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Ask Scully!
This is where you get an answer to all your questions about me, Shturmie, The X-Files or pretty much anything! If you would like to ask something, email me here.
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Q. "Agent Scully, how and where do you think The X-Files will end?" - linda_p (email supplied) :200
A. Uh, probably at the end of the Z drawer. Thanks for your question!
Q. "Agent Scully, can I have The Lone Gunmen's telephone number? Pretty please?" - frohike4me (email supplied) :199
A. Haven't you heard? Their 'phone was disconnected for nonpayment of bills. Those guys are incapable of earning a living. Shturmie's always loaning them cash. Bunch of losers. Thanks for your question!
Q. "Agent Scully, will we be seeing more of Krychek and the CSM? They rule!" - syndy_cate (email supplied) :198
A. Rule what? Britannia? They can have it! God, the cooking! The weather! Blarrgh! But I digress. Krychek might be dead. If so, he won't be coming back, unless I do yet another exhumation, so we can all see either a) yet another empty coffin (GASP!), or b) yet another rotting corpse (YUM!). But then again, I've heard that he's shacked up with Walter Skinner and they've never been happier. As for the CSM, he's still on the run from the tobacco companies. His contract stipulated that he promote Morleys for two more years, so they're not very happy with him right now. Since they have more power than God, the CSM is kind of edgy these days. So, to answer that part, f**k off. Thanks for your question!
Q. "Agent Scully, why do you host a page for Diana Fowley? Didn't she try to steal Mulder away from you?" - slolerner (email supplied) :197
A. First, Mr. Bat shall be visiting you tonight because you used the 'M' word. Second, how can Diana steal something that already belongs to her? Uh DUH! And third, I host her page because she's a lot of fun when she's drunk. Which is often. Not that she's a lush, or anything. Thanks for your question!
Q. "Agent Scully, is the music of Moby your favorite? It added greatly to the All Things case!" - mobyfan01 (email suppled) :196
A. Whale sounds? My dad, whom I referred to as "Ahab", used to make the most horrible noises, but I'd hardly refer to them as music! And how would this have helped me solve that case? Wait - was it even a case? Whatever, you putz. Thanks for your question!
Q. "Agent Scully, are you really a dyke?" - anotherretard (email supplied) :195
A. Well, I do have a tendency to retain water, but it always leaks out eventually, so I guess the answer is "no". Thanks for your question!
Q. "Agent Scully, my boyfriend refuses to watch The X-Files anymore and insists we watch his Sopranos DVDs instead. What can I do?" - fellpip (email supplied) :194
A. I don't know, get lots of popcorn? A tub of icecream? Dim the lights, maybe? The Sopranos are great. Just enjoy it, knowing that I don't want some creepy stalker like you following me around on the job anyway. Thanks for your question!
Q. "Agent Scully, I have a dilemma. I want to be stern and no-nonsense like yourself, but I also want to be sensual and alluring like you too. Apart from wondering just how the hell you manage that, what clothing do you think helps, particularly lingerie?" - lady_blue45 (email supplied) :193
A. I don't use dilemmas - I prefer the pill. But as far as undies go, I used to wear g-strings mostly, but I seldom wear any now, since they have a tendency ride up my (let's say "butt") crack, unless I wear those 12-square-yard grannie pants; and it's not cloth I want up there, if you follow me? Thanks for your question!
Q. "Agent Scully, do you breast-feed William? What are your views on that?" - elainel (email supplied) :192
A. Only when Shturmie gives him some room. Breast-feeding is a wonderful and natural way of turning men on. Babies like it too. You suckled at a warthog, right? It's the only explanation. Thanks for your question!
Q. "Agent Scully, in the Kill Switch case, you beat up those nurses. Where did you learn to fight like that?" - msr_fm_ds (email supplied) :191
A. That was just a dream, honey. Go back to sleep.
Q. "Agent Scully, I would like to inform you that we know your real hair color is blonde. Btw, if you think Mulder (That Guy) is a weird name, what do you think of yours?" - alittle0dd (email supplied) :190
A. Think what you like, only Shturmie and I know what my natural haircolor is. Oh, and my OBGYN. I think my name is awesome.So Scandally U! Thanks for your question!
Q. "Agent Scully, is Mulder the father of William?" shipyphile99 (email supplied) : 189
A. Uh, is this one of those "If my brother's aunt's cousin is my father's uncle's daughter..."-type riddles? How in the f**k do you expect me to know Bill Mulder's dad's name? You think I'm going to punch into the NCIC database just for that? Jesus! I have to use that thing for legitimate purposes, such as finding out who it is who keeps taking my parking space - stuff like that! You're an idiot! Thanks for your question!
Q. "Agent Scully, where do you buy your outfits? They make you look so great!" - gilly4ever (email supplied) :188
A. Oh, so it's the outfits that do it? You think that if I dressed like you, I'd look as terrible as you? Great. Anyway, I buy all my stuff from Special Agent's Outfits 'R' Us. Thanks for your question!
Q. "Agent Scully, can I have sex with you?" - number1retard (email supplied) :187
A. Well, if we were to study this question semantically, then the answer is definitely "no". In order for you to have sex with me, you'd need to have a penis. Now, if we look at this question from the perspective and spirit from which I'm sure it was intended, the answer is, once again, a resounding "no". This time it's because a) you are the most repulsive collection of sub-atomic particles ever to slurp across the face of this planet, and, b) I belong to the ultimate sex God - Shturmie. Thanks for your question!
Q. "Agent Scully, do you feel as if you've been neglected by the FBI this year? We hardly ever see you doing anything meaningful anymore. It's a scandal!" - lumpypoo2 (email supplied) :186
A. You're absolutely right! I waste all my f**king time looking after some baby! What a f**king drag, huh? Motherhood - pfft...! Thanks for your question!
Q. "Agent Scully, this is appalling. You plumb new depths with your behavior here. The show is one of the most important things in the lives of so many and you are betraying the spirit of the real Dana Scully. I do not find this website amusing or appropriate, and I'm sure I speak for the majority. If you must maintain a fansite, couldn't you make it a little more intelligent and sympathetic towards the character you profess to be?" - anuptitebitch (email supplied) :185
A. I leave the "deep-plumbing" to Shturmie. Nobody does it better. Thanks for your question!