| t h e t r i p |
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| ....................vvvvrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooommmm |
| ok so you got all your stuff packed... so step on the gas and go go go. ok here's a few tips to stay awake at the wheel. 1. put heavy metal music on 2. have your talkative mother-in-law sit beside you in the front passenger seat 3. have menthol sweets then cold water 4. have your passengers yell every 15 minutes "THERE'S A COP!!!" 5. imagine the car behind you is a pyschopath trailing you Here are some other tips if you're travelling by plane/bus/etc 1. pull out the air-freshener... someone will fart in the carriage 2. tell the talkative neighbour beside you, about the faces and shapes you see in your poop. they will stop talking to you 3. interrupt noisy passengers with sporadic cries of "WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!! DIE DIE DIE!!!" then pretend to continue your sleep 4. scratch yourself all over constantly.... your neighbour will evacuate his/her seat... then you will have room to lie down 5. offer to breastfeed the other passenger's crying child (this is especially effective if you are male) the parents will do everything in their power to get the crying child away from your earshot. if you have all that down, you will enjoy your journey. bon voyage! |
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| onto the next section : Clearing Customs |