Miami seems to be the talk of the nation right now with our little friend Elian and the death of the great fashion designer Versace (pronounced Vair-say-see), so Rabbit Island decided to send famed law school graduate and computer lab monitor Jayson Chizik and I to check out the scene. Look at the photos below to see what went down. Do you know that song that goes "I'm at the coco-cocobanana"? Or is it Castro-Havana? Or is it Jimmy Jimmy Coconut? I just don't know!

On Wednesday night, Jayson Chizick(middle), my Rabbit Island point man in Hallandale, Florida took a call from his old friend Tennessee Charles (pictured right). The news was good. Tennessee Charles was coming down to visit. But little did we know that Charles was a suspected enemy spy sent to gain critical information on the Church of Rabbit Island for the FBI. By the end of the week, Intelligence sent word to Sweeney and Chizick and when confronted with the news, Tennessee Charles threatened to fight. "I don't want to be on the same BLOCK as this mother f******," exclaimed the red-faced fellow. He claimed to be upset because Sweeney was yelling at various South American women on the streets of South Beach from Chizick's car window. But we knew the real reason. He was a infiltrator with ties to the Pentagon, Janet Reno and the United Nations!

Here we see Mr. Sweeney schmoozing it up with a homeless fellow on the steps of the Versace mansion a mere bunch of feet from where the artist and designer was slain. The recent news that the Mansion had been bought by an estimated two-dozen-million dollars didn't seem to phase the homeless fellow, Mike. If you look to the right you'll see his grey dog Cujo who works the night shift guarding the gates of hell.

Mr. Sweeney was interviewing these young women about Elian Gonzalez, when, without warning, a small earthquake (which are very common in Florida) knocked the women off balance and into his arms!

Ah yes! A view from Chizick's condo hideaway in Hallendale, Florida where the water is blue and the donkeys run wild and free!

Here Mr. Sweeney holds onto a poison dart frog while it urinates on the table below. Frogs urinate when they are happy.

In this photo, Mr. Sweeney puts his feet up at a local Florida mall with the agent-provacateur Tennessee Charles, who, unbeknownst to Mr. Sweeney, is sending Morris Code information back to Capital Hill. Dot dot dash! Dot dash! Dot dash! A little dash of pepper!

Most people do not know this but the federal government has been cloning human beings for over 30 years. Pictured here are three of these clones with the man who started it all, Felipe "Taco-Bell-dog" Guadalupe Hidalgo. A scientist by trade, Felipe resigned from the evil biotech firm "Doublemint Inc." in '74 and now makes his living teaching dogs how to speak Spanish.