Omar Land

Omar. Omar. Omar.What can I say. Omar is stupid. He is the dumbest person you can run into.When there is common sense around and someone acts dumb. Just say No Omar

Omar Sayings
*A few clowns short of a circus
*A few fries short of a happy meal
*A few cans short of a six-pack
*All foam No Soda
*24 cents short of a quarter
*Proof that evolution does go backwards
*Forgot to pay the Brain Bill
*The light's are on and nobody's home
*Not the sharpest knife in the drawer

Riah
*Riah's so stupid that he got locked super market and stave.
*Riah's so stupid that he smashed open a TV hoping to find a TV dinner.
*Riah's so stupid that he got hit by a parked car.
*Riah's so stupid that he got food stamps in the mail and ate them.
*Riah's so stupid that he tried to blow out a light bulb.
*Riah's so stupid that he tried to drown a fish.
*Riah's so stupid that he triped over a cordless phone.

20 Things not to say to a naked man
20: Were you neutered?
19: Are you Cold?
18: Can I be honest with you?
17: What is that?
16: Thanks I needed a toothpick.
15: Oh no a flash headache
14: Is that a optical illision?
13: You must be a growing boy.
12: Where's the rest of it.
11:Maybe if we water it will grow.
10: Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
9: My 8 year-old cousin has one like that.
8:(giggle and point)
7: Does it come with a air tank.
6:This explains your car.
5: Damn I hate baby-sitting
4: Let me go get my tweezers.
3: I didn't know they came that small.
2: Wow your feet are so big.
1:Aww, it's hiding.

Omar's pickup lines.
*The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
*I want to melt in your mouth, not in you hand.
*Why don't you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart?
*Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.
*If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?
*Is it hot in here or is it just you?
*If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.
*Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!
*I'd look good on you.
*Do you know CPR because you take my breath away.
*Hi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?
*Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it.
*I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.
*I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?
*Are those pants from outer space? Cause that butt is out of this world.
*Are you a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you.

Queso
*Queso's so fat that he eats his cereal out of a satellite dish.
*Queso's so fat that his driver's liences says picture continues on the other side.
*Queso's so fat that he sell's shade.
*Queso's so fat that when he goes on the elevater it HAS to go down.
*Queso's so fat that I can run around him twice and get lost.
*Queso's so fat that he has to iron his pants on the highway.
*Queso's so fat that he has more chins than a Chinese phonebook.

Omar's Friends

Vinnie
*Vinnie's so poor that beggars give him money.
*Vinnie's so poor that someone saw him kicking a can down the street, and when asked what he was doing He said, "moving"
*Vinnie's so poor that the got married for the rice.
*Vinnie's so poor that when someone asks where the bathroom is, he says "pick a corner...any corner."
*Vinnie's so poor that Burglars bring things to him.

You know your broke when....
*You finally clean your house , hoping to find change.
*You think of a lottery ticket as an investment.
*Your idea of a 7-course meal is taking a deep breath outside a restaurant.
*You're in college.
*You have to save up to be poor.
*You wash your toilet paper.
*McDonald's supplies you with all your kitchen condiments.
*You give blood everyday... just for the orange juice.

More Omar Sayings
*The chesse slid off his cracker.
* He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
*Dumber than a box of hair.
*The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
*He has less going on upstairs than a one story house.
*If he had another brain, it would be lonely.
*As smart as bait.
*Chimney's clogged.
*Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
*His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
*Looks like an Omar.

Omar's Reasons for being single.
*I could leave the toilet seat in any position I please.
*I'd get to see what my paycheck looks like.
*I'd get to see what my credit cards look like.
*I would have saved $372,21721
*You can see a diffent face when you wake up in the morning, every day of the week
*When asked his opinion, a single guy can say "Heck yes, You're fat!"

Sayings, telling you that she doesn't like you
*Omar: "is this seat empty?"
woman:"Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
*Omar: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
* Omar: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "it's in the phone book."
*Omar: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "that's in the phone book too."
*Omar: "Hey baby what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"
*Omar: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
*Omar: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

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This page is not copyrighted by me. This page is just for fun and to make fun of my friend Omar. Stupid Omar.