Rachel Young

wednesday, october 3, 2001

I woke up drenched in sweat this morning. A series of bad dreams throughout the night . . .

What is wrong with me?? Why can't I just sleep at night like normal people do?

My father used to go out of town for business trips when I was a kid. So my mother would allow my sister, brother, and I to take turns sleeping with her when he was gone. We'd rotate nights among the three of us, and my mother absolutely dreaded when it was my turn. I'd kick and move and grind my teeth all throughout the night. Even then, I had bad dreams. And poor Mom never got a good night's rest with me by her side. It was so sweet of her to let me still sleep with her when it was my turn. It demonstrated to me how wonderfully unconditional a mother's love can be.

My sister and I used to share beds when I was in elementary school. One night, I had this dream she stole my candy bar and I socked her in the mouth for it (I take my sweets very seriously). Then I woke up because I felt this sharp pain in my leg. My sister had kicked me in the shin, because apparently I had actually punched her in my sleep. Even to this day, she has never forgiven me for that and won't dare sleep in the same bed with me. A sibling's love (or at least tolerance) is apparently not as unconditional as that of a mother's when you punch her in the middle of the night for a candy bar. =(

I don't think my poor husband-to-be and I will be able to sleep in the same bed every night. Maybe not even the same room. Regardless of how great his love for me may be.

And to think my sleeping habits are just the tip of my problems.

later . . .

I had lunch out at the park today, and the weather outside is gorgeous. I feel some beautiful days in store for October.

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