Shippou: Hurray! (Does a "Happy Kitsune Midair Jumping Jack.")
MJ: (staring at Shippou) Okaaaaay . . . .
Kenshin: (entering the scene) Begging everyone’s pardon, is there room for one more, de gozaru ka?
Spike: Sure why not?
Sano: Ninzuu ga oukere be oui hodo yukai da. [The more, the merrier.]
Kenshin: Nihao, Sanosuke. Doushitano, de gozaru.
Sano: Eh? (Scratches head under the sacred fishing hat.) Kenshin nandatte?
Kenshin: Oro? (Looks very confused.) Did I miss something, de gozaru yo?
MJ: Um, yeah . . . y’see Ken-san, our good friend XJo-Chan is currently possessing Tori Atama over there. [tori atama = chicken head]
Kenshin: What? How?
MJ: (taking Kenshin under her wing) It’s kind of a long story. Tea?
Kenshin: Please. (They walk off to get some tea.)
Rin: (peeking out from her hiding place behind a chair) Who’s the man with the funny red hair?
Fluffy: (pounces) Ah-HA! (Scoops up a squealing Rin and begins to tickle her.) Found you!
Rin: (shrieks with laughter) Oh no! Help! (Laughs helplessly. Fluffy is actually smiling and seems to be having fun.)
{Cuteness level: Approaching nauseating again.}
(Gradually, Fluffy notices the rest of the cast watching this little scene.)
IY: *mockingly Well, well . . . .
Fluffy: Stuff it, half-breed.
Neko: *swat* Bad Fluffy. Play nice.
IY: Don’t suppose we could fashion a rosary for my dear brother, do you?
Neko: Take it up with the author. I’m not gonna do it.
Rin: (hugs Fluffy, still giggling) Aishiteru yo, Fluffy-sama!
{Cuteness level meter burns out.}
All: Awww . . . . *beat*
[AN: All the characters speak their native language on the bus, be it Chinese, Japanese, English or whatever. The dialogue is subtitled inside everyone else’s brains, so they hear it and understand it instantly. Names and nicknames are not translated, so Sesshoumaru has no idea that he’s been dubbed "Fluffy." Rin heard Tani’s line and misinterpreted "Fluffy" as a word rather than a name. She’s young, give her a break. Anyway, she just called Sesshoumaru "Kebadatteiru-sama." To save everyone from scrambling for a dictionary, "kebadatteiru" means "fluffy." The secret’s out. This should be good.]
Fluffy: -.-* Chotto matte . . . what did you call me, Rin?
Rin: "Fluffy-sama" . . . . That’s what Neko-san called you . . . . *confused*
Fluffy: -.-*** So . . . (turns to Neko, looking rather murderous) . . . you’ve been calling the prince of the western lands "Fluffy," have you?
Neko: ^.^;;; Eh heh heh heh . . . . sort of . . . .
Fluffy: O.O**** WHY YOU . . . . *scary background lightning*
Rin: Onegai, Fluffy-sama! I like it! It’s pretty! (Throws her arms around his neck, thereby hampering his ability to shred Neko to a pulp. Fluffy glances back and forth between Rin, who is giving him the booboo-sad-puppy pleading face, and Neko, who looks as if she’d like nothing more than to run away and hide.)
*LONG OMINOUS PAUSE*
Fluffy: Well . . . all right. (Everyone lets out the breath they didn’t know they were holding.)
K-Chan: OK, this is way too serious, let’s have some fun!
All: Yeah! (Cut to stage. Neko, K-Chan, MJ, Trin, and Tani perform "Josie and the Pussycats," except they say "Neko and the Pussycats." The song ends to much applause.)
MJ: *after the applause has died down* OK, people, we’re going to reset the stage a bit now and then . . . (gets a dangerous look in her eyes) I want some VOLUNTEERS, people! Volunteers or victims, SOMEbody’s gonna sing! And guys . . . . (glances at Fluffy; lowers voice) . . . . no Disney songs, OK? (Laughter.)
Fluffy: *indignantly* Keh.
[Ten minutes and some rearrangements later . . . . ]
(No one has yet volunteered. MJ is not particularly happy about this, but she has a plan . . . . )
MJ: OK, people, get quiet. (Pauses when this has no effect.) *loudly* Y’all shut up now! (Crowd quiets.)
K-Chan: M-Chan, if you launch into a lecture on neural biology, I’m gonna swat you.
MJ: Don’t worry. *to audience* Now, I noticing that no one . . . not a single person . . . has volunteered to participate in the Karaoke Fest. That disturbs me . . . but it’s also rather convenient. You see . . . (gestures to band) . . . we’ve got a little surprise for you.
(Audience screams in terror and there is a mad dash for the exits.)
MJ: (speaks over them) As I’m sure you all know, every good anime series has a theme song. But, for some reason, The Continued Adventures of the Blue Psychedelic Ghetto Bus of DOOM Doom doom never has . . . until now. Fellow cast members, I give you "Birdhouse In Your Soul." Hit it, girls.
(Opening music plays; K-Chan on bass, Neko on guitar, Trin on tambourine, Chan on drums, Tani on keyboards, MJ on vocals.)
I’m your only friend, I’m not your only friend,
But I’m a little glowing friend, but really I’m not actually your friend,
But I am . . . . *music swells*
Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch who watches over you.
Make a little birdhouse in your soul.
Not to put too fine a point on it, say I’m the only bee in your bonnet.
Make a little birdhouse in your soul.
I have a secret to tell from my electrical well.
It’s a simple message and I’m leaving out the whistles and bells.
So the room must listen to me, filibuster vigilantly.
My name is Blue Canary one note spelled l-i-t-e.
My story’s infinite. Like the Longines Symphonette, it doesn’t rest.
Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch who watches over you.
Make a little birdhouse in your soul.
Not to put too fine a point on it, say I’m the only bee in your bonnet.
Make a little birdhouse in your soul.
I’m your only friend, I’m not your only friend,
But I’m a little glowing friend, but really I’m not actually your friend,
But I am . . . .
Bluebird of friendliness. Like guardian angels, it’s always near.
Blue canary in the outlet by the light switch who watches over you.
Make a little birdhouse in your soul.
Not to put too fine a point on it, say I’m the only bee in your bonnet.
Make a little birdhouse in your soul.
And while you’re at it, leave the night light on inside the birdhouse in your soul.
Not to put too fine a point on it, say I’m the only bee in your bonnet.
Make a little birdhouse in your soul.
(More cheers and applause from the audience. Neko and the Pussycats take a bow. Fade out.)
Next Episode