Shy's Mystic Tarot Cards

Dear Uncle Grumpy,

My boyfriend is always making fun of me in front of his friends and in public places. He tells me he loves me, but how can I believe him when he embarrasses me like that?

Funless, Houston, TX


Dear Fun,

Thou hast a Boar for a lover!

I perceive thou art far more intelligent than he, which fact causes discomfort to him. Speak to thy churlish lover of his behavior in private. Then, prepare thyself for the next presentment of his foolish jealousy. Thou canst make fun as well of him, knowing his habits. An ancient wizard once noted that what was good for the goose was equally palatable for the gander!

Also, a small spell to improve thy lover's demeanor is to sprinkle a bit of cinnamon and nutmeg in a pocket of his underclothing. Chant the following whilst sprinkling: "As manhood is soothed, so is ego." At the least, he will smell better when in public.


Send your Question to Uncle Grumpy by Email at shydesmith@yahoo.com

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