| July 28th,2003*9:45am. Back to the usual life... which i don't mind, but... Skylar's developed this "whine" since he returned from his grandpa's house... its driving me insane!!! He's getting so big... I'm soo excited! I mean, I enjoy him growing and developing before me, but i'm looking forward to playing games and sports with him, taking him to his first day of pre-k, doing crafts with him on rainy days... future looks wonderful and i can't wait to get there... Andy and I talk about the future-ya know, how we invision Skylar-and I worry that our opposite ways will ruin us... i shouldnt worry, i love him and he loves me, and I know that we will never let things and/or emotions get the better of us... i still worry and wonder though. I'm just glad that we can talk together about this and make it all better. I guess I'm like every other spouse in this country{becuase I worry}, I shouldnt worry becuase what's meant to be will be. It will always cross my mind though... Mishi |
| July 30th,2003*1:56pm. Sometimes i wonder why we are even here... what is god's plan? what is the point? I must say that 6 yrs ago i had nothing to live for (truly to live for that is) and now I do... but sometimes i wish I could go back and be innocent again and not a have a care in the world(besides getting in trouble for stayin up past my bedtime to watch nick at nite's "The Dick Van Dyke Show") I dunno, we're always trying to grow up so quick and now i'd gladly take all that i've expericanced in those years back just feel like i did when i was 15 and alive- that is alive just to learn and grow, and not knowing the difference between the two. *sigh* I guess i will never truly experiance that happiness of childhood again... i just hope to be able to let Skylar experiance it like i did(and hopefully or more often that i did so he can be happiest boy in the world!)I know my parents tried to make me happy and make my childhood a good one (or at least my dad tried to) but i worry that the cycle will continue and that no matter what Skylar will suffer... lets hope i'm strong enough to to stop that from ever happening. Mishi |
| *My Online Diary *By: Mishi |