and sough them out, intending on turning myself over to them. However, Gunn followed me. He burst into the warehouse, wrapped in explosives, and ordered me to take Fred and run. Once she and I were safely away, I turned to go back and help him, only to watch as the building exploded.

It's been two years since Gunn gave his life for Fred's and mine. That night, I made a vow to live my life to the fullest in honor of him. Everyday since, I've kept that promise. I only hope that one day I'll be half the man that he was.

I'm dragged from my morbid thoughts by the sound of the organ. Blinking away the tears in my eyes, I turn to the back of the room just as the doors open.

The bridesmaids begin to file down the aisle, each taking their positions across from me. Then, the music swells, everyone stands, and I'm unable to see anything else besides the beauty that's slowly coming towards me.

Her long brown hair is piled high on her head with a few curled pieces framing her face. Her blue eyes shine with unshed tears, masked by the flowing veil that's perched on her head and covering her face. I know that I should look at the dress, that she'll probably ask me about it later. However, I can't seem to take my eyes off her perfect face.

She finally reaches me and I hear the minister ask who is giving her away. Spike quickly announces from his position at her side that he and her sister are. I can see Buffy nod in agreement from the corner of my eye. I also notice that both Anya and Willow are already wiping the tears from their eyes, with Xander working extra hard to supply them both with the tissues. However, my attention quickly turns back to my bride as she links hands with me, Spike fading into the background.

I peer into her face and notice that her smile has dimmed ever so softly. That's when I know that she's wishing Giles was here. Because, as much as she cares for Spike, I know that she had always assumed that the man who she considered her father would be the one to walk her down the aisle.

As the ceremony begins, I idly wonder if perhaps this was too soon. Not because I question my love for her, or because I fear that she may not love me. No, the only thing I'm concerned about is that we're attempting to assuage the loss that we all feel by rushing this wedding. After all, it was just six short months ago that we all nearly lost our lives. Just half a year since Giles, in fact, did.

I still have nightmares about it. I'm surrounded by demons, fighting for my life. I feel the ground begin to tremble and I know that we're going to be too late. The Hellmouth is beginning to open.

As I attempt to defend myself, I risk a quick glance around. My father and Spike are fighting back to back, moving as if one. It's at that moment that I realize just how they had become known as the Scourge's of Europe. I turn from them to Buffy, Willow, and Xander. They all seem to be doing all right, considering that two of them are mere humans. Finally, my gaze lands on the small circle that we're all fighting to protect. Giles, Wesley, Anya, and Cordelia are sitting down, holding hands and chanting repeatedly. I can see the green swirls of magic around them, but I know that they're all struggling to concentrate.

Suddenly, I feel a sharp pain in my side. I slump to the ground, glancing at the wound. One of the demons towers over me, his claws dripping my blood. I watch as he raises his arm to deliver the final blow and it seems as if time stands still. I hear my father screaming my name, yet I know that he'll be too late. I close my eyes, prepared to meet my fate. Then, the demon's body collapses on top of me, a sword sticking from its back.

Shoving it off, I lock eyes with the person who saved my life. Dawn.

She smiles, extending her hand and I take it, getting to my feet. As I pick my weapon back up, I feel my blood run cold at the scream that erupts from within her. I look around, and terror washes over me.

One of the demons has broken through the line. He reaches for Cordelia, somehow sensing that she is the most powerful of the four in the circle. However, before he can reach her, Giles is on his feet and standing in the way.

He yells at the others to continue the spell, that it must be completed or the Hellmouth will open. Then, he's grabbed by the demon, his neck instantly snapping.

I blink, a chill washing over me at the image embedded in my mind. Although I was never very close to Rupert Giles, I know that he deserved to meet a better demise than that. However, we did win the battle, closing the Hellmouth permanently. Therefore, I guess his sacrifice wasn't in vain.

Suddenly, I hear the preacher asking if she'll take me as her husband and I know that the moment I've waited for has finally arrived. I look into her eyes, holding my breath as I wait for her answer

She smiles at me, tears streaming down her face, and whispers the words that make my heart feel as if it will burst.

"I do."

A few moments later, I repeat the same phrase. Then, I raise her veil and peer into the face of the only woman I've ever loved. As I kiss my wife, I try to remember when, exactly, I fell in love with her. When I lost myself in all that she was.

Perhaps it was the first time that we sparred together, when I realized that she was the closest thing to an equal that I had ever encountered. Maybe it was the first time we kissed and the rest of the world faded away. Or, possibly it was during our first fight. I had been so terrified that I was going to lose her that I couldn't imagine life without her.

Once again, I'm analyzing too much. I know perfectly well when I fell in love with her. It was the first time that we met.

She walked into the Hyperion Hotel, smiled brightly, and said, "Hi. I'm Dawn Summers. You must be Connor. It's nice to meet you." And, I was lost.


~THE END~

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