| Omar Land |
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| Omar. Omar. Omar.What can I say. Omar is stupid. He is the dumbest person you can run into.When there is common sense around and someone acts dumb. Just say No Omar |
| Omar's Now Driving *Cop: "Do you know Why you got pulled over?" *Omar: "Hey, I slowed down, right?" *Cop: "You must come to a complete stop at the sign." *Omar: "Stop, Slowing down, What's the difference. *The cop starts to beat him up with the nightstick with no mercy. *Cop: "Do you want me to stop or Slow Down? |
| Riah *Riah's so stupid that he ordered his sushi well done *Riah's so stupid that he took a ruler to bed to see how long he slept. *Riah's so stupid that he got stabed at a shoot out. *Riah's so stupid that he sold his car for gas money. *Riah's so stupid that he took a spoon to the superbowl. *Riah's so stupid that he sits on the TV and watchs the couch. *Riah's so stupid that when you stand next to him, you can hear the ocean. |
| Again With Omar's Friends |
| Vinnie *Vinnie's so poor that he buys an imation of a fake Rolex. *Vinnie's so poor that he goes to KFC and licks other people's fingers *Vinnie's so poor that when someone steped on a cigarette he yells out "Who turned off the heat?" *Vinnie's so poor that his mom didn't have the money to have him. So the lady next store had him. *Vinnie's so poor that he lives in a crackjack box. *Vinnie's so poor that Burglars give him money. |
| Omar Thoughts *Can Vegetarians eat animal crackers? *Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? *If the police arresst a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent? *Would a fly without wings be called a walk? *If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked? *Is there another word for synonym? *How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign? *Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? *What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant? *Could it be that all those trick-or-treaters wearing sheets aren't going as ghosts but as mattresses? *Is the main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live? |
| Queso *Queso's so fat that elephants thorw him peanuts *Queso's so fat that his belt size is the equator. *Queso's so fat that his cereal bowl came with a lifeguard. *Queso's so fat that his belly doesn't have lent it has sweaters. *Queso's so fat that his swadow his strecth marks. *Queso's so fat that even Ricard Simmions laughs at him. *Queso's so fat that he has his own area code. *Queso's so fat that he makes big bird look like a rubber duck. *Queso's so fat that when he walks in front of the tv. You miss 5 minitines of the show. *Queso's so fat that when he wears a yellow coat they call him "Taxi". |
| Job Listings |
| Omar's Farting Treory |
| Alfonso *Alfonso's so old that his social security # is 1. *Alfonso's so old that he ran track with the dinosaurs. *Alfonso's so old that his birth certificate expired *Alfonso's so old that his birth certificate is in roman numerals. |
| Jose *Jose's so ugly that he made an onion cry. *Jose's so ugly that he tied a steak around his neck just so the dog will play with him. *Jose's so ugly that he tried to enter an ugly conest but they said "Sorry, no professionals." *Jose's so ugly that he looked out the window and got arrested for mooning |
| Johnny's Corner: Things that get me mad *When people point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is man!! Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is? *People who are willing to spend hours seaching for the remote. When they can just change the channel manually. You sick freaks!! *When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course it is you idiot. Why would you keep looking after you've found it? Man!! *People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". You stupid person you. Shut up!!!! *When people say while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No I didn't Harry!! I paid 9.00 dollars to come to the Alco and stare at the stupid ceiling up there. What did you come here for? ... *When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? Dang!! You should know you doughnut eating pig!! You pulled me over!!! Man!!!!!!! *When people say "Life is short." Shut up!!!! *When people ask "Can I BORROW a piece of paper?" Sure, but please don't return the favor. You stupid idoit, why are you going to give it back. man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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| Omar's Reasons to be a man *Your backside is never a factor in a job interview *Your last name stay put. *Your belly usually hides your big hips. *One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons. *The same hair style last for years. *Your underwear is 10 dollars for a three-pack. *People never glance at your chest when you are talking to them. *You get to write your name in the snow. |
| Omar's favorite movie This is a stupid movie but it is Omar's favorite movie. I guess it was dumber than his last favorite movie, SuperNova. Click here to see it. |
| Omar's guide to Female English *Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful *Do you love me? = I'm asking for something expensive. *I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and nap. *I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep *Yes = No *No = No *Maybe = No *I'm sorry = You'll be sorry *I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset you moron! *We need to talk = I need to complain *Do what you want = You'll pay for this later. |
| Omar's Funny Page You really need to click here or click here to see this cool page because you will not regret it. I was so impressed by the result of the finished product and I know that if you are still reading this, you should be ashamed of yourself. |
| Omar's Your a Canadain When.. *You drink Pop, not Soda *You get excited whenever an American television show mentions Canada *Every murder is reported. *You froze your tongue to something metal and survived to tell about it. *You actually understand these jokes, and forward them to all of your Canadian friends. And then you send them to your American friends just to confuse them.. further. |
| Omar says: Women are like Newpapers because... *Older ones are not in demand. *They're well worth looking over. *You can't believe everything they sy. *They have a great deal of influence. *They always have the last word. |
| Omar's Ways of Saying No *I have to check the freshness dateds on my dairy products. *I've got plans to go downtown to try on gloves. *I'm teaching my ferret to yodel. *I have to go to Riah's house. *The nice man on television told me to stay tuned. |
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| This site is not copyrighted by me and Omar please do not be offended by any of this. Well just a little. |
| Inside Omar's Mind *If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cores, why is there a song about him? *Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out. *Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt." *If Wille E. Coyote had enough money to buy all the Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner? *Does the Alphatbet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Why did you try singing the songs above? *Do illitereate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup? *Why in the world am my so gay? Oh wait... |
| NEW |
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| *Queso gets bad rashes if he eats cheese *Johnny is Neo's stunt double in the Matrix. *Michael's a really really really really hot male model. *Riah can't grow any chest hair. *Russell isn't the creator of Russdawg's tv. *Brain is the creator of Russdawg's tv. *Angelo's favorite band is Tatu. *Randy and Uriel really enjoyed the lifesaver game. *Pulga is smaller than Gary Coleman. *Michelle is really asian. *Jamin uses tampons for TP *Pepe's Pregent *Miguel's the limit to everybody's equation. *Alfonso broke up and got back together with Sara more than 34 times. *Travina's secertly is a millionaire. *Omar is spokesperson for viagra. *Fernerdo tried out for American Iode. *Bobby is a conartist. *Jose has bad blood with the Mafia. |
| Omar's Friends: Things you never knew |
| *Tanner really is gay. *Vinnie and David cheated on Riah. *David left the MBW because he can't hang with the big boys. *Jessica, Jesus, and Griselda left Douglas to get away from Miguel. *Ramon sold his spleen for some Yu-Gi-Yo cards. *Chris, Aaron, and Frank sucked at chess. *Cory went out with Jesus for his money. *Michael's (Miguel's roommate) favorite team is Duke. *Eduardo's even more gay when he's drunk. *Renee's favorite sport is Elk hunting. *Kevin loves the X-Box *Daniel is taller than The Rock *Marcos is not a guy. *Richard is also not a guy. *Stephen is planning to become the president. *Isaiah's favorite show is Will and Grace. *Alex is the meanest person ever. *Omelisa and Joanna were rejects from the Spice Girls. |
