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Welcome to the NV jokes page. All people who are easily hurt by such jokes, pls. leave right away.

Little Johnny was in the shower with his mother one day when,
                                                after looking down, he said "What's that?", pointing to her pubic
                                                "That's my sponge", says his mother.
                                                "Oh, OK", said Johnny.
                                                A few weeks went by and Johnny's mother had to go into
                                                hospital for an appendectomy. When she came out she had her
                                                pubic area shaved.
                                                Johnny, upon seeing this, said to his mother, "Where is your
                                                His mother replied, "It's OK, I've just lost it. It will turn up
                                                A little while later Johnny comes bursting into the room and
                                                says to his mother, "Mum, I've found your sponge."
                                                "Where?", says his mother, wondering where Johnny could have
                                                found it.
                                                "It's upstairs. The maid is using it to wash daddy's face."

Little Johnny wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping
                                               sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to
                                               his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making
                                               noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down
                                               on him."

                                               His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh... well...ah....well I'm
                                               bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin
                                               again." And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!"

                                               His mom says, "Why?!?"
                                               And Little Johnny replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after
                                               you leave each day and blows him back up!"

A kindergarten teacher was having her class study the five
                                                  senses. On this particular day they were learning about the
                                                  sense of taste. She instructed the class to close their eyes
                                                  and she gave each student a cherry life saver. She had the
                                                  children taste the life saver and try to guess the flavor. The
                                                  students anxiously raised their hands and the child
                                                  called upon, correctly reported it's flavor. "Now tomorrow," the
                                                  teacher said, "we're going to do this again, but I'm going to try
                                                  to trick you."

                                                  So the next day the teacher went through the same routine
                                                  with her class, only this time the life saver was honey
                                                  flavored. After tasting the life saver, no one raised their hand
                                                  to report it's flavor.

                                                  "Okay." said the teacher, "I'll give you a hint. It's something
                                                  your mommy calls your daddy." Little Johnny in the back of
                                                  the room yells, "Pugh, spit it out!
                                                  It's an asshole!"

A third grade teacher came in to the room one day and found
                                                  a drawing of a penis on the blackboard. She suspiciously
                                                  looked at her students but didn't say anything. Instead, she
                                                  rubbed it off. The next day, she came in and saw another
                                                  drawing of an even bigger penis on the board.
                                                  She frowns and rubs it off. The third day, she came in and
                                                  saw another penis drawn on the board. This time, it's huge,
                                                  covering up almost half of the space.

                                                  She couldn't take it anymore so she screams out to the room
                                                  full of noisy children, "Why do you kids like drawing this penis
                                                  on the board? And why is it getting bigger each day?"

                                                  Little Johnny then screams out back to her, "The more you
                                                  rub it, the bigger it gets."

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