| PICK-UP LINE REBUTTALS!!! |
| A man walks up and says, "Haven't we met before?" Say, "Yes, I'm , the receptionist at the V.D. Clinic." In the department "nice turn downs" there's this one: I'll have to think about that, thinking makes me tired, when I'm tired I want to sleep, not make love, so let's not, okay? He: So, wanna go back to my place? She: Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? He: I'd really like to get into your pants. She: No thanks. There's already one asshole in there. The most memorable rebuttal to a turn down (used by the guy who used to live across the hall from me in residence) when he asked a girl to dance and she refused was: Don't thank me, thank God somebody asked you. (In reply to No, thank you). He: I'd like to call you. What's your number? She: It's in the phone book. He: But I don't know your name. She: That's in the phone book too. There's always Harlan Ellison's great failure: Q: Wha'dya say to a little fuck? A: Go away, little fuck. He: So what do you do for a living? She: Female impersonator. He: You know, I'd really love to travel to exotic places with you. She: (tries to ignore him) He: You know what? I also love sex. What do you say to that? She: Hmmm...you really love sex and travel? He: (nods his head smiling) She: Then go take a fuckin' hike!!! I like the line I once heard in a movie. This guy was trying to pick up this girl, and she said to him, "Can you pound a railroad spike through a 2x4 with your hardon?" To which he merely shudders a negative. She says, "Well, a girl's gotta have her standards." Voulezvous vous coucher avec moi ce soir? (Would you like to go to bed with me tonight?) Je voudrais bien, mais je n'ai rien a porter. (I would love to, but I have nothing to wear.) Q: What sign were you born under? A: No Parking. A guy comes up to a girl and tells her some pickup line. She grabs his crotch, looks down at it, looks back at him, and says, "Sorry, I don't see any potential here" and nonchalantly walks off. And here's one including the correct snappy return He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilized, fuck off! After hearing a pickup line: I like your approach, now let's see your departure. A girlfriend of mine once had a graying man in his 60's approach her in a club while she was in college with the line, "Where have you been all my life?" She took one glance at him and said, "For the first half of it, I wasn't even born yet." A friend of mine came up with a very quick response over vacation. We were walking down the street and I glanced at a girl who had just walked by. She turned around and said to me, "What are you looking at?" My friend, walking next to me came to the rescue, "He thought you were good looking, but he was mistaken." |