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Little
Johnny wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping
sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to
his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making
noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down
on him."
His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh... well...ah....well I'm
bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin
again." And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!"
His mom says, "Why?!?"
And Little Johnny replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after
you leave each day and blows him back up!"
A kindergarten
teacher was having her class study the five
senses. On this particular day they were learning about the
sense of taste. She instructed the class to close their eyes
and she gave each student a cherry life saver. She had the
children taste the life saver and try to guess the flavor. The
students anxiously raised their hands and the child
called upon, correctly reported it's flavor. "Now tomorrow," the
teacher said, "we're going to do this again, but I'm going to try
to trick you."
So the next day the teacher went through the same routine
with her class, only this time the life saver was honey
flavored. After tasting the life saver, no one raised their hand
to report it's flavor.
"Okay." said the teacher, "I'll give you a hint. It's something
your mommy calls your daddy." Little Johnny in the back of
the room yells, "Pugh, spit it out!
It's an asshole!"
She couldn't take it anymore so she screams out to the room
full of noisy children, "Why do you kids like drawing this penis
on the board? And why is it getting bigger each day?"
Little Johnny then screams out back to her, "The more you
rub it, the bigger it gets."