Rachel Young

friday, november 8, 2002

Tonight’s Bible study on James 5:1-6 was convicting for many of us. It made us examine our hearts to see where our treasures lie and what material and worldly things have hindered us from really seeking after the Lord. I came home, fell to my knees, and repented for letting these things become my idols.

The Lord reminded me that I have the greatest treasure in the world – the saving grace of Jesus Christ. And nothing, absolutely nothing, compares.

In the brief 20-some years of my life, the Lord has shown me some rather amazing things – despite my sinful nature, my stubbornness, selfishness, and pride. He breaks those things to reveal His glory and His majesty.

I am in awe.

Tonight, I briefly touched on some of the struggles my family had endured over the years. I got a bit choked up while sharing (which was totally unexpected), and then I realized I still harbor some of the hurt and pain from those years. Holidays always seem to be the hardest time. I am reminded of the bitterness and resentment that exist in my extended family whenever we get together for the holidays. Years later, my brother refuses to attend the family events with me and my sister. He hasn’t been able to forgive them or let bygones be bygones. He’s kept a mental record of every wrong deed done, of every hurtful word, of every offensive action.

And my only prayer is that God would heal that hurt and that my siblings and I would be able to extend grace, forgiveness, and love to one another and the people in our lives -- just as Christ has done for us.

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During my high school years, my father worked a part-time job in addition to being a full-time pastor. He did so to support his family because a minister’s salary was less than what a local school janitor made. And you just can't raise a family of five on that. After church on Sunday, he would drive up 3 hours to D.C. to attend seminary during the day and then work the graveyard shift at a convenient store in the evenings. He'd repeat this schedule for three days and then on Wednesday night, he'd come back home to PG County.

The church knew he was attending seminary, but they had no idea he was also working at the time. If the congregation had found out, they would have had a hissy fit. Pastors are supposed to be fully committed to the church and to the church only, they’d say. My mother worked as well, and we even had a few church members leave because of that fact. Yeah well, a pastor's family needs to be fed and clothed as well, you know. It’s not a luxury you get to have for yourself, I used to think. I was bitter. I was envious. And I was angry with the Lord because it all seemed so unfair.

When my father’s shift at the convenient store was over, he’d scrunch up in the backseat of the minivan to sleep for a few hours and then start the next day all over again. My dad is such an amazing man. While my relatives often complained and said he was a poor provider for his family, they had no idea what sacrifices he made on our behalf. Today, he walks with a hunch and a crooked back from nights cramped in the back of the van, and each time I see him in his fragile state, I am reminded of his sacrificial love for us.

My parents didn’t have the luxury of providing us with material wealth, but they gave us something far more invaluable and priceless. A knowledge of the loving Savior. A faith in the faithful One. A hope in the eternal God. A profound gratefulness for the price of the Cross.

In the name of love, my earthly father spent cold nights in the backseat of a van. My Holy Father came to earth as a man, shed His blood, and hung on a cross to pay for my sins and to wash me clean of my unrighteousness. Why would He bear and endure such pain for my sake? This is love, and it is the greatest treasure we will ever know.

All else will fade and turn to dust, but His glory will endure forever and ever.

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