wednesday, september 12, 2001
I didn’t go to bed until 6:30am watching the news. I couldn’t pull myself away, but eventually I cried myself to sleep.
Twenty-four hours earlier at 6:30am on Tuesday morning, I woke up after sleeping for three hours, getting ready to start just another day. I took a shower, got dressed, and walked out the door. I was even hoping to see the gorgeous officer I had seen the morning before.
I got on the bus to New York, transferred on the N train headed downtown, grabbed breakfast at 7:45am (and even wrote about it on my online journal at 8:15am). Then I walked up to the office, sat at my desk, and it was just like any other morning.
But an hour into work, utter chaos broke out. It took me a few minutes to register what was going on. The president of the company blasted the radio on, and I could only catch bits and pieces of what had happened.
A plane crashed before 9am and everyone at the office thought it was perhaps due to a mechanical mishap. Shortly afterwards, it was followed by another. And then talks of terrorism floated around the office, but having a hard time accepting this prospect, I tried to convince myself, “Terrorists are supposed to use bombs and missiles to destroy a city. Not frickin’ passenger planes.”
But it was confirmed. An attack was made on our nation. And there was a sick feeling inside my stomach, thinking that perhaps we were on the brink of World War III. Gosh, I take the fact I wake up every morning and safely go to bed in a free nation for granted.
I finally got in touch with my dad after hours of trying to reach him, and he was exceptionally calm. As a very spiritual man, I know he trusts that Tuesday’s events and its outcomes are in God’s sovereign hands. I do too, but there’s still this overwhelming sense of sorrow, a tinge of anger, and a hint of fear. Why does the world have to come to this?
On the television screen last night, an image appeared which made my heart sick with disgust. Scattered celebrations in the Middle East upon hearing the news. Adults and children cheering and laughing the way sports fans do when their teams win. And all I could do was just cry. How can people hate us so much that they celebrate the deaths of thousands of innocent people?
But I’m so thankful for the way people here in New York have been responding. It’s amazing. People of all backgrounds, different religions, and every social class coming together to do what they can. An overflow of blood donors and rescue teams sacrificing their own lives to save that of a stranger. It’s so damn beautiful, it makes me cry with an overpowering sense of gratitude.
And I personally thank those who were kind enough to call, send me an email or a note to express your concern. It’s comforting to know you’re thought of. It’s strange though. After all of my friends and family were accounted for yesterday, I sighed a breath of temporary relief. It seems a bit selfish when some people are still waiting for that call or email and many won’t get it.
My thoughts and prayers to those who lost someone yesterday.
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Once the shock and sorrow settle in the hearts of the American people, my greatest fear is anger will replace grief and it will fuel a worldwide violence and hatred we have never witnessed in our lifetime. I shudder at the mere thought.
On a local radio station here in New York, a Muslim girl of 12 calls in to relay stories of being made fun of at school today. She breaks down in tears and emphasizes “Muslims are not evil people. We don’t believe in what those terrorists did”. She expresses her deepest sorrow in light of the tragedy, and my heart goes out to her. How can you hate an entire group of people based on what a few deranged individuals committed?
I pray God will bring justice and His peace will prevail among the nations. He has a plan for all of this--something I, as a mere human being, cannot understand nor begin to fathom. I trust in His great wisdom and His sovereignty.
May God grant our nation’s leaders His wisdom and guidance in taking action and seeking retribution for yesterday’s events. I pray as Americans we don’t do anything rash and set ablaze the hate and wickedness that started all of this. Almighty God, you will bring ultimate justice and I have complete faith in this.
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Copyright © 2001 Rachel Young
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