Rachel Young

saturday, august 25, 2001

The view of the skyline tonight is so sharp, I imagine I could take a razor blade and cut along its edges with exact precision. It's breathtaking.

I take evening strolls along the main street near my neighborhood, and it’s become a routine of mine. It’s my time to recollect my thoughts and events of the day. I haven’t been one for routine (at least this has been the case since the early part of the year), but I view this as a form of discipline and a means of having some kind of consistency in my life. It is generally a long, peaceful walk, but for whatever reason, tonight is a different story.

Along the route is a Korean restaurant/karaoke bar. It is the only indication of Asian life in the neighborhood other than myself. As I walk pass the bar, a man in his late twenties (maybe early thirties) approaches me and speaks to me in Korean, asking me for the time. I look at my watch and reply to him “it’s 10:30” in Korean. Those are the first Korean words I’ve uttered here. He thanks me and then asks me if I'd like to join him for a drink in the restaurant. I immediately shake my head and respond with "No, that's okay. I've got somewhere to go."

A little further down the block, a middle-aged Caucasian yells out “hey Black Widow” and proceeds to hold out his hand as though he’s trying to reach out for me. I instinctively jerk away, roll my eyes, and mutter “moron” under my breath.

One would think headphones would deter people from approaching you, but it seems to be the exact opposite case for me. Every time I wear headphones in the city, I can almost guarantee someone will come up to me for directions or make some unnecessary comment or lewd remark. I just want to take a telephone booth and encase myself in it just to make it clear I’d rather not be bothered. I’ve become quite unapproachable here in the city, though naturally I’m a very friendly person. People warned me that the city would give me a hard edge. But if you’re a softie here, you’ll either get yourself mugged, shot, or raped. There is no doubt in my mind about this.

I realize I’ve become just as razor-sharp and hard-edged as the city skyline. As to how breathtaking these qualities are, it's simply a matter of opinion.

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