| WORKSHEET #1 Identify the Abuse,Dealing with Abuser |
| Getting Started. Take your time and don't push yourself. Only do as much as your are able to handle at the time. If you get overwhelmed, put this workbook away for as long as you need to. Healing is a process, and will take time. 1. Aproximate age abuse started: _________ 2. Approximate age when abuse ended: _________ (if known) Abuse does not just happen to small children, it can happen even in the teen years. Sexual abuse does not have to be physical touching or penetration, it can also be from making the child look at pornography, using the child in pornography, saying sexual comments to the child, watching the child bathe and undress, etc... Next you will identify the person(s) responsible for abusing you. If he/she was a grandparent, aunt/uncle, or related in some way, write that after their name. 3. Abuser(s) _______________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ If the identy of the abuser(s) is not known yet, leave that part blank. 4. Your relationship to the abuser prior to the abuse - friendship, we were close, use to take me to the park, etc... or negative aspects if bad relationship (if known) __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ When a child is abused, the child usually puts it's attention on something else, like counting ceiling tiles, or flowers on the wallpaper, etc... It is how the child has to deal with the abuse. These survival techniques are often carried into adulthood. Recognizing these protective defenses in your healing is important, so that you can develope healthier coping mechanisms while in recovery and in other areas of your life. 5. How you dealt with the abuse while it was happening: ______________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ Overcoming childhood coping mechanisms take time, so try to be as patient as you can with yourself, and don't push yourself. Keep yourself self, and when it gets too much, put this away until you are ready to start again. Recovery is very painful for a while. 6. New ways in which you can deal with the memories of the abuse:_______________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________________________________ Remember, the coping mechanisms you used as a child are how you had to deal with the abuse. So many times as an adult, we judge ourselves for the way we deal with being abused. We no longer see through the eyes of the terrified child, aside from flashbacks. May the Lord Jesus Christ give you wisdom, understanding and guidance through your healing journey. Christ is our healer, and prayer is a very important part of the healing process. |
| Why is it important to identify the abuser? So many times we will say "my grandfather molested me", and not grieve over our losses of having a non-abusive grandfather, etc... Also, when a relationship existed prior to the abuse, it is a traumatic loss of a safe relationship for a child when the abuse begins. |