Rachel Young

thursday, october 10, 2002

My boss just called me a social retard.

He’s trying to set me up with one of his former colleagues – a 30-year-old business developer who’s half-Caucasian and half-Japanese (so yeah, he’s a pretty attractive guy). He’s come into the office a couple times, and we’ve been introduced. I thought he was cute, and I found out later the sentiments were mutual (so I can’t say much for his vision).

Well, my boss got the bright idea to encourage one of us to contact the other via email or a phone call to go out for dinner one of these days.

Yeah, right. I don't think so.

This morning, my boss told a fellow coworker of this ingenious idea of his – claiming it was the perfect set up because his friend and I are "both single, nice, bright, artistic, and both are 'social retards'". That’s his nice way of saying we’re shy. He could have said "socially inept" to be more politically correct, but he's the boss. What does he care?

Simply to amuse my boss, I entertained the thought by first asking, “So what’s your success rate at playing matchmaker?”

“Oh, I’m zero for three, but I figure I’ve got to get it right one of these days,” he replied.

Yeah. Uh huh. That just makes me feel soooo much better about it.

I think I’ll continue playing by own rules, even if they suck, and I can’t get a date to save my life.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention my boss is currently trying to get his friend a job here. He thinks it would be "cute" having us work together. I thought he was just joking at first, but I found out later that his friend has indeed been corresponding with the VP of Marketing and Sales here regarding an open position.

Will someone please just shoot me now?

As if it wasn't bad enough with my dad actually encouraging me to date via the internet, now I have to deal with this at the workplace.

Excuse me while this social retard goes and hides in the corner for the rest of the day.

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