E-MAIL ADRESS: StarWindDancer@hotmail.com
Fandom: X-Files
Pairing: Skinner/Krycek
Rating & Warnings: NC-17 for violence. No sex
yet, only punishment.
Summery: Krycek is about to take a turn in his
life through choices Skinner give him.
Spoilers: General for early seasons. Breaks off
about Tunguska/Terma. He has his arm. I'm not
sure if the nanocytes exist. They could. I have
more story to write. I originally wrote a
version of this story as, I get horney, Krycek
gets tied up and spanked by Skinner. I'm
revising it to share and things are switching
around.
* * *
Fallen Angels 1: Alex's POV
by StarWindDancer
* * *
I am a slave.
I was claimed by Walter Skinner about a week
ago. He took me, I was there and he was there
and I needed someone to be there and he took me.
To tell the truth, I'm not *actually* his slave
yet. I'm supposed to take a week to think about
it, to come to terms with the idea. I didn't
even get past the second night before my
decision was made.
I couldn't sleep that night. The nightmares of
my life were haunting me, strange images
crossing over my mind. I was scared shitless at
that point. I knew what Skinner was asking of me
but I wasn't sure if I could give it. I'd been
owned before, just taken for a ride by...
people.
I didn't think I could go there again but what
Skinner asked of me, it was too much of an offer
to pass up, to not consider.
So I wasn't sleeping. I felt the need to get up,
to move and keep moving until I sank. At times
like that, it feels like I need to start
throwing myself against the walls to see if I'd
bounce. I've actually tried it. It's not really
bouncing but more of a flopping.
Wal-Mart was my refuge that night. I used to
frequent grocery stores when I was sleepless and
needed something to do. I like Wal-Mart, more
things to do.
I'm not sure what I was doing that night except
for shopping for things I really don't need. I
think I was looking for silk boxer shorts to
sleep in (don't ask me why, I don't usually
sleep in boxer shorts. I tend to wear pants to
bed, usually what I was wearing that day.)
I looked at thick, white, wooly socks and large
undershirts and that's when I found it.
I picked up the leather belt, hanging with a
dozen others. It was plain brown with a light
scroll work on the edges. It was the longest one
they had and it looked *SO* much like the one
Skinner used on me.
That was the beginning of *this.* I was being a
bad, ruthless little shit even though I was
really supposed to be working for him. You see,
I was in Internal Affairs in the FBI. Spender,
my supervisor, sent me in to determine what to
do about Skinner and Scully and Mulder. They
didn't play nice with others.
I was told that I was supposed to record and
report improper conduct by the group due to
complaints from the DOD, CIA, local and state
law enforcement groups, and Military Police. I
knew I was supposed to spy on them, I just
didn't know I was supposed to *spy* on them, to
be their betrayer.
It was my first investigation in the FBI, in
internal affairs. I really didn't know better
but I saw the scam in time. I went to Skinner
soon after Spender started implying that I
should *distract* Mulder from his mission.
Officially I'll claim that I went to Skinner
because Spender didn't take my recommendation to
offer Scully a new position in pathology in
California, near her family there. It was a
great promotional opportunity. She was qualified
and it was too tempting for someone like her not
to pass up.
Skinner had me spying on Spender then, reporting
his abuse of power. The more I looked at my
supervisor, the more I realized that it should
be *him* that should be investigated and not
Skinner. Mulder still needs his ass kicked for
his bone headedness. The FBI is for the people,
not him.
How hypocritical of me to think that. I've used
the FBI and it's connections to my advantage the
last couple of years. They were a tool for me to
use.
Skinner is a kind man, he's kept me in his
thoughts and in his sights as someone on the
inside, his spy. To a point, I was. Whenever I
needed someone's attention and needed to mess
with them, the FBI and Skinner was who I called
upon. It was basically free resource for me.
Until the last time. I showed up to my meeting
with Skinner cockier then hell and jonesin' for
a fight. I got the fight and got my ass kicked
and I got something... else. A bit of truth.
I don't know how to describe it but it was the
most erotic moment of my life. I didn't think so
at the time. I was downright pissed when I came
to tied up in Skinner's bedroom to the wall. I
remember pulling on the ropes, jerking at them,
screaming at Skinner to let me out.
That's when he spelled it out for me. He gave me
an ultimatum, to continue being his tool
fighting Spender or else be a free agent at the
whims and mercies of whatever may come. He
gagged me and raised the belt.
I can remember just about every single agony of
the belt on my flesh. I remember hearing it
swish in the air and the crack it made when it
hit me. I remember the pain flooding through me,
making me angry and scared and so out of
control.
And then there was his voice, his calm, soothing
voice calling me back from whatever edge I was
on. He kept telling me that I was a good man
once, that I wanted to help people. He kept
reminding me what I *should* be doing, who I
*should* be.
I was a broken wreck by the time he was done. I
was shaking and crying and so alone and broken
when I fell to the floor when he cut the ropes.
I wouldn't allow him to touch me when he tried
to ungag me. I pulled back from him every time
he moved close.
I knew I couldn't let him touch me, I knew I was
a jagged, ragged piece of flesh. I was ashamed,
I was so ashamed of myself. I hurt *so* much
then, I can't even describe it.
Eventually Skinner got me calm enough to pull me
into his arms. He only briefly checked to make
sure that the ropes hadn't tightened when I
struggled. Other then that he just held me and
let me cry and wiped the tears away.
I remember how big his hands seemed, when he
held my head and ran his thumb over my cheek,
just under my tear filled eyes. I remember
looking into his soft, chocolate brown ones and
thinking I'm safe here.
We barely talked. Only enough after that for
Skinner to cut the ropes off my wrists and
ankles. He put some blue aloe gel over the welts
on my back and gave me the bottle so I could put
some more on later. I got dressed and was ready
to leave when he stopped me. A light touch on
the arm was enough to stop me from just walking
out that door. He said that he did care, that he
wanted to take Spender down and that I had
another chance with him and he let me leave.
I was back at his place about 2 weeks later with
file after file of stuff I'd kept back, that
I've withheld because I was playing for power,
not justice. I handed it all over to him. I
don't think anybody could be more surprised then
how he was that night, seeing me there in the
doorway with so much information and clues.
I was scared of Skinner after that point. Every
time he reached out to me to take a file or
something, I'd jerk back. I'd jump every time I
heard his voice if he wasn't sitting directly in
front of me. I was so unnerved by him. He didn't
fit in the same place anymore.
He started to apologize for his conduct, for
what he did to me but I couldn't let him cheapen
that moment. I think that startled him about as
much as when I handed him all those files. I
told him that I needed that, that I needed
someone to ground me after everything that had
happened. I told him that I needed someone to
trust, to have a Scully.
That's when he made his offer. He said that I
would become his, his instrument, his operative,
his tool, his. He said that I had a week to
think about it, to not come until next Sunday
and to consider what I wanted. Then he pushed me
out the door to let me think.
And that is what led me to here, holding that
brown leather belt. I could almost still feel
the welts, there was still bruising on my back
but mostly they had disappeared, healed since
then. I knew that I needed them. I felt such a
desire, such a hunger to have that leather
pressed against my flesh again, holding me in
check.
I needed that grounding, I needed somewhere to
belong, I needed someone to belong to. I needed
*more.*
I twisted the leather in my hand, feeling it
soothe against my skin. I looped it around and
ran it against the sensitive skin of my neck. I
was hard in an instant.
I bought the belt that night and played with it
for a while after going back to bed. I still
felt restless until I laced the belt through the
buckle. I punctured an extra hole in the belt,
about 16 inches past the buckle. I slept like
that, the belt tied around my throat, a
connection back to this world, holding me,
claiming me.
I couldn't wait for Sunday. I'd be there at
midnight, as the day turned. I wanted time with
Skinner. I wanted him to show me how to be his.
* * *
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