I was born on May 9, 198x at 9:46am, in San Antonio, Texas. I grew up with the best that I believe could have been provided for me. I had a loving family, a nice, air conditioned home, for anyone who knows my family and I.. "We live in a freezer". My Mother was always going out of her way making sure my sister and I were always happy.She made sure we had everything we wanted. Okay,I'll admit it, I was spoiled. I had to watch her suffer with "Dogs" for boyfriends. No one really treated her like they should have. . After my asshole of a father left my mother, she was on her own. I had to grow up without a father. She took both roles .. and did a good job. Then she started seeing a guy named Jerry, I couldn't stand him, and he couldn't stand me. We stayed with him for 9 years and in those nine years.. he chased us to the neighbor's yard, he used to come home drunk, and was just out of hand One evening he went at my mother, and I shot him in the neck with a dart about 6 inches long, as long as I knew what was right and wrong, I would do my best to make sure no one else did her wrong. No braggin of course, but there were actually 2 wounds found on his body... but I digress, after that he knew never to lay a hand on my mother, he knew not to. After those 9 years .. my mother decided she wanted a new life. She wanted to move to the great state of California. She wanted to live down here with my gay uncle Henry.
So we moved down here... to wonderful.. San Bernardino and all it's smoggy glory. It actually seemed nice.. when I first got here. I think it was because it was the first time I lived by mountains. So, I started school down here. When I got to California, and even before, I started finding things out about myself. When I was in the third grade.. I used to like this boy named Daniel Uresti. He was so cute, I think that's when I started realizing the fact that I was gay. It was just when I got to California.. I wanted to experiment. It was as though there was a weight that Texas held over me from being gay, and California was the "Freeland" for queers. I had no problem with being gay.. I knew I LOVED the male body. I was ready for the world, well I was as ready as a 12 year old could be.
I attended school at Golden Valley Middle School down here in smokey San Bernardino. It was a good school. In the 7th grade I met one of my first best- friends who would turn out to be my first boyfriend. His name was Robert . We used to always hang out. I had a big crush on him. He was very sweet and good to me. When I think about it, I actually do miss the OLD Robert. I remember when we were in the 8 th grade. That's when I started to suspect that he might be gay. I thought it was impossible, because these type of stories only happen in the movies, and he didn't seem gay at all! He was very straight acting. Even had girlfriends... right up till the end infact. Well that school year was when it all started. He used to stay over at my house.. sleep in my bed.. and when I would get cold... he used to wrap his arms around me. Keeping me warm, I would kiss his forehead... fearing to kiss him on his lips. I was only 13 at the time. I had no idea how to tell whether or not people were gay... even though they were right in front of my face as he was.
I was so glad my first relationship didn't start as trashy as some gay couples started. It actually started very sweet. After a couple of months past by of this "weird" behavior, it happened. The answer to my question. I actually had my first gay experience with him... that was back when I was confused.... Confused to say... I like you.. I feel for you.. Or ..I love you. There was a bad thing about Robert... He used to do drugs and drink... which , sadly, he got me into, and which I would later stop him and I . Then the day came,the day I told Robert I loved him, and I heard the answer I'd been longing for, " I love you too". It was really sweet. Then I decided, the day after my 14th birthday, which I dont reccommend, that he would be the person I wanted to be with. We had taken each others innocence. Our relationship was going great. Then came the turning point of our relationship. There were times.. when after making love, Robert used to get mad at me... Why? I had no idea. Until the day came, I remember it as if it were yesterday,he told me, "Mike I love you, And I care for you a lot, I have these feelings that i've never had for anyone, but I dont want to be gay.","It's wrong". That was his problem, He was scared of society, I dont blame him, I only wish he had handled it in a different way. He didn't. He started to ask me if he could have a girlfriend.. "Just to cover up" I said "No". He said "Ok" .. and we went on as usual. Later in the year.. After people started suspecting... and asking questions... "Robert. why don't you have a girl?" after all... so many girls wanted him. He asked me again. That time, i gave in, believing our love was strong enoug.. At first .. he didn't spend any time with that girl at all. Then he started to like her. I got worried. He promised me he wouldn't leave me. Then came the arguments of how he wanted to change himself. And how determined he was to be "right" with society's ignorant mind. Then came the argument that ended it all.. I was desperate, angry, and i had felt that i should move on. I was seeing a guy named Vance at the time. So i threatened Robert to tell everyone about us. He got mad. Hung up, and then silence. That's all I would get from him for about 1 month. I apologized, and no response. It was on January 3rd of 2000 that we had broke up. It was hard for me. He didn't make it easier. After a couple of months.. he wanted me back. But I knew I needed to do without him. SO, I did. He stared.. paged me... he evencalled me.... but got no response from me During that time... I gained about 60 lbs.. I eventually lost that with 20 more. but in 2002 I found out he was doing terrible. In trouble with the police.. into drugs.. and gangs. I guess he didn't do so good. I only wish him the best. I wish him the happiness and glory I have now.
So then I was in the "dating" phase. Yes.. i had a few... "mistakes" .. saw some people..I shouldn't have. BUT, it all paid off. Everyone learns from their mistakes.I met some of my best friends because of my pain and suffering. They were there to help me. They were the ONLY ones I needed in my life. They were there through my mistakes and heartbreaks. Jesse, Russell, George , N.k,, and ALL of my family. I love them all. I'm currently single and enjoying it. I just got out of a 2 and a half year relationship and I need a break!.
Right now I am doing great! Life has never been better. Things are looking up for my future and I finally found a job that I'm happy with.
So, now that you've taken a Brief walk through some of my life. Take a look around my web page. You'll discover more about me in other pages. |
