<BGSOUND SRC="cand97.mid">

Sydney's Funeral June 17, 1999

The month of June was so warm and dry, so dry that we were having a drought. We had planned on a graveside ceremony at the cemetery lot that would become Sydney's final resting place on June 17, 1999 at 10:30am. Of all days, it rained on that day. It was a dreary, cold, and dark day with steady rain all day long. The day before and the day after were both sunny and warm. Actually it didn't rain again for quite some time, just on the day we were burying our daughter, Sydney. Someone said to me later that day at the wake, "When it rains on a day like today, it means that God is crying too." I had thought that myself but it felt good hearing a close friend say that to me. It was suggested by the funeral director that we change the service and hold it in the chapel at the cemetery, so we did. And I must say that it is a beautiful chapel for a cemetery. Larry is catholic so we asked his great uncle to officiate the service since he is a priest. Father Tony, that's what the family calls him, sadly accepted and did Sydney and us the honor. Of all the funeral and memorial services I have ever attended, this was by far the most difficult. NO ONE should ever have to do this, to say good-bye, to plan and attend a funeral service for their baby, their child. An even bigger part of me died that day, along with the hopes and dreams I had for Sydney. I didn't want to go into the chapel. Larry waited with me outside the chapel entrance  until just before the service was to start, I still couldn't believe why we were even there at all, what Larry and I had to do. Everything went well, and after the ceremony ended my sister-in-law (Sydney's Aunt) was passing out white roses to those who wanted to place one on Sydney's already closed casket. White roses were perfect since the rose is June's flower and white is the color of purity. Afterwards Larry, a friend, and I went to see where Sydney was to be buried. She is on top of the cemetery overlooking this small city, we call home, with the rest of the baby angels. Standing there in the rain, still in shock, looking at the hole covered with a green cover that would soon have Sydney's tiny body and casket occupying it, I noticed a cement mixer truck on the little boys grave next to Sydney's. The funeral director said something that made me smile, "I'll bet that that little boy will even share his truck with Sydney and let her play with it too." That's what he said to us then and it still makes me smile when I think of that horrible day. Now Sydney has her own toys to share with the other angel babies at the cemetery and in Heaven's Playpen.

** on the poetry page you will find the poem, Stillborn, I asked Sydney's Aunt to read at the ceremony and below is... The poem, Little Angels. It is printed on the back of Sydney's Obituary Cards that we received from the funeral home.

Little Angels When God calls little children to dwell with Him above, We mortals sometimes question the wisdom of His love. For no heartache compares with the death of one small child Who does so much to make our world seem wonderful and mild Perhaps God tires of calling the aged to His fold, So He picks a rosebud before it can grow old. God knows how much we need them, and so He takes but few To make the land of Heaven more beautiful to view. Believing this is difficult still somehow we must try, The saddest word mankind knows will always be "Goodbye." So when a little child departs, we who are left behind Must realize God loves children, Angels are hard to find. --Author Unknown ** If this is your poem and you would like me to remove it, email me and I will do so at once.

Views from Sydney's grave overlooking the beautiful mountains here in north-central Pennsylvania.