Chapter Seven
Weeks passed uneventfully, or at
least as uneventfully as possible when one is an acquaintance of the Phantom of
the Opera's. Jenny spent her days in
arduous rehearsals, her evenings with Erik for her promised voice lessons, and
her nights sleeping in Christine's old dressing room.
Now that Christine was being paid a
decent salary, she could afford better housing, and had consequently moved into
a small flat nearby. Jenny just found
it comforting to be in this particular room; for the other one was dark and
packed with excess props and costumes.
Besides, this was the room where Erik had held her and sung to her with
his voice of velvet.
Most nights, she dreamed of that one
blissful encounter... but, as most dreams invariably tend to be what one wants
to happen, instead of comforting her with his only voice, he comforted her
with his body. She would feel his
gentle hands all over her body, unmindful of the many flaws. He would kiss her lips until they parted and
throbbed for more, until she was breathless with pleasure. Then he would make sweet love to her,
denying his own pleasure until she'd found hers, telling her how much he adored
her with every stroke and gaze.
But it would never be. And she knew it. They were only dreams, after all... fantasies that Jenny miserably
admitted would never come true. Damn
all men and their infernal insistence on desiring only women who rivaled
Aphrodite in beauty! Would it kill them
to look beyond spotted skin and spectacles, just maybe to find a truly
intelligent woman? Of course it would,
men wanted pretty ornaments to hang on their arms and every word! Curse them all!
Jenny sighed as she made her way up
to her dressing room. Her depression
over her bout with unrequited love had stolen her joy of music lately. Her conduct during rehearsal had been
less-than-ideal, her thoughts often drifting quite far way from the Opera House
and its grandly mediocre cast. As
usual, she had been contemplating life's inevitable cruelties concerning those
with less-than-perfect looks. Why was
it that human beings treated those who were different with contempt and
outright hatred?
"Good evening, Jenny."
Erik's voice echoed from behind the wall as she closed the door of the dressing
room. She had long since accustomed
herself to his rather interesting habit of jumping out of nowhere and was not
unduly alarmed. His tone mirrored hers
with its gloomy, disillusioned timbre and Jenny turned towards the mirror in
concern, despite her own melancholy mood.
"Is something wrong,
Erik?" she asked softly.
"Why would you care if there
were?" he countered with a note of bitterness.
"Oh, I don't know." she
narrowed her eyes at his unwarranted hostility. "Maybe because... I happen to care about you, you stupid
lout!"
With angry bravado, she flounced over
to her chair and sat, arms crossed firmly over her breasts and a pout on her
lips. There was a long silence, while
she heard Erik enter the room. She
refused to turn towards him, aware that she was acting just as unfairly, but
not caring.
Erik gave a mental sigh. It wasn't right of him to have taken his
recent rejection out on Jenny. Just
because Christine had exposed his face last night and was now terrified of him,
he couldn't blame Jenny for it. With an
apology on his lips, he reached for his one friend left in the world, planning
on stopping his fingers just short of her shoulder.
"I'm sorry, Jenny... I'm afraid
my temper has once again hurt you." he whispered.
She turned towards him at last, her
green eyes still bearing her pain. With
a small smile, she took his hand in hers, holding firmly when he attempted to
pull away. "Do you want to tell me
what's wrong?" she asked again.
"I don't know if I should. This is my problem, not yours." he
shook his head.
"Of course you should... I'm
your friend, and if you have a problem, then it's my job to help you if I
can." she insisted, indicating the chair opposite her.
He sat with an obedience that
immediately made her aware that he was not himself. The sadness that continually graced his eyes had straightened and
grown to overwhelming proportions. She
suddenly knew that whatever he was about to tell her, it was not going to be
easy to hear.
"I'm in love." he said
simply.
"Love?" she repeated the
word. Oh God, no! Please, no!
Don't do this to me!
"Yes... however, my love... is
not returned at all. It's... reviled,
in all truth. And I can't say I blame
her for that." he managed, his beautiful voice strained, as if he were
trying desperately not to cry.
"You can't be serious!"
Jenny exclaimed involuntarily. "What idiot would turn you away?"
He glanced up at her with an
unfathomable expression. "It's
because she's not an idiot that she wants no more to do with me. Besides... she's in love with someone
else... damn that infernal boy!"
"Might I ask who?" Jenny
asked innocently enough. So I can go
knock some sense into her feathered-head!
"It's Christine... Christine
Daae."
Oh, God... you don't play fair,
do you?! Jenny sat in shock, tears
clogging her throat and fogging her mind, but refusing to reach her eyes. The pain was too much. Not Christine! Not her friend! Anyone
but Christine! Christ, even her beloved
Erik only paid attention to the beauty goddesses! She barely heard Erik's ensuing poetry spiel of Christine's
attributes as her eyes suddenly focused on the small bottle of laudanum on her
dresser. Erik had given it to her when she'd left his house on the lake,
guaranteeing her that it would help her sleep through the night without
nightmares. The sudden impulse to drain
the bottle of its contents and just lay down to an eternal sleep was very near
irresistible.
"You've no idea how painful it
is to love someone who loves another." Erik's voice permeated her suicidal
thoughts, striking her as morbidly amusing in its familiarity. "It's like someone is ripping open your
heart and exposing it to thousands of tiny shards of glass."
"I can imagine." Jenny
replied mildly, gazing intently into her glass of water to hide the sudden
threat of tears. So... she had no
idea, hmmm? Try some constant
rejection on for size, mister... then tell me I have no idea! Quickly, she decided to ignore her
escalating despair and concentrate on helping poor Erik... no matter how
painful it might be.
"Listen," she said gently, placing a hand on
his sleeve in a gesture of comfort.
"Why do you think Christine would revile your love?"
He sighed again, deeper, as if the
weight of the world were settled on his shoulders. "Why do you believe I wear a mask, Jenny?"
She furrowed her brow in
confusion. "Well... I guess
because you just don't want to be recognized.
I thought because of the many crimes associated with the Phantom, you
wouldn't want to be discovered as being him."
"Good theories, all partial
reasons... but the most basic truth is different." he shook his head. "You see... I'm... I am hideously
deformed under this accursed mask."
"Deformed?" Jenny
repeated. "As in you were born
that way? Oh, for Heaven's sake... how
bad could it possibly be?"
"Bad." he hissed, pushing
her hand away violently when she would have reached up to touch the white
leather of the mask. "Christine
saw my face last night... and couldn't even scream, her fear was so great. I frightened fair-goers for years with this
face."
Jenny shrank back only slightly from
his leashed fury, aware that one wrong word could send him into a murderous
rage like the one she'd witnessed before.
"I'm sorry..." she
whispered, tears plain in her voice.
"I didn't know..."
Erik saw the glossiness in her eyes
and his temper instantly vanished. When
would he learn? This child had done
nothing to cause him pain in any way, why on earth did he insist on hurting her
every which way?
"Oh, Jenny..." he slipped
from his chair to kneel in front of her, clasping her hands between his. "Forgive me, ma chere. I didn't mean to frighten you... it seems
that no matter what I do... I'm scaring someone."
"You're not scaring me."
she shook her head, freeing one hand from his grasp to gently stroke his
unmasked cheek. She felt him stiffen at
the contact, apparently surprised that she had touched him voluntarily. "It's just... it can't be easy for
you."
"It's not." he allowed
with a wry smile at the understatement.
"You mean to tell me that you don't find me abhorrent now that you
know?"
"Of course not!" she
exclaimed. "I don't care what you
look like, I... I like you... you're my friend, no matter how ugly you may
be." She had managed to stop her
herself before blatantly confessing her love for him. What awful timing that would've been!
He smiled at her again, closing his
eyes, perhaps cherishing this taste of tenderness. With slow movements, he bent his head to lay it on her lap. Her heart nearly bursting with love, she
stroked his hair, wishing fervently that he could be happy... even if it meant
that she would be miserable.
"Thank you, mon ange."
he whispered. "You've no idea how
much that means to me."
"Maybe not... but then again,
maybe I do." she shrugged, determined to keep her own tender feelings at
bay for the time being.
He sat up with a deep breath,
deciding enough had been enough.
"I should leave. I need to
get some air before the performance tonight and you need to prepare for the bal
masque, I'm sure. You did get a
costume for the celebration, did you not?"
"Yes, Christine helped me pick
one out. But I don't really feel much
like going… no one pays me much mind." she sighed, knowing that she was
going to wind up planting herself next to the refreshment table.
"You should go, spend some time
with Christine and Meg, enjoy yourself a little. You've been working entirely too hard of late and you need to
relax." Erik insisted, not really knowing why he was so anxious for
Jennifer to attend.
"Maybe…" she shrugged
unconvincingly.
"Do I have to give you a direct
order, Jennifer?" Erik teased gently.
"Please, go… I'll be there if you need me for anything." What
in hell had possessed him to say that?
He had been planning on going incognito to make sure Christine didn't
try anything stupid.
"You're going?
I thought you hated crowds." she asked curiously.
"I do. But this is the one night when no one will
look at me twice for wearing a mask… I can slip through unnoticed and not be
restricted to the shadows." He explained.
"Well… as you wish, I'll
go." she nodded. "What sort
of costume will you be in?"
He smiled, foolishly pleased with
his clever costume. "Are you
familiar with the works of Edgar Allen Poe, Jennifer?"
"Yes, I happen to love his
work." she smiled in response.
"I shall be one of his
stories." he said cryptically before disappearing behind the wall.
"One of Poe's stories…"
she repeated to herself. "I
wonder…"
A few hours later, Christine knocked
on Jennifer's dressing room door and entered, wearing a fantastic princess
costume of blue satins and silks. There
were sapphire combs in her shining blonde hair and a matching choker adorning
her neck. The gown was absolutely
gorgeous, accenting her tiny waist and her shapely cleavage to the utmost
advantage.
Erik's eyes are going to roll
right out of his head when he sees her, Jenny thought wistfully as she
slipped into her own costume. She had
chosen to be an angel, hoping to keep any unwanted attention away from her with
anything more conspicuous. The dress
was a simple one of pure white silk with a gold cord cinching her waist. The bodice was quite a bit more revealing
than she was used to, with no sleeves and a diving neckline forming from the
thin straps. The wings that were attached
to her form-fitting corset were courtesy of the Opera costume department once
again; made of real feathers from a swan and spread out as though she were
about to fly away. Christine insisted
on styling Jenny's hair into intricate little braids that twisted and wove
around the crown of her head, leaving long tendrils frame her face and to
softly curl down her back. Silvery
eye-makeup and shimmery lip-stain completed the heavenly effect, making Jenny's
pale skin seem translucent. Her glasses
had been discarded almost entirely, tucked safely away in a small pouch
attached to her belt, so that she had them on-hand if she needed them.
"Splendid!" Christine
exclaimed when she was finished, turning Jenny to look in the mirror. To Jenny's intense surprise, she actually
looked… pretty! Rather than clinging
tightly to her figure, the dress draped gracefully and downplayed her weight a
bit. The makeup and hairstyle drew
attention to her face and the plunging neckline of the dress was rather
flattering.
"Are you certain
that's me?" Jenny laughed, happy that Erik had convinced her to attend. Perhaps this night wouldn't be so awful as
she may have thought.