(JUNE 1956)
The end of the school year has come and Ho-Ying asks Li-Nam to accompany her to a dace the school is holding. Ho-Ying realizes that this might be her last chance to see Li-Nam because he is going to England to finish his studies. She feels very sad and disappointed but hopes that everything will be good for him. Li-Nam agrees since he knew Lan-Yee was going with Chun-On.
Li-Nam didn't have a suitable tie so he goes into his parent's bedroom to borrow one of Phong's ties. As he searched the closet he realized that there was another door instead of a wall behind the closet. Curiosity got the best of him and he opened the door, which lead him to his mother's room.
In this room he saw many pictures of his mother with another man. In her youth she looked radiant and happy. This other man didn't look familiar to him at all. He was confused. He had wondered why his parent's bedroom would lead to another room. Why would they need another room? Why were there pictures of his mother with another man?
Then another one put him into total shock. It was a picture of this other man carrying him and sitting beside his mother. He recognized the picture of him even though he was so young because his hobby was photo-taking. He saw many of his baby pictures as a result of his hobby. As everything was too much for him to take in he heard voices coming from the other room. It was his parents, Phong and Hong Dao.
Hong Dao went to get a glass of water and Phong's pills. "We've looked all over the place and still no memories of any kind have popped up. Are you sure there is no one else we can ask?"
"I don't have any idea who to ask. Ying and Jing don't seem like they want to disclose very much about my past." Phong said undoing his tie.
"It seems like Ying and Jing are trying to keep something from you. What could that be?"
"I have no idea. All I know is that these faded memories keep popping up in my mind but they are so unclear. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore."
"It's okay, I'm sure you'll find out with due time."
"What if I find out I had a family before? How will this work? How can I tell A Nam about it? How will he take it?"
Li-Nam listened closely on the other side of the door. He had closed it and sat in the walk-in closet listening to his parent"s conversation. He wondered to himself what they meant about another family and him finding out.
"I think you're just thinking ahead of yourself. A Nam is older now I'm sure he'll understand. Even though you aren't his real father you've been his father all his life, you're the only father he knows."
Suddenly Li-Nam throws the door open and stare at his parents. They are bewildered by his presence. They didn't know he was in the room. Li-Nam walks closer to his parents. "What did you two say?" Li-Nam asks.
"Oh no," Hong Dao says softly. "We didn't say anything. You didn't... Oh my." She said unable to explain anything.
Li-Nam looked straight into Phong's eyes. "Are you my father or not?" he asked Phong.
Phong looked deep into his eyes and replied, "If you consider a father to be the one that raised you then I am your father."
"Are you my biological birth father?" he asked again.
Hong Dao closed her eyes and shook her head. Li-Nam grabbed her shoulders. "Where is my real father? Why are you with Phong? What is going on here?" he asked shaking his mother for answers.
"Your father has died!" Phong shouted. "He died in war!"
Li-Nam was taken up in great shock. He rubbed his hands across his face and shook his head. "So all these years have been a lie? You've been planning to deceive me forever?"
Hong Dao shook her head, "No honey, we wanted to tell you but there are certain things that you don't need to say sometimes."
Li-Nam started covering his ears. "I don't want to hear it! I don't want to hear it!" he shouted walking out of the room, down the stairs and out of the house.
Hong Dao quickly ran after him. "Son!" she called out to him still trying to explain everything to him. "Son, why should it matter if he's your real father or not? He has always loved you like a real son."
Li-Nam was too overwhelmed to listen to his mother and continued walking across the street. His mother quickly ran after him, Phong followed but from a distance. He wasn't sure how involved he should have gotten.
As Hong Dao crossed the street an unexpected crazy driver on the road hit her and ran off. Phong screamed running to her as quick as possible. Upon hearing the screeching sounds of care tires and Phong's shout for help, Li-Nam turned around also. "Mom! Mom!" he screamed running back to her.
Hong Dao choked on her last words as she tried to use her last breath to reconcile Phong and Li-Nam's relationship as father and son. "Please don't be so upset." She begged him.
"I'm not upset mother, I'm mot mad. See." He said reassuring her as he wrapped one arm around Phong.
Phong quickly picked up Hong-Dao's body and ran to the hospital. Li-Nam helped him. They tried to get a car but no one would stop. Who wanted a bloody body in their car?
"You're going to be okay! You'll be fine!" Phong kept repeating as he carried Hong-Dao to the emergency room.
Once they admitted her they waited for what seemed like years. They paced back and forth in the emergency room without being able to say anything to each other or think about anything other than Hong Dao's life.
Lam Fuo Yan, Ying, and Jing came rushing into the hospital. "How is she?" they all asked at the same time.
"What happened?' Ying asked.
"How long has sister-in-law been in the emergency room," Jing asked.
Everyone had questions but Li-Nam and Phong couldn't answer. Finally a doctor came out and said, "I'm sorry, we've tried our best and I'm sorry we couldn't help her."
Phong cupped his two hands over his face and fell against the hospital wall. Jing comforted her brother. Even though she was also saddened by the news she knew Li-Nam and Phong must have been more miserable than anything.
Li-Nam paced quickly back and forth and finally out of rage punched the hospital wall. Ying quickly ran over to him, "Ah Nam, I know you're upset but listen to auntie, calm yourself down a bit."
Li-Nam felt so much self-hatred for himself at the moment, he felt at fault for his mother' death. He couldn't face any of them, because he knew they all loved his mother just as much as he did. "You're not my aunt! She's not my aunt! Your not my grandmother! And him..." he said pointing sternly at Phong, "HE'S NOT MY FATHER!!!"
Ying put her arms around Li-Nam. "Why are you speaking such nonsense? You are too delusion by your mother's passing." She said holding onto Li-Nam.
"All of you leave me alone! Leave me alone!" he screamed as he ran out the hospital into the streets of Shanghai. He was delusional with no idea where to go or what to do.
Another doctor came out of the emergency room two minutes later. "Who is the family of Li Hong Dao?" he asked.
Hui-Phong stood up slowly and let out a deep sigh. "I am her husband." He said saddened by her sudden death; a death of a friend and companion for these past few years of his life.
"You can visit her in room 103. We will be moving her there." The doctor replied.
Everyone looked puzzled. Ying asked, "But how can that be? Another doctor just told us that she passed away."
The doctor looked confused and then realized that it must have been another patient. "Behind this door there are a lot of emergency rooms. The doctor that came out was probably not referring to Li Hong Dao because I was the doctor operating on her."
A look of relief came over everyone?s face. Lam Fu Yan thanked the Buddha and Kwan Yin for looking over her daughter in law. They all rushed to room 103 to visit Hong Dao. There Phong explained everything to his sisters and his mother.
He told them about his memory lost in war and how Hong Dao's father had taken care of him. Which lead to his mistaken identity as Hong Dao's husband and Ah Nams's father. They all finally understood. The had all known that he lost his memory but figured he married Hong Dao during the time he lost his memory.
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Meanwhile Li-Nam was still on a crazy rampage of self hate because he thought he caused his mother's death. He finally ended up at a Pub where he sat drinking and drinking. He wanted to see Lan-Yee. He called her many times but she didn't respond. He left messages with Luo Khan for Lan-Yee to meet him there. Lan-Yee never saw the messages so she never responded.
Ho-Ying saw one of the messages Luo-Khan wrote down for Lan-Yee. She decided to go see if Li-Nam was okay. She arrived late into the night. It was pass midnight. She walked in to see an enervated Li-Nam. He was now laying on the floor pouring beer into his mouth. Most of it went all over his face instead of in his mouth.
Her heart was crushed. She wondered what had happened. She walked up to him and lifted him up from the ground. He resisted her, "Let me go! Leave me alone!" he shouted.
Through his struggling she couldn't hold onto him and he fell back onto the floor. She tried to lift him up once again, this time failing again.
"Why are you here? What are you trying to do? Just leave me alone!" he yelled at her.
Tears filled her eyes as she witnessed the man she loved in such a depressing mood. She sat down next to him and looked at him. Her whole life she has never had to deal with such a situation. She didn't know what to do so she sat with him.
"Leave me alone." he said once again as he looked away from her. "I don't deserve your concern." He shouted.
"How could you not deserve my concern? You deserve everything and all the best there is in the world." She replied.
"No. No..." he said as he started to stutter, "I.. I've... I've killed my mother." He stuttered and covered his face in shame.
"You've what?" Ho-Ying asked astound, "That's impossible!"
"I'm such a horrible person. I don't deserve anything." He said hitting himself.
"I'm sure you didn't mean it. You wouldn't have intentionally killed your mother. Don't say such things." She said as she tried to stop him from hitting himself.
She still didn't know if what he was saying was true. She couldn't grasp the concept that he was able to kill anyone, especially his mother. He persisted to hit himself harder and Ho-Ying embraced him to make sure he would stop. He pushed her away and this time started knocking his head against the wall he was sitting next to.
Ho-Ying quickly used her hands to stop him and he slammed his head into her hands. She screamed in agonizing pain. He became alarmed since he had no intention of harming her.
"Are you okay?" he asked looking at her hands. "Why'd you do such a silly thing?" he said checking to see if she was okay.
"Because I love you." She said softly as tears streaked down her face from the pain her hands had endured.
"You don't love me, how can anyone love me? Besides you don't know what love is." He said disbelieving her. He felt as if the whole world hated him for his mother's death because he hated himself.
"No! I love you and I love you very deeply and you are worth it. You are." She said as she wrapped her arms around him.
Li-Nam backed her up from him a little and stared deep within her eyes. She seemed so different to him that night. Her eyes sparkled like never before. Her face more radiant than it has ever been. He wiped away her tears and kissed her. He pulled her closer and she pulled him closer. Her heart raced through her whole body as she let her passions take over. That night they made love and shared an unforgettable intimacy.
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Phong paced back and forth as he waited for Li-Nam to come home. Phong had explained everything about his relationship with Hong Dao to his family and they understood Li-Nam's outrage. Phong was starting to get worried. If Li-Nam didn't come home soon he was going to call the police. He waited for another hour, it was now 8 am, Phong reached for the phone and after dialing heard the sound of the knob turning.
He quickly ran to it to see Li-Nam. He was relieved and hugged Li-Nam firmly. "I was worried sick." He said as he looked at Li-Nam.
Li Nam's body had the stench of cigarettes and beer. Phong knew Li-Nam must have been at a pub. Li-Nam looked at Phong and broke down. "I'm sorry dad, I'm so sorry!" he cried as father and son embraced.
"It's okay, I forgive you, there is no overnight vengeance between fathers and sons."
Li-Nam shook his head. Phong knew Li Nam must have been thinking of his mother, "Your mother is still alive. She's in the hospital. She doesn't blame you." Phong said to reassure him. "She loves you very much and only wishes for you to forgive her."
Li-Nam was confused, "But the doctor said..." he asked and then started smiling, "I need to apologize to her, I need to tell her I didn't mean it, I need to..." he said running around the room.
Phong laughed joyfully, "Okay we'll go visit your mother together."
On the way to the hospital, Phong started explaining to him what happened in the past, how he became Hong Dao's husband, and how he has a blurry memory of the past. Li-Nam finally understood everything.
In the hospital room, Li-Nam bent down to apologize to his mother and asked for her forgiveness. She forgave him and informed him that she never was never really mad at him. She was more upset about why she had to deceive him in the first place.
A few days later, during the dance, Li-Nam explained everything to Ho-Ying. He was starting to like Ho-Ying. After the night they shared he realized Ho-Ying really cared for him. Her beauty and radiance trapped him that night and he forgot who Lan-Yee was.
Ho-Ying was excited that he was sharing his life with her. But she still didn?t realize he was starting to like her. She still believed that Li-Nam liked Lan-Yee.
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