AJ was on the hot seat first, and he recounted the training that led up to the events in Sierra Ramon. She was insightful with her questions, yet she didn’t overpower him with them. Howie’s stomach clenched as she finished her spot with his friend.
They broke for commercial, and the pair started towards him. Barbara introduced herself, shaking Howie’s hand. She noticed the faint tremor and the haunted eyes, realizing that this spot was going to be very difficult for the young man in front of her.
AJ squeezed Howie’s shoulder before his friend followed the reporter onto the set and let the technicians wire him with the small microphone pack. Howie took a deep breath then released it. The camera started to roll, and the questions began.
He made it through the training questions okay, glossing over his skill with the rifle in favor of stories of the group. He told the story of the war games, their amusement at everyone’s discovery of who Meredith really was, and their afternoon in the capitol. His grip on the chair began to tighten as he spoke about the abduction and the measures they had taken to free themselves, then prepare for the rebels heading towards them.
Barbara noticed that his eyes weren’t focused on her anymore, that he was staring at some point over her shoulder, and she realized he was back in the jungle. She listened and waited, ready to step in and shake him if necessary.
By the time Howie got to the actual fighting, she could readily see the tremors shaking his frame. He started to talk about the rebels who had shown up behind his position, when he stopped abruptly.
“I can’t. I can’t.” He tore at the microphone, ripping off the pack and almost running from the set.
She stood up, ready to go after him and make sure he was okay when she saw AJ follow him. Sitting back down, she spoke towards the camera. “We’ll return in a few moments.”
When the director told her they were off the air, she walked over to the other three. “Will he be alright?”
Kevin stared after his friends before turning slowly towards the reporter. “One day.”
She nodded, remembering conversations with other people who’d suffered greatly. She walked back towards the seat, and Brian followed her.
“I think I’m up next.”
Barbara nodded as they readied him for the interview.
Two states away, Meredith grabbed the phone and dialed a number. AJ heard his cell ringing and absentmindedly answered it as he continued to watch Howie. The other man had pressed himself into a corner, sitting on the floor with his arms wrapped around his knees.
“Hello?”
“Is he okay?”
Meredith’s voice flowed through the line, and AJ released a sigh. “I don’t know. He’s in the corner, and he’s not looking at anyone.”
“Can you get him to take the phone?”
AJ walked close to his friend and held out the phone. “D? It’s Meredith.”
Howie looked up and reached out for the phone. “Meredith?”
Meredith heard the sob in his voice and desperately wished she were there. “Hey, D.”
Howie laid his head on his knees, clutching the phone to his ear. “I knew this was a bad idea.”
She chuckled softly. “Well, live is definitely an adventure it seems.”
The watery chuckle escaped him. “Yeah, that’s true.”
“Is there anything I can do?” She held the phone close to her ear, trying to listen to more than the words.
Howie sighed, looking up and seeing AJ hovering near him. “No, I don’t think so. This is something I’m going to have to deal with on my own. I wish I could just cut it out, but I can’t. Talking about it on live TV wasn’t the way to go.”
“No, it wasn’t. Have you talked to anyone?” She leaned back on the sofa.
“My dad, some. He was a lot of help, like you were. He also told me it was something I would have to deal with inside my own head.”
“Sounds like a very smart man.” She smiled.
“He is. I’ll introduce you to him when you come visit.”
“I look forward to it.” Joy ran through her at the thought they all accepted that they would see her again.
“I’ve got to get back out there. I’ll talk to you later, Merry.” He stood up, using her nickname without conscious thought.
“Take care of yourself, D. Call me anytime if you need me.”
“I will.” He handed the phone back to AJ, who followed him into the studio.
“AJ, how does he look?”
“Steadier. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. How’s everyone else?”
“Brian looks okay, he’s on now. Nick is playing his Gameboy.” AJ looked around for his missing friend.
“Where’s Kevin?” Meredith was concerned about his interview more than the other two. His near-death experience would be hard for him to talk about, and breaking down was a possibility.
AJ looked around. “He’s with Irene.”
Meredith smiled. “Guess she’s back from Milan. She’ll be there for him. I think he’ll be okay.”
AJ nodded then realized he was on the phone. “Yeah, I think so, too.”
Turning to face the wall, he stroked the side of the phone with his thumb. “I wish you were here.”
She was quiet for a moment. “Me, too.”
AJ looked up when Brian appeared behind the camera. He looked over to see Howie sitting back down in the chair across from Barbara.
“D’s back in the chair.”
“So I see.” Meredith watched her friend as he skipped past the killing and moved on to the rescue and eventual graduation.
Barbara looked at the young man in front of her, pleased that he had returned to finish the interview. She reached out and laid her hand on his. “Thank you.”
He smiled at her before they broke for commercial.
Meredith and AJ both sighed. “Wanna hang on and talk to the others?”
She laughed. “Sure. Let me talk to the kids.”
AJ held out the phone to Brian, who raised an eyebrow as he took it. “Hello?”
“Hey, Brian. You looked good.”
Brian’s face broke into a big smile. “Hey, Meredith. Thanks. How are you?”
“I’m good. It’s been awfully quiet around here though. I think Stasi is moping.”
He laughed. “Well, we’ve missed you, too. It just hasn’t been the same not running or doing all that PT in the morning.”
“Just because I’m not there doesn’t mean you can’t continue. It’ll help get you ready for the tour.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He missed their talks…he missed her.
“Thank you for the e-mail list. It’s come in handy the past few days.”
“I’ve always enjoyed it. Straightforward, to the point, it packs a lot into a little.”
“Yes, it does.” She chuckled again.
Brian looked up to find Nick putting down his Gameboy as he got ready to go on. “Want to say hi to Nick real quick? They’re getting ready to wire him up.”
“Sure.”
Brian held out the phone and mouthed “Meredith” to the young man. Nick’s eyes lit up and he practically ripped it out of Brian’s hand.
“Hey, Mom.”
“Hey there, Munchkin. You ready to kick some butt?”
He laughed loudly, drawing the attention of several people. “Yeah, I’m ready. I was worried about Howie, but he seems to be doing okay now.”
“It’s gonna take time. There’s no other way around it.” She reached over for her tea and took a sip.
“Thank you for the sketches. They were beautiful. I’ve got them framed and sitting on my desk.”
Nick beamed with pride, then looked up when someone tapped him on the shoulder. “Mom, I’ve got to go. They need me on the set.”
“I’ll talk to you later, Munchkin. Call me if you need me.”
“I will.” He passed the phone back to Brian and followed the assistant director onto the set, allowing the man to put the microphone pack on him.
Brian looked over at Kevin, who had Irene wrapped in a hug. “Want to talk to Kevin?”
“Think Irene’ll let him?”
Brian chuckled. “Just for you.”
He walked over and handed the phone to Kevin, who took with a wary expression. “Hello?”
“Hi, Kevin. How are you holding up?”
He could hear the concern in her voice, knew that she understood what he was going through. “Scared to death I’m going to lose it out there.”
“If you feel like you’re going to do that, just step back. Take a moment to regroup. Tell Barbara before you get started that it might become more than you can handle, and tell her that you’ll signal her if it is.”
He sighed, rubbing Irene’s shoulder. “Thanks, for the call and for still looking out for me.”
“I can’t help it, and you’re welcome. By the way, thanks for the cup and the book. They’ll come in very handy.”
He laughed. “I figured they might. I’ve got to go, they’re ready for me in makeup.”
“Call me if you need me. Tell Irene to call me when y’all get back to your hotel.”
“I will. Whose phone am I on?” He smiled at the woman standing beside him.
“AJ’s.”
“Bye.”
“Bye, Kevin.”
He handed the phone to AJ and followed the makeup artist to a chair, Irene only a couple of steps behind.
“Feel better now?” AJ smiled into the phone.
“Much. How’s the mood there?” She watched as Nick answered questions, and she realized that he appeared more composed than usual during the interview.
“Everyone’s more relaxed, thanks to you.” AJ looked up as Nick came off the set, and Kevin went over to sit down. He watched as Kevin spoke with Barbara for a couple of minutes before the mics were attached.
His phone beeped, and he cursed.
“What’s wrong?” Meredith was immediately on alert.
“My battery’s dying.”
“Well, I think I’ve done my duty for the moment. Call me if you need me tonight.”
“Even if there aren’t any problems?” His voice was even raspier than usual.
She shivered. “Especially then.”
“I’ll talk to you later.”
“Ciao.”
“Ciao.”
Nick picked up his cell phone when he realized *his* was ringing, pressing the talk button. “Hello?”
AJ knew it wasn’t good news when Nick clenched his fist and closed his eyes.
“No, Mother, I don’t want to hear it.”
AJ was glad he couldn’t hear Jane’s side of the conversation.
“Look, it’s a sign of affection. She did a lot for me, and the names just sort of happened.”
Nick’s face was growing redder, and Brian and AJ were beginning to worry about him.
“Fine. You wanna know the truth, I wish she *were* my mother. I wouldn’t have to deal with this shit anymore. At least she loves me for who I really am, not how much I’m worth or what I do.”
He pulled the phone away from his ear, and they could hear Jane screaming through the receiver although they couldn’t understand a word she said. The young man ended the conversation with a simple push of a button then turned the phone off. In a minute, Brian’s phone began to ring.
Nick looked up at his friend. “If it’s her, I’m not here.”
Brian answered his phone with a cautious “Hello?”
His eyes flew to Nick’s face. “Jane, he’s stepped away for a minute. I’ll tell him call you.”
AJ was close enough to hear the caustic tone in the woman’s voice, and he winced in sympathy as Brian tried to end the conversation. “Yes, of course I’ll give him the message. Goodbye.”
“Sorry, Rok.” Nick flopped into a chair, running his hands through his hair.
“Hey, man, it’s cool.” Brian patted his friend’s arm before walking over to the food table. “By the way, your mother called and would like you to call her.”
Nick looked over his friend. “What?”
“I’ve done my part. I delivered the message. What you do is entirely up to you.”
Nick shook his head. “Thanks, man.”
They looked over to find Kevin telling the story of the day they had all pissed Meredith off and ended up with punishment. He grinned ruefully when he explained his, telling Barbara that Meredith had chosen an excellent method for teaching him a lesson since he liked to be in control.
When it came time to talk about almost being killed, he stumbled over the story several times, his eyes finding Irene whenever it got too difficult. Meredith watched the screen with a pillow pressed against her chest as she listened to him tell how scared he had been. Barbara handled it gracefully, easing back when she felt that he couldn’t handle the question; pressing forward when he regained his composure.
She called for a commercial break, letting Kevin leave the set. He walked over and wrapped his arms around Irene, who hugged him close.
“You okay, babe?”
“I will be.” He sighed.
She looked up into his eyes, looking for confirmation that he was telling the truth. Seeing it, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him.
“I’m very proud of you.”
He smiled and kissed her before all five of them returned to the set. Barbara finished up with some questions for all of them as a group. Her last question caused all of them to take a moment to think about their answers.
“What have you learned from all of this?”
Brian stared at the floor for a moment before looking up at Barbara. “Philippians 4:13: I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. I learned the meaning of that verse in the jungles of Sierra Ramon.”
Howie closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them and looked at the reporter. “Life is a gift. You never know what will happen, all you can do is share it with loved ones and do the best you can to make a difference.”
As he listened to his friends, Nick’s mind was filled with many things, but most of all he saw Meredith smiling at him as he succeeded. He focused his attention just as Barbara looked at him and smiled. He smiled back at her.
“I learned that who I am is good enough. I don’t have to be Nick Backstreet to make a difference in this world, Nick Carter is perfectly capable of doing that.”
Kevin grinned at his friends before spoke. “I think I learned that it’s okay to cut the apron strings. I don’t have to be in control and in charge all the time. Life will go on, even if I’m not running the show.”
Meredith smiled and clapped as she watched the interview. Then she leaned forward to hear AJ’s answer.
AJ rubbed his chin, feeling the soft bristle of hair under his finger. Grinning madly, he looked at his “brothers” before turning to Barbara.
“I learned an ‘N Sync song.”
The reporter raised her eyebrows at that one, smiling at the young man in front of her as he continued.
“I learned that I really hate running several miles a day, then doing an hour of PT; that if you’re ever asked if you want to ‘try out’ the Seals’ obstacle course, say no; and that a little C-4 goes a long way.”
Everyone chuckled, and AJ grew serious.
“I learned that we all have different strengths and different weaknesses, and that we complement each other very well. We are a team, and we will not be stopped in whatever we choose to do.”
Barbara smiled at the group. “Thank you for talking to me about your experiences. I know it was not an easy thing to do.”
They smiled back at her, shaking her hand as the camera filmed the wrap up. Meredith sat back on the sofa, staring at the closing credits. She clicked the power button on the remote then tossed it to the side as she stood up and headed for bed. Stasi settled into her usual spot, watching as Meredith went through her nightly ritual before settling into bed.
Meredith turned in, said another prayer of thanks for her day, and asked for blessings on the lives of loved ones wherever they were. Her last thought before sleep was of AJ’s smile.
Table of Contents
Chapter Two