thursday, september 13, 2001
I got called into work today but trying to resume life as usual just seems impossible at this point. After leaving my apartment to head to the office, I turned right back around. There was no way I’d be able to focus on work, although I knew it would be good for me to get out of my apartment for a little bit.
Tonight, I walked my usual route for the first time since Monday night. And I wish I had a digital camera so you could see what I could see. I just don’t think people can completely fathom the magnitude of what’s happened unless you’re right here in the heart of it. It just doesn’t hit home the way it does when you’re only a few miles away from it all. Even then, you still find yourself in disbelief.
I live right across from Manhattan. The only thing that separates me from the city is the Hudson River. I look across to see the cloud of gray smoke hovering over downtown where the World Trade Center once stood, the smoke slowly spreading and fading all the way up to midtown. Closer to uptown, the sky is absolutely clear and pitch black.
There are news vans and reporters stationed in the park along my route. The view of the city is so clear from where I am, they’re constantly videotaping footage of what the skyline looks like from across the river. There are people taking snapshots, others who sit in a daze just as I’ve been in the past few days. There are some who are sitting and laughing amongst themselves, and then there are the usual joggers who whiz pass me. Life is slowly returning back to normal for many people.
But I can’t imagine life ever being normal again after this.
The American flags raised at half mast in the parks and the ones decorating the front porches of the houses along the route remind me something is very different. This, along with the plume of smoke across the river from where I am. This city will never be the same again.
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Last night, I spoke to my brother and my parents. My brother said something to me that made me choke with tears. Something I can’t repeat, but I’m so grateful for his words. My mother and father called me on my home line while I was talking to my brother, and with the exception of my sister, it was like one happy family reunion. I was thankful for that moment.
Then while I was finishing up my conversation with my family, my friend HOT called and we spoke for four hours until 3:30 in the morning. Being able to share and express your thoughts with a friend is an amazing source of comfort. For those brief hours, I remembered what it was like to smile and laugh again. He’s got a way of making me forget my worries. Thank you so much, my friend.
Today I got a letter in the mail from my best friend, and it made me happy to hear from her. Her words brought tears to my eyes, and I called her immediately to thank her for the letter. We talked on the phone for a couple hours, and it was comforting to hear her familiar voice. I’m so thankful for this wonderful friend in my life who has been there for me since we were both 13-years-old. A friendship like this is so rare to find. I am blessed.
In the past three days, I’ve been inundated with emails and phone calls from concerned individuals. Over sixty emails on Tuesday alone--from relatives, close friends, acquaintances, some people I haven’t heard from in ages, and individuals I’ve never even met who have been following my online journal. I’m so thankful for each kind word, encouragement, and show of genuine concern. You all are so wonderful and I’m reminded what a good heart people have. There is goodness in a world full of chaos and uncertainty, and I praise God for that.
I’m just sorry that it takes something like this to make me truly appreciate the good things and the wonderful people in my life.
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Copyright © 2001 Rachel Young
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