Just to let you all know in advance (‘cause I know at least a dozen people who are gonna KILL me deader than a raccoon who has been up-close-and-personal with all eighteen wheels of a semi) this story was NOT, repeat NOT, my idea. My
ex-boyfriend, who BTW doesn’t know or like anime as much as I do, came up with the idea and well . . . .
OK, so I thought it was funny . . . in a . . . sadistic sort of way . . . just read it.
Kenji’s Question
Grudgingly Written At Someone Else’s Request By: Nizuno Mikomi
Everything was so peaceful . . . .
“Mommy,” Kenji suddenly piped up. “Is Daddy a transsexual?”
Kenshin stumbled and failed to block Yahiko’s swing, resulting in a rather large goose egg on his noggin and a loud “ORO?!”. Yahiko tripped over the hem of his hakama and fell face down in the courtyard dust. Sano accidentally swallowed the fishbone he had been chewing on, choked for a minute, then hacked it back up. Kaoru stared wide-eyed at her son.
“Na-Nandatte, Kenji?” she stuttered. Kenji stared at his mother as if she were stupid.
“Is Daddy a transsexual?”
Dead silence.
So many sweatdrops appeared, you would have thought it was raining.
“Kenji . . . where did you hear that word?” Kaoru managed.
“Some guy with blonde hair in the market this morning,” the mini-Himura replied, matter-of-factly. “He said Otou-san looks like a girl and then he said that I should ask if Daddy was a transsexual. Is he?”
More dead silence. Kenshin turned a shade of red normally reserved for tomatoes.
Seconds later, Sano and Yahiko began to guffaw loudly. The happily chirping birdies in the sakura trees took flight to get away from the horrendously loud noise.
“Well, I dunno much about gender-bending,” Sano gasped out. “But that certainly would explain the pink gi!”
“It’s not pink, de gozaru na! It’s MAGENTA!” Kenshin insisted, turning redder still. This only made Yahiko and the lanky bandit laugh even harder.
“IT’S PINK! IT’S PINK!” Yahiko howled, holding his aching ribs and rolling on the ground.
“IT IS NOT! IT IS NOT!” Kenshin hollered back.
“IS TOO!”
“IS NOT!”
“IS TOO!”
“IS NOT!”
Kaoru sweatdropped as the two began to squabble like . . . well, children. She turned back to her son.
“Kenji-chan,” she said gently. “Your father is not a transsexual”
“Even if he DOES wear girly colors,” Sano put in, earning four dainty knuckle prints in his jaw from the temperamental raccoon girl.
“If Daddy was a transsexual,” she continued, not missing a beat, “You wouldn’t be here.” Kenji’s little face took on a thoughtful expression.
“Oh.”
“Yes, son, there’s a big difference between transsexual and transvestite.”
Yet more dead silence. Kenshin looked as if he would like nothing more than for the earth to open up and swallow him.
“Kaoru-dono,” he said quietly, “I thought we agreed not to mention that to anyone.”
“Oops . . . .” Kaoru sweatdropped again. Kenji looked from one parent to another, confused.
“Mommy, what’s a transvestite?”
“I’ll tell you when you’re older.”
~* OWARI *~
WAAAAAUUUUUUGH! DON’T HURT ME! IT WASN’T MY IDEA! REALLY!
(Seriously, folks, it wasn’t. I love Kenshin, he’s cool. Unfortunately, my ex-boyfriend was a little more irreverent than I am
when it comes to questioning a character’s sexual preferences.)
(KOISHII, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!)
Please send all reviews, remarks, death threats, and cease and desist notes to BlueEcho117@hotmail.com. All flames will be used to boil water for mac&cheese.
