funeral. It sums up all I felt that summer
day when Sydney entered and left our lives...
I carried you in hope,
the long nine months of my term,
remembered that close hour when we made you,
often felt you kick and move
as slowly you grew within me,
wondered what you would look like
when your wet head emerged,
girl or boy, and at what glad moment
I should hear your birth cry,
and I welcoming you
with all you needed of warmth and food;
we had a home waiting for you.
After my strong laborings,
sweat cold on my limbs,
my small cries merging with the summer air,
you came. You did not cry.
You did not breathe.
We had not expected this;
it seems your birth had no meaning,
or had you rejected us?
They will say that you did not live,
register you as stillborn.
But you lived for me all that time
in the dark chamber of my womb,
and when I think of you now,
perfect in your little death,
I know that for me you are born still;
I shall carry you with me forever,
my child, you were always mine,
you are mine now.
Death and life are the same mysteries.
--Leonard Clark
Don't listen to the foolish unbelievers
who say forget.
Take up your armful of roses and
remember them
the flower and the fragrance.
When you go home to do your sitting
in the corner by the clock
and sip your rosethorn tea
It will warm your face and fingers
and burn the bottom of your belly.
But as her gone-ness piles in white,
crystal drifts,
It will be the blossom of her moment
the warmth on your belly,
the tiny fingers unfolding,
the new face you've always known,
That has changed you.
Take her moment, and hold it
As every mother does.
She will be
your daughter
And when the sitting time is done you will find
bitter grief could never poison
the sweetness of her time.
--Joe Digman
Exerpted from "When Hello Means Goodbye" by Pat Schwiebert, RN, Director of Perinatal Loss
and
Paul Kirk, MD Professor and Chairman, Dept. of Obstetrics and Gynecology, Oregon Health Sciences University
Small wonder
You are loved
Not just today, but forever
Don't ever doubt that
Not for a moment
Ever more you are mine
Yesterday, today and tomorrow
Never a sound you uttered
In my heart you whisper
Caressing my cheek in slumber
Over the coming years
Let me know you are near me
Ever more my baby...
--For Sydney Nicole
From Christine
Michael and Peanut's Mommy
What once is loved
You will always find
Is always yours
From that day,
Take it home
In Your mind
And Nothing ever
Can take it away
--Elizabeth Coatsworth
I touch your tears,
invisible fingers
soothing your skin,
I know you think of me so often
in the day, in the night, in your dreams;
going into an empty nursery
knowing I'll never be there
but I am...In your heart,
in your soul, I shall always be,
for you gave so unselfishly
of yourself.
Inside of you, you created
such a world for me;
a world of laughter, of love,
of sadness, of sorrow--
every emotion people come to know
you shared with me.
And even though I may never
feel your arms around me
I felt your heart beating,
like a lullaby, singing me to sleep
and your spirit giving me a safe haven
already protecting me
nurturing me
preparing me of things to come.
But sometimes the journey
of life pulls souls apart
and yes, I had to go on
to another place.
I wish I could stay
I wish this was a decision
I could make
and I know you do too.
Know this wherever you are:
I will always remember
that yours was the first love,
the first joy, the first soul
I will ever know;
you gave me the courage to
go on in my journey
I hope I can do the same for you.
Your heartbeat will always
call me to you.
Love, your child
--Author Unknown
There's an elephant in the room.
It is large and squatting, so it is
hard to get around it.
Yet we squeeze by with, "How are you?"
And, "I'm fine"...
And a thousand other forms of trivial
chatter.
We talk about the weather.
We talk about work.
We talk about everything else--
except the elephant in the room.
There's an elephant in the room.
We all know it is there.
We are thinking about the elephant
as we talk together.
It is constantly on our minds.
For, you see, it is a very big elephant.
It has hurt us all.
But we do not talk about the elephant
in the room.
Oh, please, say her name.
Oh, please, say "Barbara" again.
Oh, please, let's talk about the elephant
in the room.
For if we talk about her death,
Perhaps we can talk about her life?
Can I say, "Barbara" to you and not have
you look away?
For if I cannot, then you are leaving me
Alone...
In a room...
With an elephant.
--by Terry Kettering
Go ahead and mention my child,
The one who died, you know,
Don't worry about hurting me further,
The depth of my pain doesn't show.
Don't worry about making me cry,
I'm already crying inside.
Help me to heal by releasing
The tears that I try to hide.
I'm hurt when you keep silent,
Pretending she didn't exist.
I'd rather you mention my child,
Knowing that she had been missed.
You asked me how I was doing,
I say, "pretty good," or "fine,"
But healing is something ongoing,
I think it will take a lifetime.
--by Elizabeth Dent
