Electrical Tape - Part 1 of a 4 part news serial...

Electrical tape...yes the tape that is used by electricians all over the world has found it's true purpose. To most soccer players, tape, usually white hockey tape, is used to hold your socks and shin pads in place. However to Whiteshoes tape is an essential fashion accessory, as important as the socks and the shin pads they hold in place. How important you ask? Have you ever seen red hockey tape? Exactly. Whiteshoes has replaced the ever so popular hockey tape with 3M electrical tape. The tape is flexible providing comfort and of course comes in a variety of colours. This is the most important factor since you must colour match to your team's strip.

First, Whiteshoes starts off by the biggest decision he will make on game day... what colour tape to wear. You might think this is crazy but when it comes to looking good you can not leave anything to chance. After the colour is selected, usually dependant on the kit the team will be wearing, an additional 10minutes is taken to make sure that the socks are matching with no holes and the tape is at the right spot, wrapped equally on both sides 2 inches maximum in thickness. Some may believe that Whiteshoes is wasting time by doing this when he should be concentrating on the game but if you asked your girlfriend she will tell you it's well worth it as the end product is extremely breathtaking.

Electrical Tape - Part 2 of a 4 part news serial

Yes tape is tape. You can get electrical tape at any Canadian Tire, Home Depot or Rona stores but would you expect Whiteshoes to by Jeans from Sears? Boots from Footlocker? Of course not. Then why think he would endorse tape that can be purchased from any of these big box stores? You must understand that in looking good, as with all things in life, in order to do your best you must use the best. So where does Whiteshoes get his tape? Where can you find the same quality that lives up to the standards of this artistry of a human being we call Whiteshoes? Torbram Electrical (for locations visit www.torbramelectric.com). Remember though that by saying you know Whiteshoes personally at a club will get girls to talk to you, when shopping at Torbram Electric for tape you will not get any discounts.

Electrical Tape - Part 3 of a 4 part news serial

How to use tape. It seems so simple yet so hard for some people. The problem is most players do not take the time in their preparation and is probably why they keep losing out to Whiteshoes (hence your girlfriend wearing a property of Whiteshoes T-shirt). Remember this is just a guide on how to use tape and it will probably not assist you in getting your wife or girlfriend back. So now that you know where to get the tape, lets look at the how to use it to show off your attributes so that your girlfriend might glance back at you while she walks by in the arms of one Stevie Whiteshoes.

The first step of course is to put on your socks. It doesn't matter what socks they are, as those who look really really good must learn the art of working with what you have. If the socks have a single logo on the side you must be sure that you have a left and a right sock and not two lefts or two rights. Once the socks are on it is time to insert the shin pad. Whiteshoes recommends the ones you had when you were 12 years old or any junior sized shin guard will do. With the shin guard in place, double wrap at the bottom, just underneath the guard about 4-5 inches above the ankle. Only wrap twice as too much tape can lead to cramps. This will ensure that the socks don't fall down while playing. To complete the process, tuck in any remaining sock underneath the top of the shin guard by folding neatly. You are now ready to strap on the boots and double check the hair gel before going out onto the field.

Next week in our last segment we will look at the evolution of tape.

Bvgari Cologne has a nice strong scent that keeps your girl bouncing in their sets as he runs by on the soccer pitch. This is probably where the Mexican wave started. Although you may smell like Whiteshoes by wearing this cologne, it will not make up for the fact that you are probably not as good looking and will therefore not make your wife want to stay with you any longer.

Every man needs to have at least two pairs of these jeans. If you don’t, then you know why there is a really good chance your girl wants to be with Whiteshoes. They combine the Euro trash style with a cowboy look making it really hard for woman to stop staring (that and is HUGE back). You may attempt to wear these jeans with a Lacoste shirt but according to Whiteshoes this is a mistake. Burberry is highly recommended. If you wear a T-shirt then some rules apply. First it must be form fitting (you should have big muscles and your shirt must be 2 sizes too small), second it has to make a statement like “Tiger” or “Your Mom Thinks I’m Hot!” or even “I Taught Your Girlfriend That Thing You Like…”

50 Cent is probably the anti-Whiteshoes of the world in that he is not very attractive and in-fact brutish looking. However Whiteshoes and 50 Cent share two things in common, they are both huge and they both steal girlfriends by no fault of their own (well maybe it is their fault.) Although not quite as impressive as looking good on the soccer field, on a dance floor while 50 Cent is playing, Whiteshoes’ dance maneuvers attract woman similarly to the Pied Piper did with his magic flute except with rats.

Stay tuned for more Whiteshoes features...