Marie
Ugh... is she dense or what, people? I at this point would've defied God and country and Brad Pitt for his love. However, I was in no position to do so and the noble thing was wearing off quickly.
I all but sprinted to Murphy, dismayed that my plan had apparently not worked in much of any sense. I found Erik seated at the piano, absently tapping out what sounded like All I Ask Of You. I tried not to think of the last time I'd heard that song.
"Hey." I greeted him, laying a hand on his shoulder.
"Hello." he nodded slightly, still staring at the keys. "I think we've exhausted our supply of brilliant ideas."
"I guess. I take it you still want me to take you back on Saturday?" I sighed, my heart torn between confessing my feelings and helping him snag Lisa's.
"Yes. I'm tired of living like this." he almost growled. I sensed he was in a very bitter mood but pressed on, hoping to God that I might have some effect on him.
"Erik, why do you have to leave? You have so much here." I reminded him.
"Like what?" he turned on me, anger turning his eyes to hard pieces of ice. "What do I have to convince me to go on living in this godforsaken world? And please, don't tell me about my job."
I bit my lip trying to keep from crying yet again. I was not used to being yelled at and his anger hurt my feelings terribly. With tears in my eyes, I looked up at him. "Don't I count for anything at all? Do you really hate me so much that you can just leave me behind like that?"
His expression changed completely at my frank question, no longer anger but remorse and sadness. With a gentle sweep, he enfolded me in his arms, hugging me tightly.
"No, cherie... I don't hate you at all." he whispered soothingly. "You're the dearest friend I've ever had. You've been kinder to me than anyone else has been before... you've shown me that not everyone will judge me by my face and my past." He paused to take a deep breath. "But I need more. Maybe I'm selfish... but what I need to live... is someone to love me back."
The words were in my throat, I loved him! I had loved from the first! But the words never made it to my mouth. I could only hold onto him and bury my face against his shoulder to hide my tears.
"Marie, forgive me... I should not have taken my anger out on you." he said, lifting my head to face him. He saw the wet tracks on my skin immediately and gasped. "Ma chere... my leaving isn't worth you're tears. Please... don't weep on my account."
"I can't help it... I'll miss you, Erik." I breathed, trying to keep the sobs inside. Hey, several weeks of trying to help the man I loved win my roommate had taken a toll on my emotional stability.
"As I'll miss you, mon amie. But you'll soon forget me, I'll be a long distant memory within a few months, I'm certain." he said softly, rubbing my back like one does to comfort a sobbing child.
"No... I'll never forget you." I cried in my typical melodramatic fashion, minus the usual humor.
"Oh, Marie..." he sighed. "I never want to hurt you... but I can't stay here with Lisa avoiding me at every turn."
"I know..." I relented, stepping away from him and wiping the tears from my cheeks. "C'mon, I'll walk you back to your apartment."
He nodded, swinging his cloak over his shoulders as I replaced my jacket and purse. The walk was silent for the most part, but I finally figured out what a heavy silence sounded like. At the entrance to the building, Erik stopped and turned to me.
"Forgive me for asking this of you, but... do you happen to have a photograph of the two of you?" he asked quietly.
"Yeah, sure." I replied, fishing through my purse to find it. "Here... it's me and Lisa at the beach a few days before we came to find you. The sunrise was really gorgeous and some nice woman agreed to take the picture for us. It turned out really nice."
"Exquisite." he commented breathily, taking the picture. "Never mind the sunrise... I think the two women in it outshine the sun."
I blushed a little. "Good night, Erik."
I left quickly. No good night kiss. No furtive hug. No more sappy spiels about his leaving. I may have wanted to do those things... but he would not have wanted them from me.