your wife should help you join the family
Mothers play a large role in easing their husband's transition into the family: They should talk with her children about what will change and what will stay the same – follow through with this, so you’re not all talk and no action. She shouldn't undermine your efforts. One mother insisted on tucking her children into bed after the stepfather because he “didn't do it good enough.'' Set reasonable expectations: “You don't have to love him but you have to treat him with respect as you would any other adult.'' Pat him on the back in front of the kids: “Thanks for helping. I appreciate it.'' Please remember, a child's jealousy and resentment of a stepfather typically diminish if they still have time alone with their mother. |
