 SHARON
ANN SCOTT (Sassy) Hello and Welcome to My breast cancer Journey.
First, let me say, I do not believe in capitalizing
breast cancer, I do not want to make it think it is that important.
My journey began on December 18, 1995. I was 42 and had not had a mammo as yet, when I noticed a sore on the side of my right breast, it looked like a pimple and it was sore to touch. So, as the myth goes, with cancer there is no pain…..I learned this was wrong, oh boy did I learn! Ok, I was scheduled for heel spur surgery and had to have a pre-op physical for which I sought out an internist, as I had not a family doctor at this time. The internist told me that it looked like an infected hair and put warm moist compresses on it. This I did and after I was well and truly done with my heel spur adventure, this infected hair was still there and seem to be bigger than before!!!. I'm freaking out now so I called my Gyn and she had me come in right then and there. Checked the sore and sent me straight to the hospital for a mammo, it was a suspicious lump? Lump, not an infected hair? Oh nooooo, if its breast cancer, I'm going to die!!!!, oh the thoughts and fears going through me at this time were all too overwhelming! The Fear of the UNKNOWN now invades my thoughts, making me even more overwhelmed. Of course at that time I did not know about the Fear of the Unknown……yet…… I had my first Mammogram, it was not clear, so they wanted to do an Ultrasound. This, they told me would tell us if the "suspicious lump" was liquid, which meant it may be a cyst, or solid which takes us back to the word I have grown to hate the most in the world…SUSPICIOUS!!! I then had to do some more waiting and not knowing until the surgeon's office called to let me know that he had the mammo/ultrasound results and this was still a suspicious lump. We made an appointment to see him on December 28th, 1995 when I was told that this mass was very very very (yes you know the next word) 'suspicious'. Just what does suspicious mean???? Ominous, fully unknowing, or is it just an easy way to say, "I am pretty sure its cancer". Then he tells us we need to do a biopsy of the suspicious mass/lump! So this word 'suspicious' bounced around that exam room like a rubber ball! We were both in tears, scared and all sooo unknowing of whats next. Am I gonna die or whats up with this suspicious stuff? I then thought, "I want this done as soon as it can be, on a need to know in a hurry basis" So I fanangled my surgeon into doing the excisional biopsy, also axillary dissection (a two-fer yeeehaaa!) on the very next day December 29th, 1995. This was not easy as all this testing and other stuff was all going on during the Christmas Holidays, scariest Christmas we have ever had! More waiting on pathology from my biopsies'. After they were done my surgeon came into the recovery room and told me "Sharon I'm sorry but you have breast cancer" ……… Merry Christmas Sharon and Phil… Happy New Year….on January 1st, 1996 my surgeon called for us to come into his office that day to go over some of the path reports that had been completed. Now, THIS, was ominous as we did not have to set up an appointment or anything and all horrible news was going through our minds. So, we went to his office and he told us a bit about my breast cancer. That it had spread to my lymph nodes, grade 3 and poorly differentiated. AND that I needed a Modified Radical Mastectomy!!! I was more scared now and all I could think of was to get this dang cancer out of me, take my breast, if need be take both of them if you would please! The other breast removal could not be done as he told us that the insurance would not pay for it and also at this time I may not be thinking too straight and might regret having the second breast off too….. I was set up for the Right Modified Radical Mastectomy on January 4th, 1996, early morningish, like 6:00 am. 21 of my lymph nodes were removed. I hate hospitals and I wanted out as soon as I could, so, I went home the next day, drain in place, mummy wrapped around chest. One week later I had my first surgeons appointment after the surgery. He took a few staples out and we talked. He had a bit more information of my tumor by this time. 12 of the 21 lymph nodes that were taken were positive for cancer! And I was estrogen receptor negative. He also told me that if it were approved at this time I would be a good candidate for her2neu gene testing. Hey whatever that was??? And he went on to tell us that he needed to refer me to an oncologist-------chemotherapy??? ME??? Hey surgical removal of my breast wasn't enough!!!!! Oncology appointment was set and Phil and I went. This doc was worse than the surgeon, scarier too…… He also had more test results about my cancer. I was stage 3a, which he said, was teetering between 2a and 3a and because I had 12 positive nodes out of 21 this carried me on over to stage 3a. I had a 2.5cm lump plus other little masses within the breast tissue. He told us that I would need a port put in for the chemo to be administered through. So I had the port put in, hey he cut up my 3 lucky starts that used to shoot up from my cleavage! Now the stars were all deformed, well hey I had no cleavage either!!! We discussed my options for chemotherapy protocol. One was to do CMF than Rads or the Italian method, the more the better. It was called The Bonadia (sp) method. It consisted of Adriamycin 4 times, CMF 6 times and then onto radiation or Stem Call Transplant. By that time I was delving into the NET, oh thank heavens for the Internet!!! I learned soooo much. Enough that I could make a logical decision, phew! I said no to Stem Cell, thinking that if I should need it later it would be still available, that I should try the conventional chemotherapy and radiation. So I chose Adriamycin x 4 and cmf x 6. I had to go through yet more testing to see if my cancer had spread anywhere else in my body besides my lymph nodes. Bone scan, CT Scan, Chest X-ray, blood work including tumor markers = CA 29-27 and CEA and a mugascan for my heart to make sure that it was healthy enough to be able to withstand the Adriamycin. I passed all tests! Praise the Lord!!! I was to start my chemotherapy on the Jan.
30,1996, I had a couple of weeks to rethink all that was happening to my
body and mind, trying to explain to my kiddos who at the time were Phillip
10, Aaron 9 and Kari 5. So age appropriate conversations went on between
them and us. This was sooooo hard and I had thought that the hardest thing
that we had been through in our 15 years of marriage was the premature
birth of our first child, Phillip, weighing in at 1 pound 15 ounces!!!!
Now, realising that he was the first miracle that we were to see with our
own eyes….now this……
Now, I was terrified of having my port accessed, never been there never, so the nurse explained things to me and as she put in the needle I took a deep breath and phew! Viola! It was done. I was getting my first chemo treatment. On my way to killing these ole cancer cells. My Mum had sent me Bernie Siegel audiotapes. What I got out of these was the visionary imagery. I chose to envision microscopic Polar Bears that were ravenously hungry and scarfing all those cancer cells they could find as the chemo drugs were entering my body. The Adriamycin was a kicker, kicked my butt right to bed!!! I did not have too much nausea though achy bones and tired I was…..My counts stayed good through 4 of these treatments. I finished with this chemo and went onto the CMF = Cytoxan, Methotrexate, 5FU fluorouracil and I was also just getting ready for my rads simulation….oh boy……I was told that whilst I was having radiation the oncologist advised that I forego the Methotrexate because it could cause major burning, so I went without this. My first dose of CMF was actually CF. The next chemo appointment I had decided that I was missing this chemo and it would not be as affective with just CF. I wanted to try having the M as well during my 36 radiation appointments so my oncologist let me. Oh boy, what did that onc say about enhanced burning??????…Duh, oh well, my neck was very crispy to say the least so I had 1 CMF and 5 CF. Later during one of my rad checkups the doc noticed a bumpy something on my scar line! Oh noooooo! I have reoccurred already!!!! No this can't be!!!! So, felt like I flew to the surgeon's office and he biopsied it right then and there and it turned out to be necrotic scar tissue. The node was very pink and healthy!!!Phew! This scare pushed me towards the Stem Cell Transplant that I was offered in the beginning….. For this I had to have all the testings all
over again, plus bone marrow biopsy. Had to have my existing port taken
out and a new neostar catheter put in. Now this was way uncomfy and it
had a double lumen, 2 catheters that ran from my subclavian through my
hearted and these danged catheters hung low…down to my belly button and
oh sooooo annoying, hard to bathe etc. But hey, it was better than getting
stuck every 3 hours!!! And I was running out of veins way back in the middle
of this journey!!
We were back on Monday to be admitted. I was a free angel, cuz nothing was done this day but paperwork. Tuesday was the big day. My high dose protocol was: Cytoxan 24/4, Cisplatin 24/4 and BCNU = carmustine on the 4th day. After this was done I was able to check into the hotel, which was in cahoots with Duke U and rest. I have my stem cell journey saved on disc and I don't think it's necessary to repeat it here. It was like dying and coming back to life a new person. Now if you'd like to read my Stem Cell Journey contact Susan. I arrived home a couple of days before Halloween, you do the math…… I was very weak. I had to have on of those assist O'potty's. My onco told me my body was that of an 80 year old at that stage. He also told me I was doing great….ugh, didn't feel so great tho….I couldn't cook, the smell made me nauseous, but I couldn't eat either. Our friends from Scouts, soccer, and baseball all joined together and brought us our dinners for the next 6 months!!!!! Wow…I felt so loved. In January 1997 I came down with pneumonitis, shortness of breath, coughing, miserable, a side effect of the BCNU that I had in high dose. So I was hospitalised, on IV antibiotics, very strong ones, they even made me sick! And prednisone…oh now, this was a great nasty steroid but it helped me! I hate hospitals!!! The food was sooo gross but I was still not up to eating anything but instant puddings, jellos and ginger ales anyhow. In the hospital even that tasted bad! After 3 or 4 days and much persuasion I convinced by onc that I would feel better if I was at home. So off I went home and had the home care nurse come and change my IV's if needed. Hubby Phil would change the bags of antibiotics when needed. Finally, I was on the mend….. Whilst at Duke U I had an infection from my
port and it had to be removed so I then had to go to onc every 2 weeks
for blood works and so on…
I have made lots of new bc buds that I met
through the cancer society as I called them and asked them to give my phone
number to any who called that were newly diagnosed with bc. Here is where
I also became a Reach 2 Recover Volunteer! And I love it…..I want to spread
the news that breast cancer is NO more a death sentence in the 21st century
and that awareness and prevention are the key to be free of bc!
Breast cancer changed me, made me a better person. I wish I didn't have to have had bc to have this happen to me..but it did. Bc made me realise that there is nothing more important in life but life….people help to form this life thing…and life is toooo short…..and the laundry or vacuuming can wait, cause that reading assignment that my kiddo is struggling with is much more important! My sense of humor became more outrageous hehehe. I already had a strange one, anyway it came more so. But that's good, a sense of humor is a must to help get through this beast! Thank you God for sending me Susan and Friends In Need. Thank you God for giving me a second chance at a new life. Thank you God for giving me Faith, Hope and Strength and lots of love to guide my family and me to this point in my life. Thank you Dear God for all your many blessings. Thank you God for giving Susan the vision to create Friends for others to receive help that they may need. AMEN last updated June 4, 2003
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