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Picture in your mind the scenario if you will;......"Always going home with an intact model, being able to fly after every single landing, crashing and smiling at the same time, those care free hazy days" That was the wonderful world of epp not the sixties man! For some reason though you have reached that stage where all this doesn't float your boat. The culprit was that dude who turned up at the slope with a moulded glider with a trailing edge sharper than a cut throat razor, with it's a sleek, shiny outline making your epp glider look like something you found on a skip.
You are astounded that it does not have leading edges like the kitchen worktops on your model and parcel tape hanging off every corner, it is so stealth like flying away from the ridge you can hardly see it, one more thing it's noisy too! The logic being that if you can't see it, you simply listen out for it............"Cool!"
The look on your face of utter envy says it all, as you ignore your once prized epp model and drool over this mysterious object of beauty and desire. Welcome to the Formula 1 world of moulded models, you can nearly have just as much fun with one of these gliders as you could with your old ladies new implants you bought her for Christmas (dream on suckers!) "No; you would soon get fed up with those.............. wouldn't you?"
Your epp glider has finally found a new home, the bin; to cries of "About time too" You want one of those moulded rocket ships and you want it now...............reality soon sets in though when Mr Moulded tells you what it all costs and how many servos it takes to fly it and he's got a smile on his chops, leaving you with a dull sickening feeling to the pit of your stomach.
"But your transmitter doesn't have that many functions" I hear you cry!. "That's ridiculous! how can they justify that price tag?" Maybe your patched up epp model ain't half so bad after all.........it hasn't got a motor so why the hell do you need more than two servos anyway? "I'll stick with this for now me thinks"
Your thoughts are truly shattered
when Mr Moulded re launches his rocket ship for you to simply watch in awe,
double chins drop as he makes a fly past. The energy retention and sound is
incredible, either those clouds are low or that thing motors? (I shouldn't use
that word) You bet it won't be that shiny for too much longer though when he
has to land it at warp factor speed and hits one of those pet rocks that always pop their heads up just as you are coming in to land. To which you hear the words "Crow braking" and Mr Moulded spot lands his rocket ship easier than 1...2...3..........."Doh!"
"Hmmn, these are toys for bigger boys!"
"Psssst!...........yes you,.........all you've got to do is convince her in doors that you must have one or you won't be competitive and therefore be forced to give up the hobby, mope around the house all weekend and sulk! ok?"
"Doh!"....................."Why on earth does she want the living room decorating again? it's only been eight years since you did it the last time, right?" "I know, life's really tough at times, but at least you will finally got your well deserved allowance"
So, freshly armed with your pocket money smouldering in your back pocket; the easy bit is what to buy?.........................WRONG!, you know that feeling? thumbing through all those glossy model mags, like kids in a sweet shop. Decisions.........decisions, it's enough to make your head hurt. "Why do they have to make so many different types, if only there were far less to choose from it would be so simple?"
"Good afternoon sir, can I interest you in something for the weekend, between 1.5 and 2.5 mtrs in length?" "Hmmn let me see now; how about a nice shiny new moulded rocket ship, with those fancy wing tips, do they come in many different colours?"
"Sorted!.............or so I thought"
"So what's got a wing profile you could shave with?............An XModels Blade, but what needs two new mini fuselage servos plus four extra slim wing servos, a super slim line receiver, oh and a state of the art transmitter with enough switches to resemble a Porcupine to make it fly properly.................... yes; got it in numero uno"
"Oh how I wish that moulded dude hadn't shown up at the slope and pissed on my bonfire"
I next decided to enroll at my local technical college to study computer programming, to enable me to set up my brand new user friendly transmitter. I firstly decided to set up my DS Gulp to get used to the transmitter. "Right then ..........I got this damn thing switched on, where is the glider mode, ah yes.......hear we go then........elevon mixing,........ elevon mixing .............where the hell is elevon mixing?"
After much head scratching and retrieving the set from the bin I found elevon mixing under............ ACRO mode and notGlider mode.........."Aren't I a silly bugger? Doh!" It's so logical when you think of it. "Is it my age?" "Now why won't my elevons go in the right direction?"...........Ah, it appears all receivers are not numbered the same for the same function and positive to one make is negative to another. "Manufacturers do this to make our hobby far more interesting for us, how very considerate"
No problem, I will just have to put my part time gynaecological skills to good use and find the receiver somewhere in the Gulps fuselage. "Wow! just look at the fun that can be had on a rain swept day stuck at home in front of the telly" When I eventually got round to programme my six servo Blade I gave my daughter the transmitter to study; apparently she not only mastered all the functions but programmed reverse differential for me, all in the time it took me to break open another tin..........."burrrrp!" Not bad for eight years of age "chip off the old block"
Now that I am ready to take on Mr Moulded, I have started to pace up and down the ridge like an expectant father again, with stomach churning. Wondering if the lift is right and thoughts about all that money spent imploding in a dynamic soaring disaster. "Sorry dear!, did I really say all?" Breaking out in cold sweats if some numpty flies too near my air space and it all starts to go pear shaped!. "It's bound to be one of the epp brigade, haven't you noticed?"
"Oh well, you know why Mr Moulded had that grin on his chops don't you? ........................... I suppose you will just have to fly one and find out then?
Double click to enlarge
The ups and downs of dynamic soaring........................."I guess it's simply a case of
having trouble keeping it up!"
X-Models Blade web site http://www.xmodels.it/pages-x-eng/e-x-homeframe.html
Blade suppliers http://www.south-coast-sailplanes.com
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