NOT FOR THE INNOCENT!
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Little Johnny was in the shower with his mother one day when,
after looking down, he said "What's that?", pointing to her pubic
"That's my sponge", says his mother.
"Oh, OK", said Johnny.
A few weeks went by and Johnny's mother had to go into
hospital for an appendectomy. When she came out she had her
pubic area shaved.
Johnny, upon seeing this, said to his mother, "Where is your
His mother replied, "It's OK, I've just lost it. It will turn up
A little while later Johnny comes bursting into the room and
says to his mother, "Mum, I've found your sponge."
"Where?", says his mother, wondering where Johnny could have
"It's upstairs. The maid is using it to wash daddy's face."
Johnny wakes up 3 nights in a row when he hears a thumping
sound coming from his parents room. Finally one morning he goes to
his mom and says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and daddy making
noises and when I look in your bedroom you're bouncing up and down
His mom is taken by surprise and says, "Oh... well...ah....well I'm
bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin
again." And the boy says, "Well, that won't work!"
His mom says, "Why?!?"
And Little Johnny replies, "Because the lady next door comes by after
you leave each day and blows him back up!"
teacher was having her class study the five
senses. On this particular day they were learning about the
sense of taste. She instructed the class to close their eyes
and she gave each student a cherry life saver. She had the
children taste the life saver and try to guess the flavor. The
students anxiously raised their hands and the child
called upon, correctly reported it's flavor. "Now tomorrow," the
teacher said, "we're going to do this again, but I'm going to try
to trick you."
So the next day the teacher went through the same routine
with her class, only this time the life saver was honey
flavored. After tasting the life saver, no one raised their hand
to report it's flavor.
"Okay." said the teacher, "I'll give you a hint. It's something
your mommy calls your daddy." Little Johnny in the back of
the room yells, "Pugh, spit it out!
It's an asshole!"
A third grade teacher came in to the room one day and found
a drawing of a penis on the blackboard. She suspiciously
looked at her students but didn't say anything. Instead, she
rubbed it off. The next day, she came in and saw another
drawing of an even bigger penis on the board.
She frowns and rubs it off. The third day, she came in and
saw another penis drawn on the board. This time, it's huge,
covering up almost half of the space.
She couldn't take it anymore so she screams out to the room
full of noisy children, "Why do you kids like drawing this penis
on the board? And why is it getting bigger each day?"
Little Johnny then screams out back to her, "The more you
rub it, the bigger it gets."
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