| stepfathers |
| issues |
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| Stepdads at weddings The situation of what to do with a stepdad and a dad at weddings is always a interesting one. Who gives the bride away? You can escort your stepdaughter down the aisle with both dads, having one dad on one side and the other stepdad on the other, or you can have stepdad walk the bride halfway down the aisle, he gives her a hug and he hands her over to the biological father who will walk her the rest of the way. Another option would be having one of them walk the bride down the aisle and having the father-daughter dance with the other. If the walk down the aisle issue is causing the most stress, the bride can always walk down the aisle by herself and dance with both dads for the first-dance at the reception. Bio Dad could walk you down the aisle and stepdad could say "I do" when the celebrant asks "who gives this woman away?". I have heard of occasions when all parents (bio and step) call answer this in unison. Another issue is the wording on the invitations. In Crane's Blue Book of Stationery (http://www.crane.com) it reads: "The bride's parents may issue the wedding invitations jointly when they are divorced. The name of the bride's mother appears on the first line followed by the name of the bride's father." The names do not have the word "and" between them, that would indicate that they are still married. Formally, it would be: Mrs. [Your stepfather's name] Mr. [Your father's name] request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter You can leave the titles off and your mother can be listed by her own first name. But, the rules are different if your father has been out of your life for a long time and you were essentially raised by your stepfather. In that case, the invitations would read: Mr. and Mrs. [Your stepfather's name] request the honour of your presence at the marriage of her daughter Unfortunately, there's no proper way for all three of them to be listed as the wedding hosts. This periodically becomes a big bone of contention if all three of them are taking financial responsibility for the affair the gentleman not listed on the invitation gets grouchy because he's shelling out money without being credited. Dad or step-dad wants to make sure the guests know that, although he's not officially acting as the host, it's his money they're partying with, at least in part. The consolation prize is that he gets to host the reception. In such a delicate case, your reception card can read: Mr. [Father's name or stepfather's name; whomever got left over] requests the pleasure of your company at the marriage reception ["Immediately following the ceremony", or list a time] This way everyone is represented by name, and your etiquette is still impeccable. Usually, and depending how well everyone gets along, the biological father sits in the front row of the ceremony with his spouse. The stepfather would be sitting in the third row; the second row is traditionally reserved for siblings and grandparents. If everyone is in agreement and gets along, I don't see anything wrong with everyone sitting together in the first row. |