Standing, he began to pace his room, walking around the furniture as his mind replayed his mother’s words.
“Fuck.” He changed into a t-shirt and shorts, lacing up his sneakers.
Tony, one of the new bodyguards hired by The Firm, followed him as he stalked to the elevator. The other man didn’t say a word as he kept up with his charge, a little surprised to see Nick enter the hotel gym. The young man looked around for a moment then started up the stairs to the second floor track. Tony followed him upstairs and kept an eye out for any fans as Nick walked around the track once, then started to run.
The bodyguard watched in amazement as Nick completed several miles. He hadn’t been too impressed when he joined the group, but seeing the young man’s determination made him wonder if he needed to reevaluate his thoughts.
“Thanks.” Nick took the towel Tony handed him and wiped off his face and the back of his neck.
“Not too bad.” The other man escorted his charge down the stairs and back to the elevator after a stop at the water fountain.
“Piece of cake. If I’d been loaded with a full pack and finished the run without falling over, that would have been impressive.” Nick laughed as he draped the towel around his neck.
Tony made sure the young man was back in his room before heading to the end of the hall to check in with the guard on duty to let him know Nick was in for the night. He mulled over Nick’s words as he settled into his own room.
Nick pulled off the sweaty clothes and stepped into the shower. He leaned against the wall as the water massaged his tense shoulders. After standing under the spray for twenty minutes, he got out and toweled off. Walking into the room, he pulled on a pair of boxers and stretched out on the bed. The phone rang, and he hesitated before answering it.
“Hello?”
[Hey, Nick.]
“Hey, little man. How’s it going? Enjoying the tour?” Nick rolled over and tucked a pillow beneath his head.
[Yeah, it’s cool. Um, Nick, don’t be mad, okay?]
“Aaron, what’s…”
[Nick?] Jane’s voice echoed through the line, and he closed his eyes.
“Mom.”
[Oh, so you’re calling me mom now. What about this Meredith woman?]
“Don’t bring Meredith into this, okay?” He could feel his body tightening up again, undoing the relief he’d found earlier.
[Well, when you call some other woman “mom” and then tell me you wished she was, how can I not bring her into it?]
“Look, I’m sorry about what I said earlier. The fact remains, Meredith acted like a mom while I was there; just like Kevin acts like a dad when we’re on tour or in the studio.”
[And do you call Kevin “dad”?]
“On occasion.” His fingers gripped the phone even tighter. “Can we drop this? I’d like to talk to Aaron.”
[You called some other woman “mom” on live TV, and you want me to drop this? *I* am your mother, Nickolas, and don’t you forget it. I’m the one who took you to those auditions, driving all the way to Orlando and back again to Tampa; sacrificed my time to make sure you had the opportunity with the Backstreet Boys, made sure you stuck with it. Why did I even bother if this is the thanks I get?]
By this time, Nick was standing beside the bed, his free hand covering his eyes. His head ached with unshed tears, and he trembled as the words poured from deep within him. “Yeah, why did you bother, Mom? Sacrificed your time? What about me? What about what I sacrificed? I had no childhood. I grew up in hotel rooms, clubs, and tour buses. You weren’t even there half the time. When I cried myself to sleep because I was scared, Brian was the one who comforted me. When I got sick, Kevin was there to help. When I had questions about sex, AJ answered them and never made fun of me. Howie helped me with homework or just listened to me. The only time I really saw you was when the money started flowing, and that was only for as long as it took to get the check.”
There was silence on the other end of the line. [You ungrateful little brat.]
Nick choked down the sob as her voice hardened. He pressed his hand against the wall to keep himself upright.
[This is so like you. When are you going to grow up and act like a man? You’d think after all these years of being in the business you’d have gotten some sense, but you are so stupid sometimes.]
Nick heard someone in the background, then heard a muffled response from his mother.
[I’ve got to go make sure your brother’s ready for his performance. At least he listens. I’ll talk to you later.]
The call was disconnected, and Nick just stared at the receiver in his hand. stupid echoed through his head, his mother’s voice taunting him over and over again. For several moments, all he could do was stare at the phone. The part of his brain that had protected him in the past took over and spurred him toward the living room. He went to Brian’s bedroom first, knocking on the door. He opened it to find an empty room. He went to AJ’s and Howie’s rooms, hoping Brian might be there, but they were also empty.
He finally ended up in front of Kevin’s door, and Nick softly tapped on the door. He heard laughter on the other side and bit his lip as he waited for an answer.
“Yeah?” Kevin’s voice was muffled from behind the closed door.
“You busy, Kev?” Years of experience at hiding his emotions kept Nick’s voice fairly light.
“Kinda. Is it important?” The older man’s voice was a little clearer, but feminine giggles quickly followed the question.
“It’ll wait. Catch you later.” Nick walked back into his room, his shoulders slumped as if he carried the weight of the world.
He continued to pace the hotel floor, feeling the walls close in around him. He felt trapped and unable to escape, like he was tied down. That’s when it hit him. The intense feelings of helplessness, of being worthless reminded him of the dream he had at Meredith’s. When he was tied to the chair in the hotel room, listening to the incessant insults from his mother; *that* dream had become a reality, and it tilted his whole world on a dangerous keel.
Escape. I’ve got to get out of here. Where can I go? Where will I be safe?
Looking around, his eyes found the scrapbook Irene had loaned him. It was still open to a recent picture of Meredith on a sailboat, and his mind latched onto her as a safe place from the storm that surrounded his heart.
He grabbed some clothes and pulled them on, picking up his backpack out of habit. Years of practice allowed him to get out of the hotel without detection, and he grabbed a cab to the airport. A flight to Emerald Point was leaving in an hour, and he purchased a ticket. Hiding in the VIP lounge until his flight was called, he boarded the plane. He buckled his seat belt and gripped the armrests as the plane taxied onto the runway and took off. For the 45-minute flight, he kept his eyes tightly closed for fear the tears would fall and never stop. When they landed, he grabbed his backpack and practically ran off the plane, grabbing the first taxi he saw.
Giving Meredith’s address, he fidgeted in the seat until they pulled up in front of the house. He paid the driver and walked up to the front door. Taking a deep breath, he pressed the doorbell.
Stasi pranced to the door as Meredith walked into the foyer. She eyed the dog with a puzzled expression. Looking through the peephole, she discovered the reason for Stasi’s joy. Opening the door, she looked into red-rimmed eyes full of pain. Nick practically fell into her outstretched arms.
Meredith helped him into the house, dropping his backpack onto the floor before leading him into the den. They sat down on the couch, and Nick dropped his head into his hands. Meredith slowly rubbed her hand over his back as she waited for him to speak.
“She called me stupid.”
The words were muffled, but she figured out what he said, and she closed her eyes.
“Told me I should’ve grown up, gotten some sense, that she sacrificed to get me where I am.” He wiped the few tears from his eyes and looked at her.
“Am I stupid?”
Meredith opened her eyes at the question, looking at him. Reaching out, she placed her palm against his cheek. “No, Munchkin, you’re not stupid.”
Nick wrapped his arms around himself and rocked slightly. Meredith kneeled on the couch and wrapped her arms around him, pressing a kiss against his head. They remained there for an hour. When she noticed that his head dropped and jerked for the third time, she stood up.
“C’mon, Munchkin, time for bed.”
“But…” He didn’t know how to ask for what he needed.
Meredith pulled him off the sofa and led him down the hall to her room. He walked into her bathroom, closing the door behind him. In a couple of minutes, he returned, wearing his t-shirt and boxers. Meredith let Stasi back in, and the dog trotted over to Nick and leaned against him. He crouched on the floor and petted her, letting her lick his face. Meredith smiled at the sight.
When he stood, she nudged him towards the bed. He grinned slightly as he climbed in.
“I was hoping I’d get a chance to sleep in this bed.” He settled on the pillow-top mattress and sighed.
“Looks like you get your wish.” Meredith climbed up beside him and turned off the light before lying back against her pillow.
Nick turned onto his side, clutching a pillow in the darkness as he tried not to think about what had happened that night. He felt Meredith move up behind him and drape her arm across him. He gripped her fingers as she held his hand, and for a moment, he felt peace.
“Sweet dreams, Munchkin.” She pressed a gentle kiss to his head.
“Thanks, Mom.” He sighed and closed his eyes.
*****Backstreet Boys****Backstreet Boys****Backstreet Boys****Backstreet Boys****Backstreet Boys****
Brian knocked on Nick’s bedroom door, not really surprised that his friend hadn’t come out into the living room yet. It was still early by Nick standards, but they needed to get ready for another interview later that morning. He turned the knob and peeked into the room.
“Nick?”
The lack of an answer surprised him. He expected a sock or a pillow to come flying at him. Opening the door further, he looked around the messy room before looking into the bathroom. When he looked around the room again, he noticed Nick’s backpack was missing, which usually meant Nick was gone.
Brian walked back into the living room. “Anyone seen Nick?”
AJ and Howie shook their heads. Brian walked to the outer door and looked into the hallway. Seeing one of their bodyguards, he waved the man over. “Hey, Mike, you seen Nick?”
“Not this morning. I only came on a few minutes ago. I’d have to check with…” Mike stopped as he watched Tony exit from his room.
“Tony, where’s Nick?”
“In his room.”
Mike pulled out his two-way radio. “No, he’s not.”
Clicking on the handheld, he called down and asked if Joe had seen the young man. The “no” that crackled over the radio started a panic in Brian. He rushed back into the living room and banged on Kevin’s door. AJ and Howie stood, knowing that something was wrong.
“Kevin, man, wake up!”
Irene opened the door, allowing Brian to enter the room. Kevin was shaving in the bathroom when his cousin raced in.
“Nick’s gone.”
The older man dropped the razor. “What?”
Brian took a deep breath. “He’s not in his room, his backpack’s gone, and no one’s seen him.”
“Shit.” Kevin wiped the shaving cream off his face and rushed into the bedroom to pull on some clothes.
“What’s wrong?” Irene looked up from buttoning her shirt.
“Nick’s gone.”
“Oh, shit.” She hurriedly pulled on some shoes and followed the two men into the living room.
The security team had assembled in the room, and they were questioning Tony about the previous night.
“We went to the gym, we came back, I left him in his room. He was planning on going to bed.”
“So what happened to make him leave?” Kevin paced the room.
A ringing cell phone drew everyone’s attention. AJ picked up his phone. “Hello?”
[Hey, babe.]
“Hey. I can’t really talk right now. We’ve got kind of an emergency.”
[Let me guess, you’re missing Nick.]
AJ let out a relieved sigh and sat down on the sofa. “Is he okay?”
[Physically, yes. Emotionally, he’s licking his wounds.]
AJ shushed the people around him so he could hear. “What happened?”
[Jane called him last night. I don’t have all of the specifics, but she called him stupid, told him he needed to grow up. He wasn’t doing well when he got here last night. It took a while for me to get him to sleep.]
“Do you need one of us down there?” AJ looked over at Brian, then the others.
[Not yet. Let me see how he’s doing this morning, okay?]
“Call me when you need us.”
[I will. Bye.]
“Bye.” AJ ended the call and looked at his friends.
“He’s with Meredith.”
Five bodies breathed a collective sigh of relief. Mike looked at the guys for a moment.
“Is he safe there? Do we need to send someone down?”
Kevin smiled. “He’ll be okay.” He looked back at AJ. “What happened?”
“Jane.” AJ tucked his phone back into his jeans pocket. “Apparently she called him last night, hit him with some low blows. Meredith didn’t have the specifics, but she said she’d let us know if we needed to come down there.”
Brian laid his head back against the sofa. “You know, just once I’d like to do a promo tour without some sort of catastrophe.”
“Amen, brother.” AJ dropped down on the sofa beside his friend before looking up at Kevin.
“So, I guess we wait for another call from Meredith.”
Table of Contents
Chapter Three