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Regarding the question of openness and honesty. How do you feel about lying to people about your sexuality - or rather your gender? How honest are you with people about being a transgender?
I don't regard it as lying to people when I tell them I am a male. In fact, I don't even tell them that. I would simply introduce myself - or have myself introduced - and I leave it up to the person to decide. Okay, so there have been times when I have deliberately told someone I am male. Actually, I'd rather say I'm not a female. There is a difference, I think, and it is not a lie, because I am not a female.
When I first started on this road and had an identity document featuring my birth name and classifying me as a female, I told all and sundry that I am a pre-op transgender. It didn't work for me. I lost jobs, or was not offered jobs. Life just seemed so complicated, until I took the advice of someone, who in spite of knowing the truth, gave me a job anyway. She suggested I don't tell people. It isn't anybody's business what is going on between my legs, she said. Since then it has worked for me.
So my circles are divided into people who still regard me as female, those who regard me as male, and those who know that I am a pre-op transgender. It is seldom that I have to deal with all three at once, but I have juggled them before with some success.
I suppose the easiest way out is to relocate to an area or country where nobody knows me and I can start life afresh. But I shouldn't have to. I should feel free to live anywhere I want in whatever body I want. And if I choose to do it in my hometown, that should be my right.
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