Lisa
Spam! That has to
be the saddest and most pathetic thing she’s ever written… made all the worse
for actually happening. Now I feel like
a complete ass returning as chipper as I did.
Not only have I managed to be an ass to the Phantom of the Opera, I’ve
also managed to do it to one of me best friends! Ok…I’m done ranting for now…on to the Florida trip, on to the
wedding!
I was back! Completely clueless, but back! (not that I usually have a clue about what’s going on…but I digress) It was past 11:00 when I got in. I had put my bags and stuff away before popping into Erik’s (I figured Marie was probably over there too, so I could regale them both with my tales from the dark side (you’ve never been to Apopka if you think I’m exaggerating) I threw open the door and greeted then with a loud, “Tadaima!”
Erik and Marie’s heads turned from the TV and Erik started to get up. “You’re home.”
“Stay put, I’m joining you.” I said, plopping myself down on the couch between them. I put my head on Erik’s shoulder and looked up at him, bating my eyelashes. “Miss me?”
“Very much.” He replied, leaning down and pressing his lips to mine.
A moment later I turned to Marie and laid my head on her shoulder. “Miss me dear?”
She looked at me for a beat. “Maybe, but I’m not kissing you.”
“Aw!” I exclaimed on mock dismay. I leaned back on the couch. “So, whatcha watchin’?” I asked, yawning.
“The television.” Marie explained in that slow ‘I’m speaking a drunk person’ type of speech.
“I’m glad you were able to figure that out dear…what movie?”
“Return of the Jedi.” Marie pointed at the screen as though it should be obvious.
(Hey, suffering from extreme sleep deprivation and a weekend with the family I had a good excuse.) “You mean he came back?” I exclaimed in mock surprise.
“Yes, he came back...where he went I don’t know.” She said slowly, patting me on the head. (I hate it when people do that…so of course, everyone does it to me)
“Don’t do that!” I turned to Erik. “Erik, she’s being mean to me.”
“I’m sorry.” He crooned, patting my head.
“Ok, the two of you suck!” I cuffed him lightly on the shoulder. “So, want to hear my Tales From the Darkside?”
“Sure.” Marie said with less than her usual enthusiasm.
I yawned. “Oh, I feel…loved.” I tried to talk around another big yawn.
Erik slid his arm around me. “You need rest Lisa.”
“Aww…but I want to ponder how good Mark Hammil will really look when he is 900.”
Marie rolled her eyes. “Erik, help me get her into bed.”
I tried to stand up, only being half-melodramatic when I fell back to the couch. “I resemble that remark…I can get myself to the apartment, I got myself here!” I cried with a raised arm.
Marie turned to Erik. “Erik could you pick her up please?”
Erik hefted me in his arms.
“Hi.” I said from my new vantage. I pointed down. “Low!”
Erik looked at me oddly. “You really need sleep.”
I nodded.
“Where do you want her?”
Marie rolled her eyes again. “The bed would be good. I’m leaving now.” She headed for the door.
“Hey Marie.” I called.
“What?”
“Breakfast tomorrow, regale you with the tales of Apopka and the spot you’ve earned on Doug’s webpage?”
She looked bewildered at the mention of Doug. “Wha…ok, fine, go to bed.” She ordered as she left.
“I broke up the viewing.” I turned to Erik looking slightly dismayed.
“I believe we can continue it tomorrow with no ill effect.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck. “So, what now?”
“Bed.”
My eyes opened wide in mock dismay. “What no foreplay?”
Erik laughed. “No, no foreplay, sleep.”
“Aw spam!”
Erik proceeded to carry me to the bedroom and lay me on the bed. He sat on the edge and brushed my hair out of my eyes. “You need to rest Lisa.”
I raised an eyebrow. “But Erik, I’ve been deprived all weekend...or depraved, but we won’t go there.”
“No,” he said, starting to rise, “We, will not go there, you need your rest....” He paused and smiled. “We can resume our debauchery in the morning.”
“Promise?” I asked, restraining him.
“Yes.”
“Good...look, I promise to sleep but don’t go yet...I have yet to regale you with my adventures in the south...besides, I’m not used to sleeping alone anymore.” I held his hand and gave him my very best sad puppy look.
He smiled again and lay down next to me so that we were facing each other. “Is this better?”
“Much.” I said, turning so I could press my back to his chest...the classic ‘spoon’ position. Erik wrapped an arm around me and pulled me closer.
“So, how did your trip go?”
I sighed. “Well, my stepmother gave me a lecture about never telling them anything and I think I got about seven lectures about safe sex and STD testing.”
Erik chuckled softly. “Really, and what did you tell them my love?”
“Well, I told everyone we had both been tested and cleared...I think my stepmother suspects that we’ve slept together--”
“I do not think there was much sleeping involved.” Erik interrupted.
“A figure of speech dear. Anyhow...she suspects, but dad knows.” I paused, this was a very odd subject to bring up with your fiancé.
“Your father knows? Should I expect to be greeted with a shotgun when we visit?” Erik asked in only half jest.
I pulled his arm more tightly around me. “No, that’s just a joke we have going...now he might be cleaning the gun...”
“Oh, dear.”
“I’m just kidding.”
“How did he discover this, somehow I doubt you simply went up to your father and said, 'Yes father, I’ve been having premarital relations with my fiancé.'”
“Jeez, of course not! We were in the car and he was giving me the whole spiel about safe sex and being tested and even about a girl’s first time...yeah, dad will discuss anything with me...anyhow I told him we had both been tested...a white lie I figure, we were both virgins after all...and I told him I was going on the pill and that we would use condoms. He looked at me speculatively for a moment...I asked him what was so fascinating and he asked me exactly how long I had been sleeping with you. I tell you the man has a sixth sense about these things.”
“And what was his reaction?” Erik asked between kisses, which he had been planting along my neck during the discussion.
“Do you know you’re making it very hard for me to concentrate on my story?”
“Yes...so, what did he say?”
“Oh, he just asked me if I loved you and I was sure I wanted to get married so soon.” I explained cuddling closer to him.
“He did not disapprove?” Erik sounded mildly surprised.
“Why should he? After all, he and my mother had vast amounts of sex before they got married.”
“As long as it was vast amounts...so what did your family have to say about me? Do they approve of the match?”
“Well, I told them you were 35...though they still had a little problem with that, until I reminded Dad that he has seven years on his wife...mostly they were just worried you might...be taking advantage of me...so they most definitely want to meet you.”
“That sounds rather ominous...but they are merely trying to protect you...that I can understand.”
“Yeah, well...I’m sure you can charm my folks with no problem.”
“And what about the mask?” He asked, pausing in his kisses.
I reached back and caressed his cheek. “I told them the truth about the mask, they know about your face...I just said that when you were younger they couldn’t perform that sort of reconstructive surgery and now you feel that changing your appearance would merely be shallow and vain. Anyhow...I told them you have a sort of ‘Phantom’ complex... Doug nearly choked on his dinner, but the rest of the family seemed to take it in stride. I showed Gabby a picture of you and she asked if you were the real Phantom...I almost choked on my dinner...but I told her the ‘real’ phantom died a long time ago in Paris.”
“I think he did...leaving a better man in his place to roam the future.”
“Hon, if you were to get any better I wouldn’t be able to handle it!”
“Well, the first meeting next week should be interesting then.”
I yawned. All that traveling and B.S.ing was catching up with me. “Yup...hey I was wondering...complete subject change...were you able to find out what was wrong with Marie?” I asked drowsily, the thought had been nagging at me all weekend. Her apathy and despair were worse than I had ever seen them and I was getting worried.
Erik paused for a moment and took a deep breath. “I believe you were right in suspecting her malaise is more than her usual ‘bemoaning’ of her marital status...I believe she is suffering from unrequited love.”
I scowled...I didn’t like being right about this. “This is one time I wish I had been wrong...do you know who it is so I can beat some sense into the ass-hole?” I said, only half kidding. (I don’t like it when people hurt my friends)
Erik cleared his throat a moment and seemed slightly uncomfortable. (Considering I had just threatened to beat the shit out of him...I can understand why) “I was unable to discover who it is.”
“That really can’t be a pleasant experience...unrequited love I mean, I never really fell in love before you...I don’t know how I can help Marie with this.”
Erik responded by tightening his arms around me. “No...it is not easy or pleasant...all you can really do is be there for her.”
“Yeah...I just feel like such a heel...here I am about to get married and my best friend is having her heart broken...” I mused, half-asleep.
I felt Erik’s chest move as he sighed. “It is no fault of yours my love...Marie will find her true love.” He asserted, almost as if he were trying to convince himself.
“I hope so.” I said softly.
“I did...if I can find love Marie is certain to.”
“Mmmhmm.” I agreed as my eyes drifted shut.
“Sleep my love.”
I fell asleep, in Erik’s arms, blissfully unaware of the torture I was putting my roommate through...I guess it’s a little late now...but I’m sorry Marie.
****
Now, I wanted Erik to meet the family... but I never knew exactly how trying a week of introductions could be! Good, gods! Even with Marie along for support I nearly went mad. Now...I'm betting you think I'm just exaggerating...now you're being silly...with a family like mine exaggeration isn't necessary. It started as all visits do...with arriving at Dad's house. Dad, ever the practical joker, didn't answer the door...he was too busy cleaning the pistol grip shotgun. I knew he was kidding, Jayne knew he was kidding, my brother and sister knew he was kidding...Erik and Marie didn't. I think it was the only time I ever saw Erik afraid...it was just for a moment, that second my dad looked up sternly from his cleaning, the second before he let out a grin. Anyway, I thought it was damn funny.
"Mr. Platt?" Erik inquired extending a hand.
"Doug, just a little joke Erik...” Dad winked at me. "I always told Lisa I would be cleaning this when she came home with a guy."
I ran over and hugged him. "Yeah but your saving the Uzi for Gab's first date right?"
"Right." He said, returning my fierce hug. "Hi Marie!" He turned, giving Marie a bear hug.
"Hi Mr. Platt." She wheezed, trying to disentangle herself.
The dog was barking insistently now…someone had put her outside before we arrived. I went over to the door and scooped her up. “Did you miss me Stingy?” I asked as she thoroughly bathed my face with her tongue.
She quickly lost interest in me when she saw Erik and squirmed to get down. I set her on the floor and 5 pounds of canine fury proceeded to bark at the Phantom of the Opera. Erik looked first at the dog and then at me.
I gestured at the dog. “Erik, I would like to introduce you to the our guard dog, Stingy Tinkerbell.”
Erik stooped down and offered his hand to Stingy. “Pleased to meet you I’m sure.” With that the dog that can’t stand anyone but family (she barks at everyone for at least an hour before she’ll let them pet her) allowed Erik to pick her up and stroke her short fur.
I smiled and pet the dog who had her paws on Erik’s neck and was trying to lick under the mask. “Well, you’ve impressed one member of the family.”
Erik used his talents to ensure that only Marie and I heard his comment. “Yes, but I doubt that having the scent of a recently eaten steak on my hand will have the same effect on your stepmother.”
Marie and I nearly choked trying not to laugh. Erik just smiled. He had no trouble charming any of them.
After about fifteen minutes we were all siting around the living room and the interrogation began:
Lisa didn't say much
about where you worked before Beaver...what did you do for a living? Musical theater, huh? Ever meet Andrew Lloyd Webber?
Do you like Glenside?
And from my little sister....
Are you sure you're not the real Phantom of the Opera?
When Erik excused himself for the evening (he was staying at a local hotel...some of my family was still under the illusion we hadn't slept together) I followed him out to the car (we rented a Mustang and a Taurus for the week).
"Well, that's the immediate family, the hard parts over...so what do you think?" I asked leaning into the car.
"About your family? Well, they're certainly an inquisitive bunch. Especially little Gabrielle." He commented with a smile that contrasted his exasperated tone.
"Yeah, well the look on your face when you saw dad cleaning the gun was priceless dear." I laughed, kissing him lightly.
He rolled his eyes. "You will never let me forget that will you?"
"Not likely...so when are you coming by tomorrow?"
That soft smile again. "Miss me already do you?"
"Well, gee, there will be no smut for a week, what ever shall I do?" I sighed dramatically.
He pulled me further into the car for a kiss. Now there has to be a better description for that...it wasn't just a kiss...it was a toe-curling, knee-buckling, mind-numbing kiss. When he released me I wasn't sure I would have been standing had I not been leaning on the car. "It will only be for a week my love, then we can return and resume our debauchery." He asserted, putting the car in reverse. "Oyasumi nasai!" (sleep well) He called as he pulled out.
I waved after him. "Not bloody likely." I grumbled, thinking of the spot I had reserved for the night, on the living room couch.
That night, Marie, Doug, his friends and I played monopoly for hours and watched really bad Godzilla flicks. The next day more family was coming up from Tampa and we would all congregate at Grandma's...meaning, Erik would be subjected to grandma and grandpa on his second day...poor guy (insert sad violin here).
Meeting grandma wasn't too bad, especially when she found out that Erik was a Christian...well, Catholic wasn’t her preference but she figured it was better than my atheism and I think she thought marrying a Christian would improve her chances of eventually converting me. (It had been her mission since I announced my atheism at age ten) When Erik left for the night my cousins from Tampa (Sasha, Jade and Sara…known collectively as ‘the girls’) came over to Dad’s house and we had a sleep over. (Oh, c’mon, I don’t care how old you are…get together a bunch of women around the same age, sleeping in house and it becomes an instant high school sleep over.) They drooled over Erik all night, especially when they found out he could sing. (though I have NO musical inclinations, my cousins are different…Sasha, Jade and Ken have great voices) We ended up going to sleep around three am…only after my third description of how he proposed.
The next day, Erik, Marie, the girls, Doug and his group, Gabby, Uncle Rob (the father of the infamous ‘girls’) Dad, Jayne and I all went to Disney…ah, c’mon…it’s Orlando, you have to go…it’d be like visiting New York City for the first time and not seeing the Statue of Liberty! At any rate I was surprised because Erik got a huge kick out of it…hey who knew the Phantom of the Opera would love Space Mountain and the Mad Hatters Teacups? Though he suggested leaving as soon as he saw my sister Gab lagging a bit he asked me if I’d be willing to come back later that week.
That night ‘the girls’ went back to Tampa, and the rest of us decided a night of pure vegetation was in order. So we had a vote and popped Happy Gilmore in the DVD player (I voted for the video of Auntie Mame…a true classic…but even Erik wanted to see Happy Gilmore)
The younger kids, including Doug, were already in bed so it was the just the 20 and aboves…Jayne claimed the giant easy chair. Dad took the end of the couch closest to her. I sat next to dad, Erik sat next to me and Marie sat on the other end next to Erik. (Yes, it is a huge couch!)
I was dead tired after a day of trekking through Disney, so with my head pillowed on Erik’s shoulder and one of my hands linked with dad’s I fell asleep. I think it might have been the most secure feeling I’ve ever felt, being held by the two men I loved, by two souls I knew I could trust explicitly…heaven.
Erik woke me when the movie was over, he had to leave…after three days of sleeping without him (yes, I did still sleep in my apartment at home, but not every night) not being able to share more than a hug or a brief kiss, I was ready to drop all pretenses and just go with him. But, knowing my grandmother would disapprove and being unwilling to leave Marie on her own with Doug (who still harbored an enormous crush on her) I just walked Erik to the car.
“Erik, I’m going to go mad before Sunday rolls around.” I sighed, sliding my hands around his waist and laying my head on his chest.
“I hope not…I would like you to retain some of your sanity for the wedding… though a straight jacket could be interesting…hmm, although it is rather kinky for my taste.” He quipped, kissing the top of my head chastely.
I let out a short laugh. “Cute dear…but I’m serious.” I looked up at him speculatively. “What are doing for breakfast?”
“Being as I will most likely wake at 5 o’clock and breakfast here is a bit later I will probably go out, why?” He raised an eyebrow, unable to follow my train of thought.
“Give me one of the copies of your room key and I’ll see you in the morning, sixish.” I kissed him lightly and ushered him into the car.
Slipping the key into my pocket, I watched him drive off, trying to think of a good excuse to go visit him in the morning…. You can’t tell your dad, ‘Could you wake me up exceedingly early so I can go engage in mindless debauchery with my fiancé?’”
In the end I lied…sort of. When I was in high school dad used to wake me up at five every morning so I could be ready for the 6:13 bus that went to my school or so I could use his van and drive myself (he’s a mover and they start the jobs early) Anyhow, I asked him to wake me up so I could hang out with him in the morning (when your dad’s a mover who works odd hours and all the days of the week, you spend time together when you can.) like we used to when I was in high school. We would watch old movies and play computer games together. So, no my mind was not completely steeped in smut…I wanted to spend time with my dad too.
“’Nifer…’Nifer…wake up.” I opened my eyes to see Dad kneeling down in front of me.
“Huh?” I commented intelligently (yeah, you see how intelligent you sound at five am!)
“Wake up kiddo!” He said a bit louder, throwing the blankets off of me.
I sat bolt upright and rearranged my nightgown so it covered my legs back up. “Don’t do that!”
Dad just smiled. “Then get up.”
I remembered after a moment why I was up so early. I hurried into the shower and was out fifteen minutes later.
Dad was at the computer and looked up when I came out of the bathroom. He motioned for me to come sit on his lap. I sat down and listened to the comforting sound of his heartbeat. “When do you have to go?”
“I have a few minutes…” He paused, holding me tighter. “Will you always be my little girl?” He asked in a half-hopeful, half-kidding tone.
“I’m not planning on growing anytime soon.”
“I’m serious…” He turned my face so I could look at him. “You’re getting married in a few weeks…I don’t want to think that means I’ll lose my little girl, that you’ve outgrown me.”
I planted a big kiss on his cheek and hugged him. “Never dad…I’ll never outgrow you.”
“Good.”
I leaned my head back
against his chest. “Dad?’
“Hmm?”
“What do you think of Erik?”
“I think you love him and he loves you and that is all that matters.”
“I love you dad.”
“I love you too ‘Nifer.”
After dad left for work (we watched part of Auntie Mame) I hopped in the second rental car (rented two in case we got a big group of family going somewhere) and drove off to see Erik.
I got to the hotel quickly despite the heavy morning traffic (could have been that I was speeding…could have been that I ran that red light…could have been that I was a little deprived… you never can tell) I opened the door gently. “Erik?” I called softly. It took me a moment for my eyes to adjust to the dim light, but I saw him. He was still in bed. Disney must have really worn him out. I thought. I stood next to the bed for a moment, just watching him sleep. Now, everyone-even the regal Phantom-looks cute while their sleeping. Erik was lying on his back, one arm above the blankets, flung across to the other side of the bed. Watching the gentle rise and fall of his chest I realized how tired I was.
With no thought in mind other than to sleep next to him, I doffed my shoes, pants and bra, so I was basically in what I wear to bed. I pulled up the blankets and slid in carefully, hoping not to disturb him. I snuggled up to his side, the five hours of sleep I’d gotten finally catching up with me. “Lisa?” He mumbled drowsily.
“Mmmhmm.” I asserted, laying my head on his shoulder.
“Good morning.” He said, trying to get up.
I held him back. “Stay…it’s too early to be morning…stay and keep me warm.”
He lay back down and wrapped an arm around me. My hand strayed slowly over his chest. “Do your parents know where you are?”
“I left a note saying I went to have breakfast with you and I’d be back around ten.” I explained, turning so I could plant a light kiss on his neck.
I felt him shiver a moment before he spoke. “Do you not think they will suspect you had something other than food in mind?”
I lifted myself on my elbow so I could look down on him. “Darling at this point I really don’t care what they suspect.” I bent down and began placing light kisses on his lips.
“But your grandparents…your father…Jayne…” He protested between kisses.
I pulled back from my assault. “Now, I’m sure we kind find something more pleasant to think about than my grandparents.” I slid a hand down the growing bulge in his silk boxers. “Don’t you agree?” I asked innocently.
“Yes.” Came the strained reply.
“Oh good.” I leaned in for another kiss and this time was met with an eager one in return.
After that many days of repression…ok, so it was only three…you got a point? Anyhow…we were a bit eager…for about two hours. All in all I fell sorry for anyone in that hotel that had planned on sleeping in. Though I must admit, we tried to be quiet (we just aren’t that good at quiet…c’mon. Erik’s an opera singer…not quiet by trade)
The rest of the trip went rather well…other than having Marie tease me for the rest of the day about where I had been that morning. (Actually it was worse when my brother started teasing me about it…some things you never want to discuss with your younger brother…smut is definitely one of them!)
We made it back in one piece and with no straightjackets (ie, the plane didn’t crash as Marie feared and I didn’t go mad despite another 3 smutless days at Dad’s) and were able to resume our debauchery.