While I try not to generalize, I find Korean women to be single minded in one area. Almost are Korean women are family oriented and even though in the new Korea they are more career oriented than ever before, their primary goal is to get married and raise a family. While they tend to marry at an older age than previous generations, they still have dreams of domestic bliss combined with keeping their day job. Like many koreans, both male and female, they know their ultimate goals from a very young age, much younger I believe than western children.
Generally, Korean women are a very sensible, no nonsense group and have much different ideas about the perfect mate than women in the west. While of course they would prefer a handsome husband, it's a man with a brain who they find really sexy. Once again that Korean practicality raises its ugly head as they think about providing for their children who are still just unfulfilled dreams. They want men who can take care of them financially. Gonna be a doctor, well, you're a stud muffin to those ladies, the buck teeth and constant nose picking doesn't matter. Once she has won you over, she can mold you into her dream man.
Korean women I have met are, while not reserved, sometimes afraid to let go and relax. Laughing for example always seems to be hidden by a shy hand. Respectable Korean ladies show reserved affection to their man in public and to male friends. Some foreigners mistake this for coldness or an inability to be intimate. It's more a case of severe shyness combined with self respect. Passion is saved for behind closed doors and I can tell you from first hand experience that they can really let it all hang out when they get you alone. Now, this is a generality and some young couples can be seen necking or fondling in public, but it is a rariety here, and being an old soul I can appreciate a Korean woman who keeps her passions subdued.
Korean women also have grown up often with having close platonic relationships with men, who they aren't interested in as a mate. Western men often misunderstand this as an interest beyond friendship, as I did a couple of times, but unless you talk about what's happening between you, don't assume. Male, female friendships can seem to us to be of a romantic nature, while it could be no further than the truth. Korean women don't use the same signals as western women, generally, and their inherent naivity makes them wonder why your upset at their innocent flirting or touching being nothing more than innocent acts of friendship.
Making a familiar relationship with a Korean woman is easy, and I have many Korean female friends, but taking it to a romantic level can be difficult. There are several hurdles you might have to leap if you want to bring a Korean fiance home to meet the folks.
The hardest is the Korean "Law of Blood." This is actually apart of the Korean constitution and basically it states that it is the duty of every Korean to keep the blood lines true. A true traditionalist would never marry a non-Korean and even though you're girlfriend might be more open minded, her parents are not. Koreans are extemely family oriented and many Korean women will never marry a man their parents, especially their mother doesn't approve of. I have heard of quite a few weeping foreingner men who were informed they were not an acceptable mate for their daughter. Thankful, these xenophobic ideals are slowly disappearing, but is still very much pravelent in today's Korea. In many ways I can understand and agree with the Law of Blood, especially with Koreas violent and invader plagued history, so I would suggest that before you fall head over heels with your Korean companion, find out where you stand. Is this just a fling, a little foreigner booty, to brag to their friends about or is it going to be something long term and permenent. Talking about your relationship at an early stage, and where it might or might not go, can save you both alot of grief. I know of a few guys who fell head over heels for a lovely, young Korean lady and wanting to have a serious relationship to be stopped cold by her parents.
Foreign guys have a few advantages over Korean men. First, we are often viewed more handsome than we really are, primarily because we look so different than our male counterparts. Korean men tend to be made more or less from the same mold, physically and socially, and many young Korean women are simply bored with the awkward advances of their native beaus. Most Korean men, that I know, wouldn't know how to seduce a woman if their lives depended on it. Western men, generally, have more experience in wooing the opposite sex and stand out as a welcome change from the same old tired conversations.
While many Koreans are fiercely patriotic and the idea of immigrating to another country is the farthest thing from their mind, some Korean women feel bound by their countries views of their standing and expectations of them. Though Korea is becoming more liberated as to the roles of women in their society, it is moving too slowly for some due to the dinosaur traditionalists who still hold much of the power here. Men really don't want their women's role to change. In the west, we would view this attitude as male chauvenism, but here it is just the cultural norm. This is causing more and more women to seek mates who are more liberal minded and westerners fit the bill perfectly. The problem then becomes is your new love ready to give up her beloved homeland and move to the West or are you ready to spend the rest of your life in Korea. Immigrating to Korea is possible, but is not made easy by the Korean government, who seem to discourage westerners from making a life for ourselves here. Once again, think ahead, where will you live when you're burned out from teaching and isolation. When your native soil calls to you are too strong to deny.
Sorry if this article didn't come out like you thought it would, but you have to think about these things when you're dealing with thoughts of long term relationships with any woman from a country not your own. So, go for it, but use a little common sense. Casual dating can be fun in Korea, the problem is most Korean women don't understand the concept. They are husband hunting and you could be the quarry. Don't be caught like a deer in the headlights.
I once asked a Korean lady out for Sunday brunch and was very surprised when she showed up with two male bodyguards, I mean friends. I knew both young men, so when she went to the bathroom I asked them why they were there. They explained that it was traditional for new couples to be shaporoned on their dates as a way to protect the woman's virtue. Was it common for a Korean man to invite a woman out on a date and then trick her into the nearest Love Hotel? I guess my date wasn't taking any chances. So, don't be surprised if you ask out a Korean woman and she brings her friends. You are still expected to cover the bill for all of them as well.
Another time I was out sightseeing with a 21 year old, beautiful Korean girl, and as we were walking along she started holding my hand and we weren't even crossing the street. I told her I was flattered, but that I was old enough to be her father. Actually, she told me I was older than her father and it is common for close friends to hold hands while out. It is just a platonic sign of friendship, no strings attached. Too bad they don't feel the same way about causual sex.
