hehehe! Lisa, vampires are make believe, just like elves and gremlins and eskimos!
Marge! Look at all this great stuff I found at the Marina. It was just sitting in some guy's boat!
Son, this is the only time I'm ever gonna say this. It is not okay to lose
Reporter: Don’t you think its dangerous to send unqualified civilians into space? Homer: I'll field this one. The only danger is if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes... wait a minute... Statue of Liberty... that was our planet! You maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!
Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back ... unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is…..never try
Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddys, and kids with fake IDs
Lisa, if the Bible has taught us nothing else - and it hasn't - it's that girls should stick to girls' sports, such as hot oil wrestling and foxy boxing and such and such
Kids are great, Apu. You can teach them to hate the things you hate and they practically raise themselves now-a-days, you know, with the internet and all
Marge: Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?
Homer: Yeah, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving mysteries
Homer: Marge, do you think I'm stupid?
Marge: (pause) No.
Homer: Okay good-night... hey, wait a minute! Why did it take you so long to respond?
Marge: (pause) No reason.
Homer: Okay good-night... hey, wait a minute! Are you humoring me?
Marge: (pause) Yes.
Homer: Okay good-night... hey, wait a minute! That's bad!
Stealing? How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain what's-his-name?
Lisa: Dad! I had a bad dream!
Homer: Oh Lisa. You just lay down and tell me all about it.
Lisa: I know this sounds absurd, but I was dreaming that the Boogieman was chasing me and...
Homer: AAHH! Boogieman! [Runs to Bart's room]
Homer: Bart, I don't want to alarm you, but we may have an ordeal involving a Boogieman or BoogieMEN in the house!
Bart: Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Bart: I thought I'd better tell you that I'm being indicted for fraud in Australia.
Homer: Well that's no reason to block the TV.
Lisa: Dad! You can't just leave us by ourselves, we need a baby-sitter!
Homer: Lisa, haven't you seen Home Alone? If some burglars come it'll be a hilarious situation...
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No!
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!
Homer: Hehehe..yeah right, Lisa. a wonderful... magical animal.
Don't worry. Being eaten by a crocodile is just like going to sleep... in a blender
Bart: Hey, a chimp! Maybe he'll lead us to bananas.
Homer drooling: Or more mouth-watering chimps..
