Rachel Young

monday, october 8, 2001

I can't get enough of this song right now. I can't wait to see her perform tomorrow night.

And all else is well. My best friend is back from Maui! There`s a package waiting to be delivered to my front door (and someone won`t even give me a clue as to what it could be--he gets a kick out of keeping me in suspense). I`ve got two songs brewing in this head of mine. This job I`ve landed temporarily is most definitely mine to keep (will hear the final word at the end of the week). And music continues to feed the soul.

Is it possible for one to be so content in light of everything that`s going on?

. . . . . . . . . .

I think I’ve gained about 15 pounds since Sept. 11th. I’ve been eating and eating non-stop, and I’m NOT (let me emphasize this point because it reminds me how unfair life is) one of those lucky people who’ve been blessed with a metabolism rate that’s as fast as my driving down a long stretch of highway (I’m notorious for recklessly speeding but never getting caught--*knock on wood*). Strange how one resorts to food for comfort (although in some extreme cases, I usually turn away from it when I’m feeling really down). But I wouldn’t know for sure if I’ve actually gained 15 lbs given that I haven’t stepped on a scale for about 2 years or so. But the clothes never lie. And what was once nice and baggy only a few weeks ago is now a bit snug where it shouldn’t be.

But oh well. My rotund figure (my friends are going to give me grief for saying that) is the least of my problems.

Actually I don’t have any problems. My life is fine and dandy right now (in fact, it couldn't get much better), and that’s partly why I’m so pissed off at these darn terrorists who’ve gone and drastically changed the way Americans live their daily lives. Our security and safety have been threatened, and we're constantly wondering "what's next?". I’m so angry that they think they can take their self-righteous views, violently oppose those who don’t hold the same beliefs, and destroy the very ideals this nation prides itself on (although I'm sure the Afghans are saying the same thing about Americans, and I can almost sympathize with them). But these terrorists are ludicrous, and I wish I could get inside their heads to understand their rationale behind all this. How can it make sense to anyone? How can such atrocious acts be “justice” or “God’s will”?

I’ve decided that I’m not going to let them ruin my plans. I’m not going to let them dictate how I live my life every day. I’m not going to let fear overtake me and prevent me from following my ambitions and my dreams. I’m going to try as best as I can to resume my life and live it to the fullest. I will not let them take that away from me.

So to commemorate this wonderful stance I’ve taken on the situation, I’m going to go shopping. What am I going to get? I’m going to buy extra baggy pants and XXL sweaters so they’ll actually fit me in the winter. Ha. As long as I continue to have my harmless self-deprecating, sarcastic and sometimes corny sense of humor and can laugh about the silly little things in life, I know everything’s gonna alright.

[Okay, so my reaction right now may be bordering on the line of denial, but I need this right now. I just want to be silly, naive, and jovial like a little kid again. So please don't burst my bubble. Thank you very much for your cooperation and understanding.]

rewind forward