Lord Buckley's Routines
Religion
Religion

Pleased, flipped and grooved by this very, very gracious group of lords and ladies here, at the Marquis de Moople's Travelling Palace of Joy.

Like I splained to you before I'm a people worshiper. I think people should worship people. I really do.

I went out looking for God the other day and I couldn't pin him.

So I figured if I couldn't find him I'd look for his stash. His Great Lake of Love that holds the whole world in gear. And when I finally found it I had the great pleasure of finding that people were the guardians of it. Dig that. So with my two times two is four, I figured that if people were guarding the stash of love known as God, then when people swing in beauty they become little gods and goddesses.

And I know a couple of them myself personally. I know you do, too. I think people should worship people.

I like to worship somethin' I can see, somethin' I can get my hands on, get my brains on.

I don't know about that Jehovah cat! I can't reach him. I don't know, I'm...

Seemed like every time I found myself in a bind I always, uh, nothing mystic came along to help me, some man or some woman stepped up there, and said, "We'll help you. We'll do this. We'll do that."

That's the way it looks to me, so, uh, recently on the San Berdoo Freeway I got hung up in an old junker car goin' to Las Vegas Nevada. Right in the middle of the freeway during the rush hour it conked out.

Car... rrr, rrr, rrr, rrr drivin' it... Hrrpp... got a weak clutch... whadda ya doin' let it in... don't step on it...

Oh, it was a madhouse, like havin' lunch in the middle of the Indianapolis Speedway.

About three days went by and finally along came God.

There was two of 'em. There was a big god and a little god.

They didn't know me from a... froma. But they pushed and they pulled and they tugged and twisted and they yanked and they gave me every possible assistance in the world and finally got me on my way.

Haven't seen them since.

But I think that people, I hope I haven't offended anyone's religious beliefs, but I think, I think that people should worship people.

I really do.

Transcribed by Earl Rivers



[Table of Contents]
[Background] [A Chronology] [Police Interview] [Black Cross] [The Chairs] [BadRappingOfTheMarquisDeSade] [Boston Tea Party] [The Bugbird] [Chastity Belt] [Fire Chief] [The Gasser] [Georgia, Sweet and Kind] [The Gettysburg Address] [God's Own Drunk] [Governor Slugwell] [H-Bomb] [The Hip Gahn] [His Majesty the Pedestrian] [His Majesty the Policeman] [Horse's Mouth] [Is This the Sticker?] [James Dean] [Jonah and the Whale] [Let It Down] [Maharaja] [Mark Antony's Funeral Oration] [Martin's Horse] [The Mighty Hip Einie] [My Own Railroad] [Murder] [The Nazz] [Nero] [Religion] [Scrooge] [The Shooting of Dan McGroo] [Subconscious Mind] [Supermarket] [The Swingin' Pied Piper] [The Train] [Willie the Shake]

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