· Interchangeable parts aren't.
· It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.
· It's easier to expend material in combat than to fill out the forms for Graves Registration.
· It's not the one with your name on it that should worry you; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.
· Killing for peace is like screwing for virginity.
· Military Intelligence is an oxymoron.
· Mines are equal opportunity weapons.
· Napalm is an area support weapon.
· Neutral countries -- aren't.
· Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
· Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
· Never go to bed with anyone crazier than yourself.
· Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
· Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
· Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.
· No combat ready unit ever passed inspection.
· No inspection unit has ever passed combat.
· No marine unit has ever failed a combat readiness inspection, which suggests peacetime inspections are readiness as mess hall food is cuisine)
· No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
· No plan survives the first contact intact.
· Odd objects attract fire - never lurk behind one.
· Once the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.
· One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
· Peace is our profession -- mass murder's just a hobby.
· Precision bombing is normally accurate within plus/minus one mile
· Professional soldiers are predictable, but the world is full of amateurs.
· Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.
· Radios will fail as soon as you need fire support desperately. (Corollary: Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both.)
· Recoilless rifles - aren't.
· REMF (Rear Echelon Mother Fuckers), or noncombat troops, are everywhere
· Smart bombs have bad days too.
· Sniper's motto: reach out and touch someone.
· Success occurs when no one is looking, failure occurs when the General is watching.
· Suppressive fires - won't.
· Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
· The best tank killer is another tank. Therefore tanks are always fighting each other and have no time to help the infantry
· The bursting radius of a hand grenade is always one foot greater than your jumping range.
· The Cavalry doesn't always come to the rescue.
· The combat worth of a unit is inversely proportional to the smartness of its outfit and appearance.
· The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
· The crucial round is a dud.
· The easy way generally gets you killed
· The easy way is always mined.
· The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.