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Q. Whats black and White and eats like a horse? A. A zebra

Rude Limericks

Q. What's brown and sticky? A. A stick

Q. Why don't rabbits make a noise when they fuck? A. Because they have cotton balls

Q. What does the Bermuda Triangle and a blonde have in common? A. They both swallowed a lot of semen.

Q. What is the difference between a doctor and God? A. God doesn't think he is a doctor!

Q. What's hard and long going in, but soft and sticky coming out? A. Chewing gum

Q. What is the deffinition of trust? A. Two cannibals having oral sex!

Q. How do you embarress an archaelogist? A. Give him a used tampon and ask him what period it came from.

Q. What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet? A. Winnie the Pooh

Two TV aerials meet on a rooftop, fall in love, and decide to get married. On the big day the cermony wasn't too good, but the receeption was brilliant.

Two cows in a field. One says to the other, "What do you make of this mad cow disease?" The other one says "Doesn't affect me mate." "Oh yea? why's that?" "I'm a helicopter."

Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old diapidated boat, and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his old boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it. He spent all day and most of the evening trying to salvage as much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel, and was out of touch all that day. Unbeknowst to him, his brother John's wife had died suddenly in his absense. When he got back on shore, he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery. A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said "i'm very sorry for your loss, you must feel terrible". Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat, said "Hell no! Fact is, i'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She was a rotten thing from the begining. Her bottom was all shrivelled up and she smelled like old dead fish. She was  always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back, and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time i used her, the hole got bigger and she leaked like Crazy." "I guess what finally finished her off was when i rented her to those four guys looking for a good time. I warned them she wasn't very good and that she smelled bad. But they wanted her anyway. The damn fools tried to get in her all at once and she split right up the middle" The old woman fainted.

One day, a blonde's neighbour goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother has passed away. The neighbour comforts the blonde. The next day, the neighbour went to see the blonde again to see how she was doing. She found the blonde crying again. She asked the blonde why she was crying this time... "I jus got off the phone to my sister, her mother died too!" she replied.

A blonde says to a brunnette "Excuse me, but each time i sip my coffee, my eye seems to hurt." The brunnette says "Well maybe you should take the spoon out of the cup."

One day, a blonde was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so decided to ask her husband for help. "it's supposed to be a tiger!" the blonde cried. "Honey, put the frosties back in the box!" the husband replied.

Two blondes are going to Disney Land. They come to a fork in the road, and the sign says 'Disney Land left'. So they went home.

10 Things in Golf that sound dirty 1) Look at the size of his putter. 2) Oh, dang, my shaft's all bent 3) You really wacked the hell out of that slicker. 4) After 18 holes, i can barely walk 5) My hand's are so sweaty i can't get a good grip. 6) Lift your head and spread your legs. 7) You have a nice stroke, but your follow through     leaves a lot to be desired. 8) Just turn your back and drop it. 9) Hold up, i've got to wash my balls 10) Damn, I missed the hole again.

Sex is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, and then you lose interest.