A few weeks later I contact Maggie on the last day of 2004. This is what we talked about then: realize2actualize: happy new year, I hope you are doing all right. I just wanted to drop by and send you                             my best wishes and blessings............:) Maggie: Same to you!!  Please have a safe evening! realize2actualize: I try my best, don't know if I will be doing anything though Maggie: Please just be safe and blessed!  We have stayed home for many years unless we were              working. realize2actualize: anyway, this is always a time for me to reflect and think about the future and all the                             things that I need to accomplish in the year ahead, but life is good, no doubt about                             that, regardless or despite of the challenges and difficulties Maggie: I totally agree, I've been thinking the same thing.  my goal is truly to be more tolerant in such              an intolerant world realize2actualize: that's a good start realize2actualize: good luck with that Maggie: I seem to lose my temper at times...lol realize2actualize: question is though, why are we intolerant at times realize2actualize: why do we have such a difficult time to accept reality Maggie: that and what do we see within our hate?  Do we see ourselves? realize2actualize: I think if we learn to become more accepting, allowing for things to be the way they                            are and to then totally learn to focus on how to become the change we all need in the                            world so badly realize2actualize: I think we only see what we want to see realize2actualize: that which we like realize2actualize: we only see the world as we are realize2actualize: or as we want it to be, but not as it is realize2actualize: the same with other people, we only see what we want to see in them Maggie: I see that many have different paths, and different goals based on who they are realize2actualize: that which we understand and tolerate, but basically this is all about us and our own                             standards and preference, but life, reality outside of us is very different realize2actualize: of course realize2actualize: and to allow for others to make their own choices, regardless of how stupid and                             destructive We think that might be, but again, this is not about us, rather about the                             reasons for why people do what they do Maggie: YES!!!!!!! Maggie: that's what I couldn't type out! realize2actualize: this is what separates from us, and the only way we can overcome that separateness realize2actualize: is through unconditional love and acceptance Maggie: As a conservative, I think there should be separation between church and state realize2actualize: and allowing for things to be the way they are Maggie: because no one should have to choose what the "country" deems to be "right" realize2actualize: as there is no such thing really Maggie: a soul decision is private Maggie: I know... Maggie: but for the liberals realize2actualize: labels realize2actualize: never liked those Maggie: I know realize2actualize: I like to think of myself as a human being first and foremost Maggie: maybe you are helping me again realize2actualize: if you allow me to realize2actualize: that would be nice, thanks, and you are helping me as well Maggie: It's cool, because as I say liberal, I have no cold heart, but a label is a label realize2actualize: to gain more perspective as a result of our interaction Maggie: I agree realize2actualize: but we do not have to become that label realize2actualize: you know Maggie: I know realize2actualize: but if we attach ourselves to what the label stands for, then this is a problem as it                            keeps us from understanding what lies beyond that label realize2actualize: you follow? Maggie: <sigh>  I know... realize2actualize: what we hold on ultimately keeps us from being open to things we do not understand realize2actualize: it's a very good and important thing to know that realize2actualize: just to implement and use that knowledge, that is another story Maggie: lol...Self-knowledge, self-esteem, self-taught realize2actualize: that's me realize2actualize: among other things, but yeah Maggie: I think that's the fist thing I learned.  realize2actualize: confidence realize2actualize: well then realize2actualize: what happened if I might ask Maggie: yes, self confidence, the healing starts within Maggie: am I that obvious? realize2actualize: I am that observant realize2actualize: and attentive when I communicate with others realize2actualize: but if this is obvious to you as well Maggie: silly really.  I was in a CARE2 message board.  The group is called "Things that make you              ballistic"  I put "Tired of hearing about Kerry" or something to that nature.  The group HOST,              came back called me many names, and then a B. realize2actualize: sorry to hear that realize2actualize: but just don't play into those games then Maggie: I was offended, so I send her a private note Maggie: asking when I did realize2actualize: the games other people play, and taking those things personal realize2actualize: this is not about you, I hope you understand that realize2actualize: this is about how other people look at you and respond to you based upon their                              impression of you realize2actualize: so realize2actualize: why take it personal I ask Maggie: she never responded, but the next day posted one that said, "I hate thin skinned people"  and              then said that I am only pretending to be sensitive realize2actualize: you are separate from all of this, we just established that Maggie: I don't know!  lol...I actually cried! realize2actualize: good for you Maggie: I know I am more at peace realize2actualize: so glad to hear that Maggie: I know she must be suffering to hurt people like that realize2actualize: and that is the way to be realize2actualize: to be at peace Maggie: it just shocked me realize2actualize: with yourself, others and the world in general realize2actualize: and to allow for things to be, to totally let go of our need to change or control or                             manipulate whatever is going on around us realize2actualize: being at peace realize2actualize: within realize2actualize: to be at peace yourself Maggie: I needed to get that out, and thank you for listening realize2actualize: and to realize what keeps you from that realize2actualize: is a very worthy goal realize2actualize: of course realize2actualize: sorry I keep typing, but I was reading what you said Maggie: lol Maggie: it's all good realize2actualize: sure is realize2actualize: everything exactly realize2actualize: not just in the way we talk here realize2actualize: but in general realize2actualize: listen to this if you may Maggie: okay realize2actualize: whatever is happening in the world realize2actualize: however people talk and respond to us and act realize2actualize: the way we are realize2actualize: everything realize2actualize: is totally realize2actualize: meant to be realize2actualize: no accident realize2actualize: everything has reasons Maggie: like growing from our pain and trials realize2actualize: and everything outside of us is exactly that, part of the reality outside, over which we                              ultimately have no control over realize2actualize: yes realize2actualize: everything is a lesson realize2actualize: every encounter with another person realize2actualize: every experience realize2actualize: an opportunity to learn from it\ Maggie: and her walk is her walk, nothing to do with mine realize2actualize: you got it Maggie: :-< ty realize2actualize: the pleasure is all mine realize2actualize: ;) realize2actualize: so, you happy in life?? Maggie: for a little bit...yes, I am very happy realize2actualize: a little bit? realize2actualize: mmmh Maggie: soon, I will have to get back to work.  I accept it... realize2actualize: life is about making choices Maggie: so I have a little bit of time Maggie: yes realize2actualize: based upon what one wants, and what one can do realize2actualize: whatever you realize about all of that, you actualize, you manifest in that you have                             become the person you are today based upon those realizations realize2actualize: if that makes any sense Maggie: yes...because balance is the key unspoken word realize2actualize: I really have come to understand that our thoughts create our reality Maggie: yes Maggie: I have to balance what I know now...with what I want for my family, with what will make me              happy Maggie: then to act on it realize2actualize: another things, I think true and genuine happiness should not be dependent on                             having the things which will Make you happy realize2actualize: and it should not depend on external circumstances realize2actualize: rather should be internal Maggie: good point realize2actualize: an attitude so to speak Maggie: I don't ever think I have failed at a business, or a "job" if I applied, or started my own Maggie: BUT Maggie: I was constantly bored Maggie: but realize2actualize: I understand Maggie: I found what I am going to do next Maggie: I need to find out what I need to do to work in a dialysis center Maggie: and that's what I want to do.  Old, and young, get them prepared Maggie: maybe brush their hair if they need it Maggie: talk to them, Maggie: and tell them I'll see them next week Maggie: I think that is my next move realize2actualize: that is quite the job you are taking on there Maggie: ah ha Maggie: it wouldn't be a job realize2actualize: very commendable realize2actualize: I know realize2actualize: for the lack of a better word Maggie: There are some things that make me smile Maggie: Down Syndrome babies Maggie: and people that just need a hug Maggie: like in a dialysis center realize2actualize: I so respect you for doing that, I dont know if I could Maggie: The words to describe a down symdrome baby's eyes Maggie: they say are "almond shaped eyes" realize2actualize: I totally admire you for that Maggie: I see Precious Moments  :-) realize2actualize: I believe you do realize2actualize:  but also a lot of tragedy realize2actualize: and suffering, but I am sure it is difficult to even look at it this way realize2actualize: dang, that must be soo tough I think Maggie: yes..I had a dream in 1990, when I was pregnant with Alyssa Maggie: I had a boy in my dream, he has downs Maggie: he looked up at me, and said, do you still love me even though I am special" Maggie: and I just smiled at those almond blue eyes, and smiled.  When I woke up, I was at peace Maggie: I am sorry...I am going off now Maggie: lol realize2actualize: we all have that realize2actualize: more or less realize2actualize: neah, it's all good Maggie: lol realize2actualize: around me you can say whatever you feel like and it's all good Maggie: ty.. realize2actualize: my pleasure Maggie: I needed to say that. Maggie: not many people know that about me realize2actualize: so you did realize2actualize: but that was interesting about that dream realize2actualize: you always worked with people who had downs? Maggie: i remember everything Maggie: no! Maggie: never realize2actualize: < guess I am confused Maggie: I've worked mostly retail as a kid, and sales and service, for SBC for 8 years/Washington              Mutual for 2 realize2actualize: so where does the connection with downs come in? realize2actualize: or rather comes from Maggie: :-? I don't know Maggie: never questioned it Maggie: always made my heart smile realize2actualize: very interesting. Sorry to have to cut our conversation short, but I have to go for                             now. I will talk to you whenever our path may cross again..peace out....;)