The New Adventures of Prissy McPrisspriss
Chapter 2 - Always Listen To Prissy
Its night, a young woman is standing alone in an unlit field, a full moon is slowly beginning to rise in the sky, to the average passerby she looks like a regular girl, but if you looked just a bit closer you could see that this average girl looks spectacular bathed in the yellow moonlight, dressed up in her stunningly beautiful battlegear is in fact the one, the only, the magnificent, Prissy McPrisspriss.
"Ah that was another beautiful sunset" sings out Prissy's glorious voice. "Well I guess its time to get rolling."
Suddenly a man’s voice calls out from behind her, "There you are!"
Prissy gracefully acts quickly and swings into a battle position. She then sees her attacker and instantly relaxes. "Oh it’s only you....err that is to say," Prissy puts on her heroine voice "Can I help you stranger?"
Yeah you guessed it, it was that guy.
"Prissy, come on enough of these games" he says with an annoyed expression
"What games sir?...hehe" Prissy says nervously while glancing around trying to find an exit.
"Prissy" that guy says sternly. "I know, its you"
"B-b-but...oh fine!" Prissy says dropping the act. No Prissy it could be a trap! "You've figured it out, I am your friend Prissy McPrisspriss, but can I ask how you figured it out."
"Hmm where to begin, first you don't wear a mask."
Prissy waves her hand dismissively "Who needs a mask when people are stupid?"
"Ah, fine... Second, your regular name and your super heroine name-"
"Superhero name, there's no need to make a distinction between male and female superheroes, that's extra-visibility."
"Right, superhero" he says rolling his eyes "Anyway they are both exactly the same."
"Well, how many superheroes do that?"
"None"
"So wouldn't using the exact same name as my undercover mode be way too easy to figure out? So the evil peoples will never think to look there. So that one doesn't count, there must be another"
"Huh? Undercover mo-" he shakes his head "anyway, finally you keep telling me about all you adventures from when you first became a moon warrior"
"Moon warrior? That's a funny way to put it, I always called me a were-heroine, well I don't ever remember me ever telling you about my adventures, but since there could be no other reason I'll have to take your word for it"
"Argh forget it, the point is I know, and you know I know. Keep it that way" I don't like how this guy is talking to the wondrous Prissy. "So lets go check out that ware- what are you wearing?" he says looking at her funny.
Prissy brushes down her battlegear "This is my battlegear" she says defensively
"That’s your battlegear?!" he asks incredulously. "That’s the fan-cay wondrous battlegear of yore?"
"Yes" Prissy says matter-of-factly
"Prissy, I hate to break it to you, but black choir dresses aren't battlegear"
"Look you!" she says poking a finger in his face "This is my battlegear, and it IS fan-cay and maybe tonight you will see why! End of discussion!" Go Prissy!
"Ok ok, hands in air backing slowly away" he says not doing either of things he just said. "Are we gonna go check out the warehouse or not?"
"Alright!" Prissy says back in her happy mode "Lets get rolling"
And so Prissy drops to her knees, places her hands square on the ground, lifts up her legs over her head, gravity then takes over and pulls her legs back down to the ground in front of her, causing her back to rub against the ground, until she is back in the starting position, she then takes a bite out of the grass beneath her and then repeats the process, all in a matter of seconds. Now that she has a motion going she begins to have fun, and shouts out "WEEEE" every time she rolls over, and chomps the ground for more grass and again and again and again.
"Ah Prissy. What are you doing?" the guy says walking beside her. Prissy stops what she's doing, spits out a wad of grass, looks up at him and says matter-of-factly "Rolling on the grass. Then chomping it"
"Yeah I see that" he says nervously "Why?"
"What do you mean why?" she says with a hint of annoyance in her voice "Must you question everything I do? This is what I do, and you should to unless you want trouble"
"Is that a threat? You know what, I can check out the warehouse myself, I'll see there, if you ever make it that is..." And with that he walks off into the known.
"It wasn't a threat" Prissy sighs, she shrugs it off and continues towards the warehouse.
WEEEE CHOMP WEEEE CHOMP WEEEE CHOMP
Oh look at that Prissy rolling there, isn't she just fabulous? Hmm as much as I hate to leave Prissy's presence it may be best to see what the oh-so-guilty Mr. Hanger and Miss Beach are up to...
Mr. Hanger and Miss Beach are sitting at what looks like a security station for their new warehouse. Mr. Hanger is dressed like a typical business man, plain suit and tie. He's staring intently at the collection of monitors which show various sections of the warehouse. Next to him, is the mysterious Miss Beach who is dressed as she was earlier, the same brown suit dress ensemble that many business women wear, her blonde hair is in a tight bun, she's currently adjusting her glasses. Oh yeah, these people are so evil its sick!
"Miss Beach" Mr. Hanger turns on his chair to look at her. "Have you finished the job?"
"Yes sir." She mock salutes him "Everything is ready for our 'guest'."
"Good. Good." he says rubbing his hands together. "It’s all falling into place"
Miss Beach stands up urgently "Sir someone is approaching the warehouse" She points to a monitor, and they see a figure approaching the outside camera. Oh it’s that guy again. What a surprise…
"Hey that's that kid from earlier today, what is he doing here?" he asks, annoyed.
"Well sir, it appears he's trying to break into the warehouse and thwart our plans."
"Great. Just great. Now he's going to fall into the trap that's not meant for him, and we are gonna have to reset the trap all over again."
Sure enough on the same screen, that guy is walking towards the door when the ground suddenly opens up from under him and he falls through into their trap.
"Damn it!" He pounds the desk with his fist "Miss Beach? See to it that the trap is reset. I'll go deal with Sherlock"
"Right away sir!" she mock salutes him again and with that Miss Beach strolls out of the room, she casts a glance back at him and then she's gone.
Mr. Hanger descends the staircase that leads into the basement of the warehouse. Light from the full moon is pouring in through the small windows near the ceiling, casting the basement in an eerie glow.
"Young man." He begins, nearing the end of the staircase. "You are wasting my time. Yet again"
That guy looks up from inside the cage he fell into. "What do you want from me?"
"Excuse me?" Mr. Hanger asks incredulously. "You were trying to sneak into my warehouse. So I think the question is: What do you want from me?"
That guy was at a loss for words. "Uh....you're a bad guy....and I came to......stop you?"
Mr. Hanger approaches the cage annoyed "And what on earth gave you that idea?"
"But...but......Prissy said....."
Mr. Hangers head jerked to attention "Prissy? You know Prissy? As in the Prissy McPrisspriss?"
"Yeah. What's the big deal?"
"Oh, everything my friend, everything." He puts his hand on the bars and pulls in as close as physically possible. "Now I don't suppose you can tell me her secret identity could you?"
"Huh? You met her today no more than 10 hours ago"
"Really? And who was that? Do tell."
"Umm hello? Remember that girl who was with me? Prissy McPrisspriss?"
"You mean that annoying girl who happens to share the same name and look exactly like the moon warrior Prissy McPrisspriss?"
"YES!" that guy shouts exasperated
Mr. Hanger thinks about this new info for a moment then pushes off from the bars. "That's absurd. It's too easy. Prissy would never do that. No she is far more cunning then that, her disguise would be incredibly elaborate. Like that old lady who hangs out in front of the bank feeding birds. Hmmm" he pulls out a Dictaphone from his pants pocket and proceeds to talk into it. "Note: Investigate old women in front of bank to see if she is really Prissy.” Cliff paused then added. “And buy more bread"
That guy is flabbergasted "Oh dear god..." he sits down suddenly.
"I can see that you will not tell me who Prissy's undercover mode is, no matter how much I flabbergast you and torture you." He turns to walk away and proceeds up the stairs. "But. I have another use for you," his eyes sparkle in the moonlight as a plan formulates in his head. "Night." he reaches the top and presses a button where the light switch should be. And walks out shutting the door.
That stupid guy is rocking back and forth whispering quietly to himself "No it can't be true. No..." unaware of the sleeping gas seeping into the room from beneath him.
"Wakey, wakey"
That guy opens up his eyes at the sound of Mr. Hanger's voice. "Huh? Where am I?" he asks in a sleepy daze.
"Why, you're where you wanted to be, my warehouse." He steps out of that guy’s line of site, to reveal a large open room that's big enough to hold a basketball court, it is completely empty except for nine speakers that line each wall, and a large steel cage in the back right corner of the room. There is a ladder on the back wall that leads up to a small room overlooking the warehouse, in the opposite corner to the cage. Opposite the ladder, at the front of the warehouse, is the only door in the warehouse. Both of them are watching that door.
"How long was I out for?" that guy asks regaining his voice.
"Oh about 10 minutes"
"What do you want me for?"
"Well you see, you are the bait and Prissy is the fish. I wish to use you to lure Fishy..er..Prissy here."
"Why?"
"Well-"
"The trap has been reset Cliff" Miss Beach says as she walks in through the door.
"Your names Cliff?" that guy asks dryly
"Y-yes"
"And your last names Hanger?" a grin forms on his face "Why you must have been beaten up a lot."
"Quiet you." Cliff turns to Miss Beach. "Now look what you've done Shelly"
That guy bursts out laughing. "Oh this is too much, Shelly BEACH!? Oh, no wonder you guys are evil"
"You know what?" Cliff turns to that guy menacingly "I think I am going to torture you now, just for fun"
"Oooh. What a you" that guy says happily now that he has the upper hand
"Can I hit him?" Shelly asks taking off her glasses
"No I have something much more devastating in mind" he reaches into his pocket and pulls out a stereo remote. He aims it at the room above him, and pushes play.
The speakers around the room begin to pulse. That guy looks around wearily. Then suddenly the most excruciatingly irritating music ever heard by human kind booms out of the convenient thirty six speakers.
"YOU INHUMAN MONSTER!!!" that guy screams over the horrid music.
Cliff looks at him and just points to his ears, shaking his head to indicate the fact that he can't hear him.
"MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!" that guy drops to his knees with his hands over his ears.
Finally, after what seems like an eternity, Cliff turns the music off. The warehouse falls into an eerie silence once again.
"Had enough....err...what's your name?"
"Oh thank you, thank you. I'll tell you anything, just don't play that aga- Huh? My name? Oh its-"
BANG!! Everyone turns to face the doorway to see none other than Prissy McPrisspriss standing there, moonlight streaming in behind her. "Alright. Whose ass do I have to kick?"